Ash Wednesday

"Come back to me with all your heart, fasting, weeping, mourning" (Joel. 2:12).

Readings for today: Joel 2:12-18; 2 Corinthians 5:20-6:2; Matthew 6:1-6, 16-18
For more information on Ash Wednesday, please refer to my post from last year.

Wishing all my Christian readers a blessed and life-altering Lent.

By the way, if you're curious about the background change, The Apple Cider Mill has gone purple for Lent; purple is the liturgical color for this season, representing repentance and waiting. When Easter comes, we'll be back to our regular color scheme :)

Happy Shrove Tuesday!

It's that time of year again: the last day of Ordinary Time before the Lenten season commences! Alternately known as Shrove Tuesday, Pancake Day, Mardi Gras, Fat Tuesday, and Faschingsdienstag, today is a day for merry-making and feasting before the great season of abstinence comes upon us.

Perhaps the most well-known celebrations for this liturgical day are the Mardi Gras celebrations, such as the one in New Orleans. Of course, these are also known for being some of the most irreligious and immoral celebrations available. As our family is British, we tend to draw our traditions from the celebration of Shrove Tuesday, also referred to as Pancake Day in the British Isles. The "shrove" part comes from the tradition of "shriving," or going to Confession, in preparation for Lent. Simple enough, but what about the pancake part?

Pancakes have always been a traditional Shrove Tuesday food. According to the old Lenten regulations, dairy products and fats were among the banned foods during the forty day season, so thrifty housewives used up their supplies of these staples in making sumptuous pancake feasts for their families on the Tuesday before Lent. In Britain, things were taken a bit further, though. Legend has it that one pancake-making housewife was in the middle of cooking when she remembered that she had to get to church for confession. Not wanting to be inefficient, she rushed out the door, skillet in hand, flipping her pancake as she ran down the street to make it in time for Confession. Today in towns throughout the British Isles--and even a few in the United States--women participate in Pancake Races on Shrove Tuesday. Participants must wear a skirt or dress, apron, and heels and flip their pancake a specified number of times while running between two points in town, one of which is always the local parish.

While I won't be participating in any high-heeled pancake-flipping races this year, I will be serving up an abundance of fluffy flapjacks to my family for breakfast, after I've gone a-shriving. We'll round off our gluttony this evening with some steaks, homemade french fries (fried foods are a must on Shrove Tuesday!), and salads; this will conveniently use up some of the last of the meat that I've got stored in the freezer. One nice thing about clearing the freezer for Lent is that I will actually have room to do my freezer meals before the baby's due date in May. Oh, and I mustn't forget the creme d'la creme of our scrumptuous of indulgences: hot fudge brownie sundaes for dessert. I hope your day will be equally as fun and fattening!

 

* The Bookworm's Library has been updated: Real Learning by Elizabeth Foss

40 Days For Life Begins Wednesday!

Throughout the Bible, we find evidence of forty-day periods that God and His people have used for revival, preparation for a great work, and cleansing. The season of Lent, which also begins this Wednesday, is just such a period. The Forty Days for Life campaign, begun in 2007, is "a focused pro-life campaign with a vision to access God’s power through prayer, fasting, and peaceful vigil to end abortion in America. The mission of the campaign is to bring together the body of Christ in a spirit of unity during a focused 40 day campaign of prayer, fasting, and peaceful activism, with the purpose of repentance, to seek God’s favor to turn hearts and minds from a culture of death to a culture of life, thus bringing an end to abortion in America."

If you God has placed this on your heart, I encourage you to join together with Christians across America in this forty day period. God does hear our prayers, and the prayers of the multitudes have done wonders throughout history. You can get involved in the campaign through prayer and fasting, which all Christians ought to be entering into during this Lenten season, anyway; participating in the twenty-four-hour-a-day prayer vigils at a local abortion clinic in your area; community outreach for the pro-life movement; and daily devotionals.

Pope John Paul II was well-known during his life and papacy for speaking boldly about the dichotomy of the "culture of life" and the "culture of death." So long as the United States permits the murder of millions of its most vulnerable citizens every year, it is participating in the "culture of death." But, I have a great hope for America: a country that, despite it's dark chapters of evil against humanity, has always stood on the ideals that all human beings possess innate dignity and that the vulnerable should find refuge in her boarders. At its heart, I believe America seeks to be a "culture of life," and I invite those of you who hope as I do, to join me in bringing that hope to God, that He might make it a reality.

Homespun Value: Reconsidering Handmade

"The Knitting Lesson" by Jean Francoise Millet

There is a life in handmade items. As the hands create, the heart offers a part of itself to the creation. A hand-stitched quilt made up from the scraps of a family's worn-out clothing bears a history, a deep sentiment that a store-bought comforter, no matter how lovely, cannot compete with in beauty and value. The loaf of bread kneaded and baked by a mother's loving hands, which has filled the house with its delicious aroma, will be savored so much more than a preservative-laden loaf wrapped in plastic and purchased at the grocery store. The treehouse that took all winter to plan and all spring to build will be treasured so much more in the coming summers than the one brought home from a lot or toy sale. All of these things take effort. It may seem easier to us, especially in our consumer-centric society, to plunk down the extra dollars rather than spend the time doing things the old-fashioned way. Yet, I think we have lost something more than the money. We have lost the vital link to the objects with which we adorn our lives.

Considering the current economic crisis, a trend toward the homemade and do-it-yourself projects has sprung up. No longer able to shell out the extra money to purchase ready-made items or to pay a laborer for what can really be done oneself, consumers are turning to their own skills--many of which have never been tried or tested before. Of course, frugality is always prudent. We are called to be wise stewards of all that God has given us, and this obviously includes our finances. Yet, the economic benefit of doing for yourself is not what I would like to focus on. When the economy someday turns back around, I hope that we will have rediscovered the value in doing things by hand and will not so readily relinquish it as we have for the past half-century.

I have many dear friends and family members who would roll their eyes at me, saying, "Why on earth would you take time to do that yourself when you can just pay someone else to do it? It doesn't cost that much to buy it." True, the difference in dollars and cents might not be significant, but there is a cost nonetheless. Whether it's baking your own bread, cooking meals from scratch, making your own household cleaners, making your family's clothes (or altering or mending them), fixing the plumbing, painting the house, or weeding the garden, there is inestimable value to be had in doing things by hand rather than paying money for a service or for some factory-made product--value that has nothing to do with money, although that is a definite boon of doing all these things yourself.

Firstly, if you have the skills to do these things--and truly, I promise you, so many things we think are beyond our abilities can be learned and used to be common knowledge not a few decades ago--the end result is likely to be better to your senses than if you had paid someone else to do it. For one thing, you can custom-tailor everything to your own design. You don't have to settle for the bread in the store; you can choose which recipe you like the best. You don't have to settle for the clothes on the rack; you can design your own! You don't have to suffer a mediocre paint job because you couldn't find competent workers when you paint a room or your house yourself. In the second place, you will likely find that the honest work you put into planning and accomplishing some task, the joy you experienced in the creating or fixing of something, and the profound sense of accomplishment that was yours when it was all finished will make the end result so much sweeter than if you had paid someone else to do it--even if it's not quite perfect.

