Monday, April 13, 2009

Counting Down

"Woman Holding Balance" by Johannes Vermeer

Before Easter, it seemed like the birth of this baby was ages away. Then, last night, after our guests had gone home, Brian and I sat down and said suddenly, "Wait! We're at 34 weeks today! That means we can safely deliver three weeks from now! We need to get ready!!"

My guess is that I won't deliver quite that early, but you never know. This baby is already head down and starting to run out of room (his kicks have become stretches over the past week).

When I was pregnant with Sophia, the "get ready" list seemed endless--and of course, being an eager pregnant mama and the world's biggest anti-procrastinator, I had completed nearly everything by my seventh month :) This time around, it seemed like our list was so short.

  1. Buy a carseat (check, already done and installed)
  2. Pack bag for birth center (no need to do that quite yet)
  3. Plan and make freezer meals (all planned, and a few made, but most I still have to prepare and freeze)
  4. Get a few boy baby clothes (check--excited relatives have already supplied us with enough gifts to get us a by in the first couple months--thanks, y'all!)
  5. Plan for Sophia's care during the labor and birth--YIKES! Suddenly, we come to the one hiccup in my brilliant plan--the one thing I should have been preparing for weeks ago, and left until the last minute!

We have had numerous offers from various friends--thank you, thank you, thank you!--but all with caveats. You see, most of our friends work or are students, and some of them live a little bit of a drive from us...and then some of them are going out of town or will be unavailable on certain days... So Brian and I are compiling various plans of who to call in what situation and I've been drawing up lists and lists of tips and aids to help whoever ends up at our house with Sophia for (who knows how long?) while I'm in labor. Lists of foods she likes. "Translations" of some of her favorite toys, books, and foods, because she's not the best at articulating just yet. Naptimes. Bedtime routine. Likes and dislikes. What to do in case of emergencies. And, of course, my little mommy brain is trying to tell me, "You're only planning for the worst case scenarios...don't get anxious about it. Trust."

This is the word I keep coming back to as I prepare to welcome our son into the world...without my little girl beside me: TRUST. I've never been away from her for more than a couple of hours. I don't know if something will go wrong. Heck, nobody on our list of sitters has even changed a cloth diaper before! And, I tell myself: TRUST. Trust that the One who created this life in my womb, Who brought my Sophia safely into this world, is just as concerned about all these things as I am. These are His children, too!

Oh, what a wonderful thought! When I am weak and helpless in the throws of labor, it's not just the hands of our loving friends who will be caring for my little girl: God will be there, too, just as He will be with me in the birthing suite. Of course, I will plan. That's who I am, and as a mother, that's my responsibility. But, then--glorious thought--I can trust. My children have a Heavenly Father (and a Heavenly Mother, Mary) who are watching over them. And, though I wish it could always be my arms around them, my kisses that comfort them, I can trust God to comfort them in even more profound ways, and I can trust that He will guide the hands and hearts of those who have generously volunteered to be with Sophia when I cannot.

6 comments:

  1. I remember those feelings so well! Giving birth way over here in Japan left us in a similar situation (my husband's family also live far away in south Japan). I will pray that all the little details will work out easily, and that you will have perfect peace!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Too beautiful. Your honesty, vulnerability, and faith brings tears to my eyes.

    ReplyDelete
  3. oh honey.. i wish i could come and watch her for you! (i *do* know how to change cloth diapers;))

    well, in lieu of that i will be keeping her and you all, in my prayers, dear((hugs))

    ReplyDelete
  4. I'm thinking about it, too! Who will watch little Shira when we have a baby next time? But I know everything will be alright. You'll find a safe and suitable arrangement for your little girl, and she will be delighted to be a big sister. Oh I can't wait to "see" that little boy!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Well Bethany, for the record I actually /have/ changed a cloth diaper before, but yes, there are so many caveats to my availability!!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Elizabeth - Ah, good. One diaper tutorial down, then.

    ReplyDelete

Hello! I'm so glad that you have come here to share your heart and thoughts. One quick word from me before you comment:

I ask all visitors to respect this as a place of peace. Disagreements are welcome, but please refrain from posting any ungracious comments. Thank you, and God bless.