Deck the Halls...with Purple?

Advent has finally arrived!

While I cherish the vibrant, magical, joyful celebration of Christmas, there is something deeply soul-satisfying about the reflective, candlelit season of Advent. In keeping with the spirit of the season, we keep things simple in the days leading up to Christmas Eve, with only a few special celebrations scattered here and there--St. Nicholas's Day, The Feast of the Immaculate Conception, and St. Lucia's Day. Our annual tree cutting is also a special occassion, though we don't do the actual decorating until December 24th. This simplicity includes not only the activities we choose to engage in but also the food we eat and the way we decorate our home. We don't break out the real treats and the exciting decor until Christmas!

Still, it would be too sad to strip our home of its autumnal decor without putting something in its place. Here is a peak into our rooms to see what decking the halls for Advent looks like in the Hudson home.

I wasn't a huge fan of our old Advent wreath with its flimsy holders and correspondingly wobbly taper candles. So, this year, I improvised with some pillar candles I had laying around a tray that was given to Brian and me as a wedding present. I like that the pillars are sturdy and long-lasting enough to stay lit all through dinner and still last the whole season. I just wish I'd had three purple ones. Ah, well. There's always next year.

Here's our fireplace mantle. I found these neat purple votive holders at Target, and I placed them around the house. This particular one has taken up residence between our statue of St. Therese and one of my favorite pictures of Sophia, the one I brought with me to the birthing center when James was born.

Here's a close-up of the kids' new advent calendar. I found it for twelve bucks at our local Value Village. There's a little box for each day, and rather than candy--because Advent is supposed to be a penitential season, after all--I have put an Advent-related activity for each day inside the twenty-four boxes. Sophia opens it in the morning, and we have an Advent calendar book that slowly tells the Christmas story with excerpts from Scripture for the evening.

How are you decking your halls for the season?

A Recipe to Share: Chocolate-Cranberry Torte

Photo by Mark Thomas, Bon Appetit, December 2003

This Thanksgiving, we celebrated at our friends' house with five other couples and our children. What a multi-ethnic gathering! There were guests from Mexico, China, Germany, Russia, and Israel. I felt extremely monolingual, but also very proud to be an American, as all the immigrant guests gave thanks for this country that truly does welcome, incorporate, and celebrate people from all over the world.

One of the fun things about having such a diverse gathering was that everyone brought a dish to pass. My personal favorite was a traditional Rosh Hashana dish of carrots, raisins, and date syrup--not your traditional glazed carrots. As you might have expected, I asked to bring dessert. In addition to the traditional apple and pumpkin pies, I made a decadent Chocolate-Cranberry Torte that I have had my eye on for years now. I knew it was going to be extremely rich and also time consuming, and I was waiting for a large enough gathering to warrant making it. This thanksgiving afforded the perfect opportunity.

Here is the link to the recipe, again, for those of you who would like to try it out. It was truly one of the most delicious desserts I have ever made, and certainly among the most beautiful. I don't have a photo to upload at the moment, but my version ended up being just as beautiful as the picture here, and trust me, I'm not the world's most accomplished cake decorator.

I give you fair warning, though--it is over-the-top rich! The recipe says it serves 8-10, but in reality, it seems you could double--if not triple!--that estimate. So, if you're going to make it, be sure you have lots of mouths to feed. In any case, it was well worth the effort, and would make a fabulous Christmas dessert, as well. Bon Appetit!

The Gift of Being

"Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep." - Romans 12:15

It is uncomfortable to truly be present with someone in crisis. We can feel compelled to fill the silences with empathetic stories, humor, and words of encouragement or advice. When these fail, we are tempted to pack up our bag of tricks and leave. We feel that if we cannot be of any concrete help, our presence is unnecessary, even perhaps unwanted. Paradoxically, I think that it is often our presence that is covetted and our help that is often unwanted and perhaps unnecessary.

As a friend of mine recently said, "Being helpful is overrated. Being is harder."

I have heard so many stories in recent weeks of people in crisis who found themselves abandoned when they needed company the most because the people they relied on could not do the one thing they truly needed: Be. Someone to sit with them in their crisis. To stand beside them. To simply be in the eye of the storm. There, where any words of encouragement would be hollow and trite, any advice had already been tried, and humor was an unwelcome distraction.

In the Jewish faith, there is a beautiful tradition of "sitting shiva." Mourners who have lost immediate family members observe seven days of mourning, litterally sitting shiva on low stools, usually in the house of the deceased. It is considered a mitzvah--literally meaning "commandment" but more generally understood to mean "a good deed"--to visit with mourners during shiva. The laws and customs associated with this time of bereavement bespeak the wisdom of Romans 12:15 and of my friend, that sometimes the best--if hardest--thing to do is simply to weep with those who weep.