Learning new skills can add quite a bit of spice to your life. Choosing to purchase a new brand of clothing or opting to try a new restaurant is not going to bring you any lasting joy. Learning a new sewing technique, a new task of car maintenance, or a new cooking technique is likely to enrich your life in many ways. You can participate in your newfound skills with others--both those who can teach you and those you can teach. Moreover, you will have cultivated a new part of your identity, enhanced your character, and ameliorated your self confidence by broadening your knowledge and abilities.

I have noticed that those gifts which I have thoughtfully and lovingly made by hand (even at a fraction of the cost of purchased gifts) are always so much more warmly and enthusiastically received by friends and family--even young children, who we are prone to think only want the latest and "greatest" gadgets and gizmos on the market. Moreover, these are gifts, such as my homemade strawberry jam, are often repeatedly requested of me by past recipients. A homemade card or handwritten letter will always be more cherished than even the most perfectly selected Hallmark missive. This is not to say that purchased gifts are by nature less valuable than homemade. Some of my more cherished possessions have been store-bought gifts. I merely wish to point at that "just because" something is homemade, that does not make it less valuable--particularly if the gift-giver has some real skill and put a great deal of thought into the gift and who will be receiving it.

Making things ourselves aids, too, in preventing waste. After I started making my bread from scratch, I noticed that we never wasted a crumb. For one thing, it got gobbled up so much faster, as it tasted better than the grocery store variety. More importantly, though, we avoided wasting any of it because of the work that had gone into making it. Heels of sandwich bread are made into toast; they are never thrown away. Stale bread is made into puddings or mixed into meatballs. When children make things themselves or observe their parents doing so, they learn the true value of a thing: the cost of human effort that has gone into the creating and maintaining of it.

We don't watch television, but I love the old Canadian series Road to Avonlea, and my husband has purchased several of the DVDs for me as Christmas and birthday presents over the years. In one of the episodes from the first season, the protagonist, Sarah Stanley, is not on the best of terms with her cousin Felicity. Raised in a mansion with maids and a nanny attending to her every whim, Sarah knows nothing of the effort that goes into many things until she goes to live with her relatives in rural Avonlea on Prince Edward Island. In this particular episode, Felicity has gone to the significant effort of making a lovely cherry pie. For those of you who have never made a cherry pie, let me assure you, it's a significant bit of work. Felicity would likely have churned the butter herself, made the pie crust from scratch, hand-picked and pitted every cherry, labored over a hot stove in a stuffy summer kitchen to make the filling, and finally baked her pie. Sarah, who of course knows nothing of all this effort, ends up destroying the pie and rubbing its contents all over Felicity's clean apron--which Felicity will later have to treat and wash by hand to remove the red stains. Of course, Felicity has provoked some sort of reaction from her cousin, but every time I watch that scene, I can't help thinking that if Sarah knew something about just how much effort went into that pie, she would have taken revenge in another way. What extravagant waste! Now, let us hope you do not go around throwing people's pies at them, but can you think of anything that you use carelessly in your life that you might value more or take better care of if your own efforts had gone into making it?

Of course, we do not all have the skills to do everything that needs doing. For example, I cannot build a car, so I am obliged to purchase one. This is no reason, however, why I should not try to do those things that I am capable of doing myself. I encourage you to start doing those things that you are skilled in. If you feel that you truly don't have any skills and need to purchase absolutely everything, start small, and begin building your repertoire. You will likely become exhilarated and inspired when you find what you are capable of. Save your money for things that you cannot make or do yourself; with the money you saved doing other things yourself, you'll likely be able to buy better quality when you do need to purchase something. Start adorning your world with items that have been lovingly crafted, that bear the mark of your own creativity or that of someone dear to you. Even handmade antiques, made by perfect strangers long gone, exhude a life that modern factory-made products cannot hope to match. Start to value quality over quantity, experience and honest effort over ease. Learn to see the beauty in the simple joys of handcrafted life.

Show & Tell Friday: The Lamp

To some, it just looks like a broken antique lamp. To me, it is a testament of love.

I bought this lamp at an antique store in my hometown the summer my husband and I were engaged. I was working as an apprentice at a theatre, making a decent wage but not a lot of extra money. Still, when I came across this lamp, I thought, "This will look beautiful in the home my new husband and I build together, and after all, we will need some lamps." I haggled over the price and purchased the lamp. Five months later, it was put on a moving truck and shipped across the country to the new home I shared with my brand-new husband.

The lamp did, indeed bring light and beauty to our house. It sat in our bedroom, and we would curl up in bed at night to read by its light. A year later, it followed us from our rented house to our condominum across town: the first (and so far only) house that we purchased together. The little lamp remained unscathed.

Fast forward another few months: the day of our friends' wedding shower. We were moving furniture in our bedroom, and I had set the lamp well out of the way of danger. As we were moving the mattress back on the bed, my husband set it down awkwardly for a minute, knocking the lamp off the table where I had placed it. It fell backwards and hit our metal baseboard heater. The porcelain globe shattered everywhere. After the reality of what had just happened set in, I ran from the room, choking down tears of disappointment and anger.

My husband followed me to the other room where I sat, crying bitterly, as I had not done since I was a child. I felt so foolish, but I was angry, too, and so sad. He apologized. Through my sobs, I blurted out, "I know it's stupid, but that lamp meant so much to me! And, I know I'll never find another one like it!" My husband wisely concluded that it was probably best just to let me cry it out. After all, I was six months pregnant and very emotional to begin with. While I continued to blubber in the front room, he returned to our bedroom and started gathering the broken pieces of the lamp shade. When I was calmer, he showed me what he had done. "I can't promise you I can fix it," he said, "but I'll do my best." I nodded with a sniffle. I forgave him, and we hugged. Finally, we headed off to the wedding shower.

Over the next couple of days, the two of us worked side by side, painstakingly working to reconstruct the lamp with super glue and tweezers. It was one heck of a puzzle, made more complicated by the fact that some pieces had been obliterated into a fine powder, as evidenced by some of the larger cracks in the pictures. While we worked, we talked about the importance of forgiveness in marriage and the value in not giving something up for lost just because it was broken. Though I would have liked to have my lamp whole again, I would not have traded the experience, because it brought my husband and me closer together and strengthened our marriage.

Today the lamp sits on my bedside table, a testament to the strength of our marriage and a reminder that forgiveness and hard work can fix even the most seemingly irreperable damage.

Preparing For Lent

With Ash Wednesday only a week away, it is probably a good idea for faithful Christians to start preparing for Lent. For some, this will be a familiar ritual; for others, it will be entirely new. Many Christians do not celebrate Lent. Or, perhaps they did celebrate in their childhood, but found the season to be a shallow and hypocritical one designated by vows of abstaining from chocolate or television. When celebrated as intended, the forty days of Lent should be the most profound season of penitence and reflection in the Christian year, and I think it is something that all Christians should experience rightly at least once in their lives. Of course, if you do celebrate Lent fully, my guess is that you'll want to continue observing it every year, even if your denomination does not require it.

Before we can begin preparing for Lent, it makes sense to understand exactly what Lent is. Lent is a period of forty days of reflection, penitence, abstinence, and prayer in preparation for the holy celebration of Easter. Most denominations, including the Roman Catholic Church do not count Sundays within these forty days, since on Sundays, we celebrate a mini-Easter each week. As Jesus Himself said, "How can the guests of the bridegroom fast while he is with them? They cannot, so long as they have him with them. But the time will come when the bridegroom will be taken from them, and on that day they will fast." However, the Eastern Rite (Orthodox) churches do count Sundays within their forty days, so the season runs on a slightly different schedule than in the West. In either case, the season is counted as forty days.

Why forty? Throughout Scripture, we find accounts of forty day periods being used for fasting, preparation, prayer, conversion, and repentance. One of the most profound for Christians is the account of Jesus' forty days of prayer and fasting in the desert. This event immediately followed His baptism in the Jordan and preceded His public ministry--a ministry that culminated in His death and resurrection. During that time, Jesus was tempted by Satan, but He overcame sin completely. Even so, during Lent, we face up to our own temptations and failings; we seek repentance; we fast as Jesus fasted and pray as He prayed, and we seek to unite our sacrifices to His suffering, which has purchased our redemption.

Let us look briefly at the four elements of the Lenten season: reflection, penitence, abstinence, and prayer.

Reflection: We take time daily to reflect on our own sins and to meditate on how we might improve our spiritual lives. Keeping a journal can aid in this process greatly. Take time to consider the sin struggles of your family members and close friends, as well, and pray for them during this season; remember, first, though to consider the beam in your own eye (Matthew 7:4). Take count of your spiritual life. What diciplines and practices have helped you this past year in your walk with Christ? Which ones have hindered you? Is there anything lacking in your pursuit of God? Consider Christ's life and ministry. Take time to reflect on His passion and death. If you are Catholic, I recommend praying the Sorrowful Mysteries during this season, either daily or weekly. Perform the Stations of the Cross at any local parish that offers it; the practice can be especially profound during this season.

Penitence: For Catholics, this will of course include Sacramental Confession. If you haven't been to Confession for years, I encourage you to go! God is offerring you His absolution and freedom from the bondage of your past sins; why reject this merciful offer? If you're afraid of speaking to a priest about what you've done, I encourage you all the more to attend confession. Actually speaking our sins aloud with no excuses is ultimately humbling--and trust me, the priest has heard it all before. I often find this to be the hardest part: humbling myself enough to give an honest confession. After that, the penance always seems lighter than I deserve, and the absolution brings the all-consuming peace of God.

If you do not practice the Sacrament of Reconcilliation in your faith tradition, I encourage you to still observe Lent as a season of penitence. Have you hurt someone this past year? Go make amends to your brother or sister. Do you have an accountability partner who can act as your confessor? If not, make the effort to find such a person during this season. Do you have a sin pattern that keeps cropping up again and again in your life? What active steps could you take to try to break that pattern? Perhaps you have left undone things which you ought to have done? Repent of this, as well, and take steps to be more active in being Christ's hands and feet in this world. Of course, these are all wonderful ideas even if you do receive Sacramental Confession.

Abstinence: How did this become such a dirty word in modern society? It instantly conjures up images of a prude maiden-aunt or some far Eastern ascetic, but abstinence is a wonderful practice that has always been a part of the faithful Christian life...until recently, that is. If you have not practiced the discplines of abstinence or fasting, I encourage you to do so during Lent this year, and witness the work God will do in your life. For Catholics, there are some set requirements for abstinence and fasting: We are required to abstain from meat on Ash Wednesday and on all Fridays during Lent. We are also required to fast on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday. The fast is defined as one full meal; two smaller meals which do not together add up to the size of the full meal may be taken if necessary to maintain strength. Eating between meals is not permitted on fastdays, but drinking liquids is.

This is a far cry from the old Lenten regulations--and from what our Orthodox brothers and sisters continue to observe in their Great Lent, the name they give to their Lenten fast. Because of this, many faithful Christian will go above and beyond these limitted requirements to find other ways to "die to self" that they might enter more fully into the life of Christ. Abstaining from alcohol is very common, as is extending the abstention from meat to all days during Lent, rather than just Fridays. The idea of abstinence is to deny ourselves those things that our flesh desires, offering the sacrifice to God in prayer; through doing so, God will refine our characters. When we fast or abstain, our hunger or desire for the thing we are denying ourselves brings to the surface all our selfishness, as well as those attitudes that crop up when we suffer. If we are faithful in our fast, God will use it to transform these selfish attitudes and to teach us much about ourselves and about His relationship to us. Denying ourselves things that people in many parts of the world would never be able to have gives us the opportunity to stop taking our wealth for granted and to open our hearts to those who have so much less than we do. A new gratitude is awakened.

Take time over the next week to figure out what would be difficult for you to do without. Sweets? The internet? Could you walk sometimes instead of taking your car everywhere? Could you avoid shopping for anything but necessities? What about abstaining from sarcastic speech? What will help you to die to self this Lenten season? If you're choosing to abstain from certain foods, you might want start cutting back now. Alternately, you could enjoy feasting on those very foods in order to rid your house of them! If you intend to abstain from a habit, you might also want to start cutting back now; not everyone can go cold turkey.

Prayer: Of course, we should pray every day, but Lent is an ideal time to enter even more deeply and purposefully into prayer. Of course, not every season of life is going to permit us unlimitted time and space for meditative prayer, and we have to be honest about this. In her book Graced and Gifted: Biblical Wisdom for the Homemaker’s Heart, Kimberly Hahn says, “You find your path to holiness in your state in life. You do not finish homemaking tasks so that you can get to ‘holy’ activities, but you find spiritual meaning even in manual labor.” We need to keep this in mind. We can offer our daily tasks as prayers to God. We can pray with our young children. We can read Scripture aloud as a family. Get creative, but do find time to meet God in prayer.

If you feel that you really would benefit from a time of secluded prayer, speak with your family about how you can accomplish this. Could your children promise to remain in their rooms for an extra fifteen minutes in the morning so you can take time in prayer? Could your husband watch the children while you attend morning Mass by yourself? Could a friend watch your children so that you could go perform the Stations of the Cross without having to wrestle a squirming toddler? Do you honestly need a day or two away for a private retreat? Again, be creative. God wants to fill your spiritual reservoir to overflowing, and He will help you to find a way to spend the time you need with Him.

Remember how Jesus said that the Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath (Mark 2:27)? Well, Lent is a lot like that. The boundaries of the Jewish Sabbath created a framework in which the Jewish people could meet with God. They had to prepare for it; they had to make sacrifices: but only in so doing were they able to fully enter into the rest that God provided for them on this holy day! We Christians need to prepare for Lent; we need to make sacrifices. If we do this with our whole hearts and with our eyes fixed on Christ, "the author and perfecter of our faith" (Hebrews 12:2), then we will find our lives transformed by our gracious and loving Lord. If we let this season pass by unobserved, we will never know what work He might have done in us. Take this opportunity to enter fully into the blessings of Lent, and see what God has in store for you.

Too Young to Wed?

When you look at the bridal magazines and wedding dress advertisements today, what do you see? Well, if you're looking at the bride, you'll notice that she is most often in her early thirties, despite the fact that the average age for a first marriage for women in the United States is twenty-five, not thirty. Of course, this all depends on where in the country you live, and whether you live in a rural area or a big city.