When a visitor enters a Jewish house of mourning, no greetings are exchanged. Visitors wait for the mourners to initiate conversation. Once engaged in conversation by the mourners, it is of course appropriate for visitors to talk about the deceased. The point is not to avoid conversation or to act like nothing has happened but to let the mourner determine the course and tone of the mourning. If the mourner never speaks, then the visitor never speaks. He merely sits. He is merely there. And, this is a mitzvah.

It can be frightening to meet someone in their grief. It can be unnerving for us to acknowledge that there may be no help. Like Job's friends, we itch to start spouting our wise maxims. For a mother who has miscarried, "God has a plan." To a friend who is devastated by long years of unanswered prayer, "Let go, and let God." For the widower, "She's in a better place."

All these things may be true, but they may also not be, and the real test is: is it necessary to share them? Perhaps, in some situations, it may be. In others, however, I think it is often preferable to simply be. And to be. And to be. For as long as we are needed. Like our Blessed Mother on Calvary, can we simply be, through it all, to the end, until it is finished?

"True North 5"

I won't be sharing any of the novel I'm writing here at the Apple Cider Mill, since I'm planning to submit it for publication once it's finished, but I thought I would let you all know that it is going very well and progressing much more quickly than I had anticipated. I'm really enjoying spending time with my characters, and I'm grateful to my husband and children for sharing me with them so often.



Since I can't show you what I'm writing, I thought I would, instead, share a poem that has been a sort of jumping off and focusing point for me throughout the writing process of this particular project. I found it extremely evocative, and I hope it speaks to you all, as well.



"True North 5"



It's Easy

at the South Pole. There every
direction
is true North. Direction, there, itself

the point
turning and moving,
or the place

where you look, if you still
stand waiting.
Though

you forget
all the steps forget!
Remember,

every,
and so easy,
at

the nadir.



- Stephanie Strickland, True North

Incredibly Moist Hungarian Coffee Cake

I did some adapting of this recipe from Catholic Cuisine to make a Hungarian coffee cake for my nameday on Tuesday in honor of my patron, St. Elizabeth of Hungary. The result was--and I swear I'm not trying to boast; I was actually rather astonished--the best coffee cake I have ever eaten. It was moist but still dense; absolutely delicious. Thanks to some fat-free sour cream, it was actually a little lower in fat than a standard coffee cake recipe, as well.

So--because if you've got a good thing, why not share it--here is the recipe for you all. I hope you enjoy it as much as our family did!

Ingredients:

1 c. butter
1 1/2 c. sugar
2 eggs
1 t. vanilla
1 t. salt
1 1/2 t. baking powder
2 c. flour
1 c. sour cream

1 tsp. cinnamon
1/3 c. brown sugar
1/2 c. chopped pecans

Directions:

Butter and flour a bundt pan thoroughly.

Beat butter and sugar until light and fluffy. Add eggs and beat well. Add the vanilla, salt, baking powder, flour, and sour cream and beat for three minutes.

Mix the brown sugar, cinnamon and pecans together in small bowl.

Pour half of the batter into the bundt pan then top the batter with all of the brown sugar mixture. Top that with the remaining batter and knock the pan on the counter a bit until the batter settles. Bake at 350F for 45 minutes to an hour (45 minutes was plenty in my oven). Do not overbake! As soon as the tester comes out clean, it's done.

Let the cake cool for 10 minutes before removing from the pan. You can dust this with powdered sugar or a glaze, but that's just too much sweetness for my family. We like ours plain with a cup of strong, black coffee.

The Gift of a Sibling

A brother is a friend given by Nature.

~Legouve

“We are not only our brother's keeper; in countless large and small ways, we are our brother's maker.”

~Bonaro Overstreet

Our brothers and sisters are there with us from the dawn of our personal stories to the inevitable dusk.

~Susan Scarf Merrell

St. Elizabeth of Hungary: November 17th

November 17th is a special day in our household. It is the feast of St. Elizabeth of Hungary, my patron saint. Well, sort of my patron saint. I chose her myself when I was five years old.

While my name is biblical, referring to the ancient city outside of Jerusalem where the famed Lazarus was raised from the dead, there isn't any saint by that name. When I was in kindergarten, my class at St. Villa Maria was performing a pageant for All Saint's Day and we were each supposed to come dressed as our patron saint. I went home troubled that night to ask my Protestant mother who my saint was because I hadn't known in class. Bewildered, she called up one of the nuns at my school and asked her the same thing.

"Well, there isn't a St. Bethany," Sr. replied. "But, there are several St. Elizabeths, and there's St. Ann. She could choose one of them." And, she told me briefly about each of these wonderful women, and I chose St. Elizabeth of Hungary, sometimes called Elizabeth of Thuringia.