Though I have yet to see the statistics to prove it, I would be willing to bet that the average age to marry for women in my area is much nearer to thirty. This wasn't very surprising to me when I moved here, after all, it's a major metropolitan area. What did surprise me was all the incredibly rude comments I received when people--even complete strangers--noticed my wedding ring. One customer at a coffeehouse I used to volunteer at saw my ring as I was handing back her credit card. Narrowing her eyebrows, she looked at me with concern and said, "How old are you?"

Not wishing to be rude in return to a customer, I answered truthfully, "Twenty-two."

This time, her eyebrows shot up into her hairline. "Well," she said, "I thought you were even younger. But, twenty-two is still too young to marry, if you ask me. Oh, but I'm sure you're fine," she added, a feeble attempt to mitigate her attrocious lack of manners. I was half-tempted to shout at her retreating figure, "But, I actually got married when I was twenty-one!"

Only a century ago, twenty-two was the average age for an American woman to marry. Even today, this age allows for a four-year college education before marriage: something most American women are seeking before settling down, as the college experience can be very grueling and is not necessarily conducive to young married life. And, of course, this is just an average. Women who don't care for higher education might marry earlier; those who wish to establish themselves in the working world for a few years or who were not fortunate enough to find their spouse in high school or college might marry later. I'm not proclaiming twenty-two as some magical age when everyone should marry. But, I'm not willing to jump on the bandwagon and say that twenty-seven or thirty is the "perfect" age to wed, either. I think that when one should marry will be greatly personal.

Of course, things have changed significantly from one hundred years ago. In relation to this topic, it is perhaps most prevalent that the American definition of childhood has changed. Where "childhood" used to refer to a pre-adolescent, and adolesence through the teen years was referred to as "youth," now we see childhood as stretching well into high school and "youth" stretching through the twenties! Not surprisingly, this has enabled (or enfeebled?) many youths to act like children and many adults to act like teenagers. And the bar seems to be lowering as the years march on. Ask an average group of college students, and you will likely find that either they are acting like immature hooligans or that their parents are unfairly treating them as such, keeping unnecessary tabs on everything they are doing and trying to control their adult child's life from afar. It is understandable, then, that many people will assume that a twenty-two year old is not capable of handling the "real world" with its taxes and bills and no second chances, let alone marriage. Frankly, many are not. One need only consider the fact that America's legal drinking age is twenty-one to have a sense of why this might be so. But, this has everything to do with the way the twenty-two year old has been raised and not with his or her mental, physical, emotional, or spiritual maturity, per se.

Technically, any adult (and a twenty-two year old is an adult) should be more than capable of leaving childhood well behind and taking up the mantle of manhood or womanhood. Simply because our society would rather coddle the teen and young adult and indulge or turn a blind eye to foolish and immature behavior on the behalf of many twenty-somethings does not mean that any given twenty-something is, by nature, incapable of being a responsible, mature adult. Moreover, we are seeing more and more thirty-somethings who are persisting in just this type of childish behavior: living with their parents, flitting from job to job on a whim, and spending their nights and early mornings partying themselves into oblivion. Will we soon be saying that thirty is "too young" to marry?

In addition to our societal rethinking of what makes an "adult," we have also done a job of redefining what makes a marriage. Dating or engaged couples are encouraged to cohabitate to "make sure" that this is what they want, despite the fact that many studies on such couples show that they are more likely to divorce than couples who don't cohabitate--that's if they marry at all. Many men who cohabitate will be reticent to actually extend a proposal of marriage; after all, they're having their cake and eating it, too, so why bother? With widespread contraceptive use and societal sanction, premarital sex has become vastly common, and both the unifying and procreative aspects of marital sex have been divorced not only from marriage but from sex itself! Our culture puts undue stress upon "falling in love" and on the wedding day, and almost no attention or preparation is given to the decades of married life that are intended to follow this honeymoon period. Self-sacrifice, that glue of married life, has been tossed aside out of fear or for the sake of pride or personal ambition. Is it any wonder that, today, more than half of all American first-time marriages will end in divorce? Any truthful couple will be aware that, according to the statistics, their marriage has a less than 50% chance of survival. How bleak. No wonder many young people, who have been the victims of their own parents' divorces, are delaying or putting off marriage altogether.

I'll say it again, the problem is not any given individual's age; the problem is that our society has not prepared its citizens for married life, regardless of age. Let's take a look at a list of some of the things that are going to be required in a marriage:

• Can you take responsibility for your actions, or have you always relied on others to smooth over your mistakes for you?
• Can you actually apologize without justifying or making excuses, or do you just say, "I'm sorry you felt bad?"
• Can you forgive even when you've been deeply hurt? Can you give someone a second chance?
• Can you give someone the benefit of the doubt, or do you always think the worst?
• How do you treat your immediate family: your mother, your father, your siblings? How about when your relationship with them is sufferring? How about when you're around them all the time? This is how you are likely to treat your spouse, one day, when the bloom has worn off the rose.
• Can you cook? Clean a bathroom? Vacuum? Dust? Without being asked?
• Do you spend money responsibly? Can you keep to a budget? Are you responsible about paying bills on time? Remember, the number one reason for divorce is "finances."
• Do you feel prepared to take on the role of parent and to welcome children into your life? While I don't believe in using artifical contraception, I realize that others do: Don't think that birth control is infallible. If you're having sex, you have made yourself open to the possibility of children. If you're not ready for that, then you're not ready for marriage.
• Can you keep a commitment even when you'd rather do something else?
• Can you sacrifice your own desires for the good of someone else?
• Can you be chaste? Are you able to control your sexual urges? If you can't be chaste prior to marriage, how do you expect to remain chaste in marriage?

I know some eighteen-year-olds who could confidently run through this list. My husband was one of these mature-for-his-age individuals. For me, I was twenty before I could do it, and we married the following year. I know some twenty-five-, thirty-, even fifty-year-olds who could not truthfully go through this list and deem themselves ready for marriage. And, this is just a basic list of the more fundamental elements necessary for a marriage to run smoothly. So, when you see a young man or woman with a wedding ring, don't jump to the conclusion that he or she is "too young" for marriage. Likewise, don't assume that just because you're twenty-five or older that you are ready for marriage. The question ought not to be about age but about maturity, and this will depend entirely upon the individual.

* The Bookworm's Library has been updated: Beautiful Girlhood revised by Karen Andreola

A Very Special St. Valentine's Day

Mr. & Mrs. Brian Hudson, December 17, 2005

 

February 14th is celebrated by many as a day for love and romance. This Valentine's Day, Brian and I are celebrating in a very special way: Today is the day we finally have our marriage convalidated! Hm...somehow that doesn't have a very romantic ring to it. At least half of you are probably sitting at your computers wondering, "What on earth is she talking about? Con-vali-what?"

Convalidation is the process through which a legal marriage or a religious marriage performed in the presence of a minister other than a Catholic priest is made valid in the eyes of the Catholic Church. It is retroactive, meaning that after the convalidation, the marriage is considered valid from the time of the original vows. In our case, this will mean that this convalidation is recognizing our marriage as valid from the time we were proclaimed man and wife over three years ago, on the morning of December 15, 2005 through the present time. It officially legitimizes our children in the eyes of the Church, and it declares what our intent has been all along: that we are married not just according to the state but in the eyes of God and His Church.
Largely, this is a legal process, requiring a lot of paperwork getting filled out and stamped, taking a several-hundred-question FOCCUS survey, receiving any necessary or required counselling, and meeting with the parish priest. The culmination of the entire process is the only really romantic part of a convalidation: the ceremony. Some people (usually those who eloped, like my paternal grandparents back in the 1940s) choose to have what might basically be considered a "second wedding," inviting all their friends and family, wearing formal clothing, hiring musicians, etc. Since Brian and I already had a Christ-centered wedding, this is not what we chose to do. Our convalidation ceremony will be very simple. It will take place in the morning, following the daily Mass. We will dress in our normal Sunday clothes. Besides the priest and our daughter, we will only have our two witnesses present. Yet, being devoid of all the trappings will not make this experience any less special, because the essential element--the vows--really is only about the two of us.
According to Catholic teaching, marriage is a very unique sacrament, because the grace conferred in it is not administered by the priest, though a priest is present to witness the sacrament. In the sacrament of marriage, the spouses themselves administer God's grace to each other through the vows they speak. Though Brian and I have already made these solemn promises before God and made our lifelong covenant together, it will be a precious moment when we repeat our vows again, renewing that covenant and remembering those promises after three years of marriage: three years that have brought us to a new home, that have blessed us with children, that have seen us through many changes as the following years are sure to do.
Now, not only will our marriage be valid in the eyes of God, our friends, and our family but according to canon law. This may seem rather legalistic; in fact, it is rather, but it is also more than that. I read once that "Canon law is meant to guide, not rule." Canon law brings unity to a diverse Church. It hedges us in from erring unwittingly into sin, and it shepherds us back when we have gone astray. It promotes fairness and order among Christians. By convalidating our marriage, my husband and I are able to declare in a very real way that these aims are worthy and that we desire this unity, this following Christ, this fairness and order in our lives as Christians.
And, of course, what more romantic gesture can one make on Valentine's Day than to renew one's wedding vows? This serendipitous timing makes me smile in my very soul, and I am grateful for blessings great and small today.

Show & Tell Friday: Valentine's Cupcakes

Today, Sophia and I made red velvet cupcakes with white icing, decorated with red sprinkles and pink conversation hearts. The red cupcakes symbolize love, of course, but they also stand for St. Valentine's martyrdom. The white icing represents the sanctity of marital love, but it also represents Valentine's sainthood. The sprinkles and conversation hearts were just for fun. I tried to pick out some more appropriate messages with the conversation hearts... I'm not sure how well I succeeded. There were an awful lot of "Get Real"s and "Hot Stuff"s in the bag I purchased :-P

Who Was St. Valentine?

To be honest, nobody quite knows the answer to this question for certain, because three different Valentines were recorded in the early martyrologies under the date of February 14th. Tradition, however, believes that the St. Valentine who is now venerated on that day to be Valentinius, a priest of Rome, who was martyred 269 AD by Emperor Claudius II for refusing to renounce his faith and buried along the Flaminian Way. Tradition tells us that Valentinius was "discovered" as a Christian by aiding persecuted Christians and by marrying Christian couples. He is a rather eclectic saint, being the patron of affianced couples, bee keepers, engaged couples, epilepsy, fainting, greetings, happy marriages, love, lovers, plague, travellers, young people. He is, of course, best known for being the patron of love. St. Valentine is often pictured, as above, with birds and flowers.

Today, at least in the United States, Valentine's feastday is celebrated secularly with the exchange of "valentines," or cards bearing sentiments of affection and love, and by lovers giving each other gifts and enjoying romantic dinners. The tradition of giving valentines is thought to have stemmed from the letter that Valentinius reportedly wrote to Julia, his jailer's daughter whose blindness was miraculously cured while the imprisoned Valentinius taught her about God. In the letter, written on the eve of his martyrdom, St. Valentine urged Julia to continue in the faith, although he would no longer be there to guide her. One legend claims the letter was signed, "From Your Valentine."

While it is fun to celebrate the secular elements of St. Valentine's Day (I confess I am a longtime devotee of those little conversation hearts), we as Christians should recall the valiant and humble death of Valentine, who was willing to die rather than betray his faith. We should also recall the import with which Valentine carried out secret Christian marriages. Today when the Christian divorce rate is nearly identical to that of the secular world, it behooves us to remember that, once, there were Christians willing to die in order to be married in the sight of God and the Church. Today, the institution of Christian marriage remains sacred and should be reverenced and kept holy and pure by all followers of Christ (Hebrews 13:4).

Here are some ideas to help you make your Valentine's Day celebration more faith-centered:

• Decorate with red. Not only does this color symbolize love, it is the color of the martyrs, like St. Valentine.
• Memorize the "love verse," John 3:16, "For God so loved the world that He gave his only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him would not perish but have everlasting life." You might consider writing the chapter and verse on valentines or heart-shaped cookies to give to the loved ones in your life. Non-Christian friends probably don't want a sermon for a valentine, but a little clue might send them to the nearest Bible to find out what on earth you wrote on their valentine.
• Pray for your marriage and the marriages and engagements of those that you know. Pray that marriage would be honored and kept holy in our nation and in the Church. Pray for the future spouses of your children; for Catholics, remember that your child's spouse may actually be the Church!
• Read the "love chapter," 1 Corinthians 13, as a family.
• In the Middle Ages, there was a custom of wearing "love knots," sideways figure-8s, to symbolize that true love never ends. You can make edible love knots from sweet dough to share with your family. Below is a recipe from Evelyn Birge Vitz's A Continual Feast.
• If you're not feeling up to a yeast dough recipe, you might want to make some red velvet cupcakes with vanilla icing (red for Valentine's martyrdom, white for his sainthood and the symbolize marriage).

And, just for fun, here are some more secular ideas:

• Do as the Kennedy family has done for generations, and ask every family member who is old enough to memorize a love poem and recite it at the dinner table.
• Decorate with flowers! With Lent coming up and winter continuing to keep flowers at bay in many areas, Valentine's Day is a lovely opportunity to bring some life into your home. Carnations (particularly pink ones) are a symbol of love--and they last for weeks! Just add a little table salt to the water in the vase to keep the stems from decomposing.
• Very young siblings (who typically don't have as many companions as big brothers and sisters) might feel left out of the valentine card making fun--especially if older siblings go to school and are bringing dozens of cards for their classmates. Take a leaf from Tasha Tudor's book and have little ones write Valentine's to their dolls and stuffed animals.
• Host a Valentine's tea. Brew red raspberry leaf or pink rosehip tea and serve pink sandwiches (chopped strawberries mixed with cream cheese), pink cookies, and pink-frosted cupcakes.

Love Knots

1 cup butter
1 cup sugar
1 egg yolk
2 eggs
1/4 cup sour cream
1 t. vanilla extract
a few drops yellow food coloring
2 1/2 cups flour
1 teaspoon grated lemon rind
Yellow sugar sprinkles

Cream the butter and sugar until fluffy. Beat in the egg yolk, the eggs, sour cream, vanilla extract and yellow food coloring (to make the dough more "golden"). Sift and stir in the flour; add the lemon rind. Chill the dough for several hours and only remove it from the refrigerator a little at a time: this will make it easier to handle.

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F.Shape the dough into ropes about 1/2 inch in diameter and 12 inches long, and twist these into figure 8s. Place the twists on a greased baking sheet, and bake for about 15 minutes. About halfway through the cooking, "gild" with yellow sprinkles.

Makes 12 to 14 "love knots".

Feast of Our Lady of Lourdes

151 years ago, the Blessed Mother appeared to a poor fourteen-year-old girl in the cleft of rock Masabielle in a grotto Lourdes in Southern France. The young girl would later become St. Bernadette Soubiroux. Mary appeared eighteen more times to Bernadette over the coming months, the final apparition occurring on July 16th. Mary, who appeared to Bernadette as a young woman "Lovelier than I have ever seen," sometimes spoke to Bernadette during these visions. Once, the Blessed Mother told young Bernadette to drink from a fountain that miraculously began to flow from a rock in the grotto where the apparitions occurred. Another time, she bade Bernadette to go tell her local clergy about a chapel that the Blessed Mother wished to have erected there. "I am the Immaculate Conception," Mary told Bernadette.

Naturally, the clergy were highly skeptical of Bernadette's accounts, particularly since no one else claimed to have seen or heard the apparitions, even though there were sometimes people with Bernadette when she saw and heard Mary in the grotto. Four years later, however, the bishop of that diocese declared that the faithful were "justified in believing the reality of the apparition". A basilica was built on the rock of Masabielle and pilgrimages to Lourdes began. The basilica was later expanded as it was not large enough to house all the pilgrims who flocked to the site. In 1901, it was named the Church of the Rosary, and it stands there today.

It is estimated that over 1 million pilgrims a year journey to Lourdes, which has become most famous for the healing powers of the waters in the fountain in the grotto that Mary first bade Bernadette to drink from. Though skeptics still abound, thousands of cures have been reported to have occurred at Lourdes, not including spiritual healings which often escape human detection. Many of these cases have been carefully studied and ratified by physicians and other secular experts as well as by religious authorities.

On the anniversary of Bernadette's first apparition, Catholics the world over stop to remember this miraculous event and to honor the Holy Mother of God, who is the Mother of all the faithful. To celebrate this day, you might consider praying the rosary if you don't already. Your family might also enjoy some French, particularly provencale or Southern French, dishes on this day: things St. Bernadette Soubiroux might have eaten. Our family will be enjoying crepes for breakfast and some pork cassoulet for dinner. Tell your children the story of the Lourdes apparitions. If you can get them where you live this time of year, decorate your home with roses and lilies, which have long symbolized Mary. Wear white and pale blue, the colors that Mary appeared to Bernadette in. If you are musical, do sing "Immaculate Mary," also known as "The Lourdes Hymn." I sang this as a little girl, and it is still one of the most beautiful, simple hymns to my ears.

"Immaculate Mary" Lyrics

Immaculate Mary,

your praises we sing,

You reign now in spendor

with Jesus, our king.

Ave, ave, ave Maria. Ave, Ave Maria!

In heaven, the blessed

your glory proclaim;

On earth we, your children,

invoke your fair name.

Ave, ave, ave, Maria! Ave, ave, Maria!

We pray for our Mother,

the Church upon earth,

And bless, Holy Mary,

the land of our birth.

Ave, ave, ave, Maria! Ave, ave, Maria!

We pray you, O Mother,

may God's will be done

We pray for His glory,

may his Kingdom come.

Ave, ave, ave, Maria! Ave, ave, Maria!

A Full-of-Hope Kitchen

“This is a bleak, fallen old world. Life has real pain, disappointment, and evil. Whatever lies ahead, the best preparation is a childhood with a core of everyday calmness/well-being that is given substance by a cheerful, comforting, satisfying, and full-of-hope kitchen. ‘The kitchen is the heart of the home.’ An old and wise saying. The sunshiny stability of the early years tends to be carried on into the rest of life, dispelling shadows.”

~Susan Schaeffer Macaulay, For the Family’s Sake

To me, a full-of-hope kitchen is one that is, first of all, presided over by a loving and devoted woman who takes pleasure in bringing comfort and joy to her household. It is a gathering place; a warm, welcoming haven to rest or to work. It is peaceful and ordered. It is a place to learn and experiment, to get really creative. It is that part of the home which most often engages our olfactory sense: creating vivid memories that can be triggered decades later by the smell of rising bread, baking brownies, or sizzling garlic. The full-of-hope kitchen is a place of nourishment for the whole person.

Of course, sometimes my kitchen is nothing like this. Dishes may be everywhere as I scramble to throw together dinner. On three separate occassions, I have actually been discovered disolved into angry tears over a ruined dish. (Now, I tend to laugh about these mistakes and foibles and offer them up to experience and a good story to tell down the line.) Still, I endeavor to hope that, on most days, my kitchen is a vibrant and comforting heartbeat in my home, bringing warmth, cheer, nourishment, and hope to my family through my by-the-grace-of-God dilligent, creative, and loving hands.

What is your full-of-hope kitchen like? Do you have such a place, or do you remember such a kitchen from another home? If not, what changes could you make in order to build this "heart of the home" for yourself and your family?

* The Bookworm's Library has been updated: The Joy of Family Traditions by Jennifer Trainer Thompson

Sophia's First Haircut!

It was long overdue, but finally Sophia submitted long enough to let me take a pair of scissors to her bangs...not without a great deal of protestation, mind you. I was so proud that I managed to avoid either poking her with the scissors while she squirmed or make her look ridiculous.

I've been thinking, though: with a girl, you really only have to cut the bangs for the first couple of years. If it was this difficult with a good-natured daughter, what am I going to do with our son?

I kept her "first curl" in a little silver box that we were given as a shower gift before Sophia was born. It's so sweet looking at her little lock of strawberry-blonde hair lying in tiny black velvet-lined box. I'm sure it's something that I will come to treasure even more as the years pass.

And, showing off our belly button!

* The Bookworm's Library has been updated: The Catholic Home: Celebrations and Traditions for Holidays, Feast Days, and Every Day by Meredith Gould

Be Prepared: Cooking Ahead

Normally, cooking and baking are my two most favorite homemaking arts. For me, there is nothing as satisfying as setting a delicious homecooked meal or a freshly baked-from-scratch pie on the table. Unfortunately, the ups and downs of the season of motherhood can change things a bit. When I am in my first trimester, I cannot stand the sight or smell of raw or cooking food. Early pregnancy fatigue makes me cringe at the thought of baking a loaf of bread. And, when I've got a newborn constantly demanding sustenance from my own body, the last thing I want to do is make a meal for the rest of the family. During these difficult--though blessed--times, I find myself dreading my favorite tasks: most likely because they are the two tasks that cannot be put off until tomorrow. Everyone in the house, myself included, needs to eat today...and if I wait until I'm hungry to start cooking, forget it! I might as well just pick up the phone and speed-dial the pizza delivery boy.

Of course, the health needs of early pregnancy and breastfeeding a newborn are not very conducive to night after night of takeout. So, what's a mother to do, especially with no relatives nearby to come over and pitch in with the cooking and baking? Remember what she learned in scouting (assuming she was a scout), and "Be prepared!" You can prepare dozens of meals in a single day and freeze them to be thawed and eaten for those days when you can't bare the sight of a cooking pot or (worse yet) a raw chicken breast.

Before the baby is due to be born or before the first pangs of nausea set in with a new pregnancy, get thee to a grocery, and get cooking! If you work better as a team, enlist your spouse, a friend, or an older child to help in the kitchen. Even if he or she is not the best cook, almost anyone can peel potatoes, chop vegetables, mince herbs or garlic, or lend an extra hand for those recipes that read, "whisk continuously for five minutes until thickened." If you work best as a solo act, then hire a babysitter, or send your kids off for the day with a neighbor or your husband so that you can work unfettered.

Next, it's time to lay out your plan of action. Head to your recipe arsenal and start choosing recipes. This is not the time to try a new recipe. Not only would it add to your stress, you don't know how you or your family will respond to it. Stick to foods you know you all love; early pregnancy and the first months after birth are comfort food time. Keep the season in mind (both the one you are cooking in and the one you are cooking for). You want to use foods that are in season now while keeping in mind what your appetites will be desiring over the next couple of months while you're consuming the food you've prepared. Concentrate on main courses, but keep in mind what sides you typically serve with them. You don't want to end up defeating the purpose of the prepared meals by slaving over a side dish that the main course "can't do without" on the day you serve it. If you have the space, coordinate sides with main courses and prepare those in advance, as well. Be sure to label each main course with a note about what sides are intended to be served with it, so you don't forget you have them! While I recommend this process especially for dinners, you may want to consider lunches, as well, particularly if you have the extra freezer space. You can also freeze bread loaves and pizza, cookie, or pie dough.

Next, draw up a detailed shopping list of all the ingredients you will need. Refer to store mailers to find the best deals on what you're buying. For large quantities of produce, visitting a local farmer might be your cheapest (and most delicious) option. Just be careful not to sacrifice sanity for cost. If you're going to be driving forty minutes out of your way just to pick up organic eggs from a local farm, then it's probably best to just buy them at the store, even if it costs a bit more. Organize the list by store, and then again by section (dairy, produce, canned goods, etc.) to streamline your shopping. This is a good trip to try to take without young children in tow, if you can find someone to watch them. If you can't find a sitter or your spouse is unavailable, you may want to break down the shopping excursion over a couple of days. This way, the kids won't be overwhelmed--and neither will you!

Next step: Shop! Make sure you are well rested before setting out, and eat before you go. Do not deviate from your list. You have enough on your plate without piling unneeded items into your cart. Bring a pen or highlighter along to mark off items as you place them in the cart. Don't panic when you see the receipt. Remember, this food is going to feed your family for weeks. Keep in perspective what you would have budgeted over this length of time for the food. In all likelihood, you'll may find that you've saved money--and it's certainly got to be cheaper than the take-out or delivery you might have otherwise ordered.

Now that you've got all your food, organize your recipes so that you can "pipeline." This is a computer engineering term that my husband is very proud to have taught me about during our Junior year of college. The idea is simple: just think of doing a load of laundry. You wouldn't put in a load of whites to wash, then move them to the dryer, then iron them before starting the next load. You pipeline them: load in the washer, load in the dryer, and then some ironing. You can do the same thing with cooking. Lots of recipes take time but don't necessarily require you to be doing something all the time (such as roasting a pork loin). Try to organize your recipes so that you use your time as effeciently as possible. Get that pork loin seasoned and in the oven. While it's cooking, see what you can have bubbling on the stovetop. Do you have serveral recipes that cook at the same temperature? Why not coordinate it so you can pop them in the oven together.

Additional timers may be helpful for this. Keep a notepad or dry erase board handy so that you can jot down any notes as you go. For example, if you put the pork roast and some chicken wings in the oven at the same time, it would be good to know which timer you set for which dish so that you don't end up with undercooked pork and burnt chicken wings.

It's also a good idea (and here's why an extra set of hands in the kitchen can come in handy) to prep as many ingredients as possible. Do you need garlic in several recipes? Mince enough for all of them (or use a food processor), then just add the minced garlic as needed for each recipe. This way, you can consolidate dishes and utensils and save yourself some valuable time. As part of your pipelining plan, you might also want to enlist some help with dishes. Clean as you go! This is the golden rule in cooking, anyway, but it's vital while doing large-scale cooking. The last thing you want to do is realize that you need a clean saucepan within the next thirty seconds only to realize it's sitting in the sink, waiting to be washed. Besides, a little order in the kitchen is likely to calm your nerves on what is going to be a busy day, and every little bit of peace helps.

As you whittle down your list of recipes, it's time to start storing the fruit of your hands. If you are short on freezer space, as I am, I suggest ditching the tupperware and purchasing a hefty supply of good-quality freezer bags. Storing foods flat in freezer bags will save a ton of space and enable you to freeze more meals than you otherwise would have been able to. Do not skimp on this item. If you buy cheap bags, they will likely rip or allow freezer burn, and all your hard work and resources will be wasted. You can get wonderful Glad or Ziploc gallon-sized freezer bags at stores like COSTCO and Sam's Club for a very reasonable price. Just do it.

I suggest storing and freezing the number of portions that work best for your family. For example, if you have a family of six to feed, then freeze six portions. If it's just you and your husband, freeze two portions. Label each bag with the dish, any dishes that accompany it, the number of portions, thawing or reheating instructions (or cooking instructions, if you are freezing partway through the recipe), and the date. Then, lay bags flat in the freezer. Keep a running list of each dish that you put into the freezer, along with the number of portions, and put this list on the freezer door. As you use up the dishes in the coming weeks, you can mark off what has been used so you know what is left to eat. This way, you won't have any unpleasant surprises come dinner time, and you won't accidentally waste any of the meals you so carefully have prepared.

One or two really busy days of work can pay off so much in the long wrong. The Girl Scouts definitely had something going on. Of course, you can "cook ahead" just for the heck of it, too; you don't need to wait until you have a baby on the way. Many large families, especially, say that once-a-month cooking has done wonders for their sanity and health. You can also just double a recipe on any given day and freeze the extra servings with the instructions given above; an easy way to get two or more dinners from one cooking effort.

Just keep in mind: cooking is fun! Sometimes it might feel like a chore, but with a little ingenuity, perspective, and planning, we can view our kitchens as artists' studios, our ingredients as our palettes, and we can enjoy the creativity and satisfcation that comes from preparing a homecooked meal.

* The Bookworm's Library has been updated: Life-Giving Love: Embracing God's Beautiful Design for Marriage by Kimberly Hahn, Cookbook for Fridays and Lent by Irma Rhode

Library Lovers' Month

As an avid reader and the daughter of a librarian, you'd have to expect that I'd be bringing this to your attention! That's right, February is National Library Lovers' Month. Why not get one of your spring cleaning chores out the way early; sort through your bookshelves, CD racks, and DVD collection and donate anything you haven't used in the past couple of years or don't intend to use again. You can also transfer CDs to digital format (MP3s, iPods, etc.) and donate your CDs to save space if you're like us and always looking for a way to carve out an extra little corner of space in a small home. Books and other media are wonderful, but they are meant to be enjoyed! If you're not longer enjoying some of yours, donating them to your local library is a great way to spread the love.

Candlemas

Candlemas is not a widely celebrated holiday in the United States. I wrote about it last year, so for those of you who were around then or who already know what Candlemas is about, forgive me the repeated history lesson.

What on earth is Candlemas? It's the festal day when Christians celebrate the presentation of Jesus in the temple. This was a sacred day of purificiation for firstborn Jewish boys when they would be consecrated to God. Luke recounts the story in his Gospel, Ch.2, v. 21-39. For Catholics, the Presentation in the Temple is the fourth Joyful Mystery of the Rosary. As you can probably guess from the name, Candlemas is an occassion to break out every candle you have in the house and illuminate your home on a dark mid-winter night. Candles are used for several reasons. One is the use of fire in ancient Jewish purification and sacrificial rituals. Another reason is that Jesus is called the "Light of the World" and candles symbolize His presence with us, as well as the flame of the Holy Spirit. A third reason is because of links to the ancient pagan holiday of Imbolc, which is celebrated around the same time each year and draws heavily on fire in its symbolism. It has long been the tradition of the Church to Christianize cultural traditions rather than abandoning them altogether.

In Britain, it is customary to remove one's Christmas decorations on Candlemas, which marks the 40th day following Christmas. A poem by Robert Herrick illustrates a superstition that if the decorations are removed after Candlemas, it will mean bad luck for the family:

DOWN with the rosemary, and so

Down with the bays and misletoe;

Down with the holly, ivy, all,

Wherewith ye dress'd the Christmas Hall:

That so the superstitious find

No one least branch there left behind:

For look, how many leaves there be

Neglected, there (maids, trust to me)

So many goblins you shall see.

This is also the date that bears and other animals are thought to emerge from winter hibernation. If the hibernating wolves return to their dens, it is thought, in Britain, that the weather will continue to be severe for at least another forty days. In Germany, the animal that was watched for was a groundhog, rather than the wolf. In the United States, this superstition gave way to Groundhog Day--another holiday celebrated on this date.

In France, the day is celebrated by eating crepes for supper--but only after 8 PM. If the cook flips the crepe in the pan while holding a coin in her other, it is believed that the family will have good luck through the coming year. In Mexico, tamales are the customary treat of the day, and whoever gets the coin in the King Cake on Epiphany is required to throw a celebration party. Some Mexicans also remove the Baby Jesus from the Nativity scene on this day, dressing the figure in brightly colored outfits.

This year, we chose to take down our decorations on an earlier traditional day for doing so: Epiphany, due to the fact that we had a lot of live greenery this year that was becoming, well, progressively less alive. So, in any case, that ritual is out. In our family, we will be celebrating by reading the story of Jesus' Presentation in the Gospel of Luke, lighting some candles, and possibly having a go at flipping some crepes! In a beautiful synchronicity, Candlemas falls on a Monday this year, one of the days of the week on which the Joyful Mysteries of the rosary are recited, so I am also looking forward to a special meditation on the Presentation of the Temple today.

* The Bookworm's Library has been updated: Table for Eight: Raising a Large Family in a Small Family-World by Meagan Francis

Feast of St. Brigid of Ireland

Brigid is the patroness of Ireland. She was born in the middle of the 5th century to a pagan father and a Christian slave mother, about 50 years after the death of St. Patrick. Brigid's mother was sold away around the time of Brigid's birth, at the insistence of Brigid's father's wife, to a Druidic poet. At the age of 10, however, Brigid was sent back to live with her father who ran a dairy. Brigid took over running the dairy, though she enraged her father by giving much of the produce away as charity.

A few years later, Brigid visitted a Christian monastery. As she entered, a priest had been recounting a vision he'd had and when he looked up and saw Brigid, he declared that she was the woman from his vision. Shortly thereafter, Brigid went to live again with her mother, who also worked in a dairy. Brigid broke their produce into 13 portions, in honor of Christ and the apostles, with the thirteenth portion being larger than the others, and this she gave away to the poor. Miraculously, it is said, their pantry was always filled despite their poverty and generosity. Brigid's life persuaded the Druid poet who owned her mother and his wife to convert to Christianity, and they were baptized. Moreover, the poet granted Brigid's mother her freedom, and so the two women returned to Brigid's father's clan.

Of course, Brigid's father and his wife were still displeased by her constantly giving away her father's wealth to the poor, so Brigid was taken by her father to the Christian king of Leinster, Dunlag, to be his bond maid. While waiting in her father's chariot while he spoke with the king, a leper approached Brigid, and she gave him her father's sword. When Brigid was brought before the king, he recognized her extraordinary faith and convinced her father to grant her freedom. As a freewoman, Brigid became marriageable within her father's clan. But, she chose instead to dedicate herself to the service of God as a virgin. It has been said that Brigid, who was very beautiful, would take pains to disfigure her features in order to make herself undesireable to the men around her. Eventually, her father relented and allowed her to take vows; Brigid became the first nun in Ireland.

Brigid formed the first religious society of women in Ireland. It is said that when she took her vows, her disfigurement vanished and her beauty was restored. The sisters made a convent at The Church of the Oak, on land in Kildare given to them by Dunlag, King of Leinster. The convent grew, and Brigid travelled all over Ireland to begin others. In this way, she became known throughout the country for her wisdom and kindness and came to be called "Mary of the Gaels."

Brigid died in 525, and her sisters continually kept a fire burning in her honor--it did not go out until 1220. After this, it was relit and burned for another 400 years, when it was finally extinguished in the aftermath of the Protestant Reformation. Because of this fire and the placement of her feastday on the day before Candlemas, Brigid has always been associated with light and fire. In Ireland, it is still tradition to light a bonfire on St. Brigid's Day. Brigid is the patroness of dairy maids, infants, midwives, blacksmiths, poets, nuns, and students.

Besides the bonfires mentioned above, here are some ways to celebrate St. Brigid's Day:

• Gather and bring donations to a local food kitchen in honor of Brigid's charity to the poor.
• Donate to or volunteer for a local program that helps women and children, in honor of Brigid's selfless care of mothers and their children.
• Educate yourself about midwifery or pray for a local midwifery practice, in honor of St. Brigid.
• Pray for expecting mothers and their unborn children.
• Make traditional Irish foods, such as colcannon, corned beef and cabbage, or soda bread to share with your family. You can even make special St. Brigid's Oatcakes (recipe in previous post, below).
• Make a St. Brigid's Cross. Legend has it that during her travels, Brigid sat on the floor of a dying chieftain's home, making such a cross out of the rushes on his floor. When he asked her what she was doing, she told him about Jesus, and the chieftain came to faith and was baptized. It became tradition to make these crosses on Brigid's feastday. After the cross was made, it was blessed with holy water and the prayer, "May the blessing of God, Father, Son and Holy Ghost be on this Cross and on the place where it hangs and on everyone who looks on it." It was then hung on the door or in the front window of the house and left up all year to be burned and replaced the following year on February 1st.