Elizabeth was the princess of Hungary, but she was sent to Germany at the age of four to be raised by the family of her betrothed, Louis of Thuringia, heir to a powerful dukedom. At fourteen, she and the then-seventeen-year-old Louis were married.

Elizabeth had been deeply pious from childhood, and she was particularly passionate about helping the needy and downtrodden. She opened a hospital for the poor in one of her castles and ran a soup kitchen. As Duchess, Elizabeth established the Franciscan order in Thuringia and became herself a tertiary, of whom she is co-patron, along with St. Louis of France.

One of my other favorite things about St. Elizabeth was that she was passionately in love with her husband. She was a saint, but she was also very much a woman. And, Louis truly loved his wife in return. Who doesn't love a fairy tale romance? Louis and Elizabeth had three children, but unfortunately, the fairytale ended tragically.When Elizabeth was twenty, her husband died while on crusade. When Elizabeth heard the news, she ran shrieking through the castle, mad with grief.

Louis' greedy brother coveted his inheritance. He evicted Elizabeth and her three small children from their home, and forbade anyone in Thuringia granting them shelter or asylum. Elizabeth and her children were forced to hide in a pig pen from the rain, but poverty, loss and persecution did not embitter Elizabeth. She held firm to her faith and trusted in God's Providence.

After some time, word of Elizabeth's mistreatment reached her father, the King of Hungary, and he prevailed upon the Holy Roman Emperor to intervene. Elizabeth's lands were restored to her, but she voluntarily relinquished them and chose a life of holy poverty. After securing her children's welfare, she lived in a small room in the hospital she had founded and cared for the sick and the lepers.

Emperor Frederick begged for Elizabeth's hand in marriage but she refused. She died at the age of twenty-four. It is said that, at the moment of her death, the room in which she lay was suffused with a great light. Many miraculous cures were reported at her grave site, and she was buried wearing the imperial crown which she had refused in life.

In addition to the tertiaries as mentioned above, Elizabeth is the patron saint of bakers, countesses, death of children, the falsely accused, the homeless, nursing services, widows, and young brides. She is often depicted with alms, flowers, bread, a pitcher, or surrounded by the poor.

As a young child, I confess, I was drawn to St. Elizabeth because she was a princess, but throughout my life, I have been convicted and challenged by her example of generosity, her heart for the poor, her willingness to serve, and her strength in the face of adversity. Now, as a wife and mother, I am even more grateful to have her as my patron saint. I think that she understands so much of what I experience in these roles, and I know that she is encouraging me to a life of holiness with her prayers.

This is the first year that I will have out-aged my patron saint. She died at twenty-four, and I am twenty-five. This seemed significant to me for some reason, so I wanted to do something special. My husband and I have donated our charity tithe (as opposed to our parish tithe) to Heifer International this month, in her honor. It was kind of exciting, because his company is doing a drive right now, and they were able to match our donation! I will also be making a Hungarian coffee bread (St. Elizabeth's Crown) for breakfast on my nameday, and serving a Hungarian mushroom soup, a simple salad, and of course, traditional Hungarian braided egg bread--St. Elizabeth's symbol--for dinner. I would love to do more--perhaps volunteer in a soup kitchen--but it will probably have to wait until another year, when my kids are older.

The third week of November will always be a busy one for us--my husband's birthday is the following day, and it's right before Thanksgiving! Of course, I have always thought that celebrating St. Elizabeth's feast shortly before Thanksgiving Day was very fitting. Few other women have exemplified so well the virtue of generously giving back in charity the bounty that God has granted to them. Celebrating her life is a wonderful way to prepare our hearts for the feast of plenty to come.

Know Thy House: When You Need to Pare Back

There are lots of things that can lead a homemaker to reevaluate and cut back on the intensity, time, or focus she devotes to housekeeping: a new baby, a sick friend or relative, a busy time at work, a death in the family, or--as in my case--a sudden burst of creative energy that must be capitalized on before it recedes. At such times, it is important to be kind to ourselves and accept a "good enough" standard and approach to homemaking. At the same time, we can't let our homes fall by the wayside; we still must adhere to a standard that is "good enough."

I have found that the best way to thrive during such seasons comes not from a book but from personal reflection: know thy house. Know what aspects of housekeeping can be neglected without things falling apart, and which are necessary for health, comfort, and a general sense of well-being. This will likely be unique for each family and each home environment.

For example, in my home, home-cooked meals that have been planned and shopped for at regular intervals throughout the week are essential to a sense of well-being. Take-out food--even pizza--just doens't say home to me. However, I know plenty of people who feel perfectly cozy and well-nourished with a box of local Indian carry-out. To each her own.

Another task that I simply cannot let slide is keeping my floors clean. We adopted the habit of removing our shoes in the house from our Japanese and Korean friends in college, so we are barefoot or in slippers or socks while at home. In addition, we have two little children who love to be on the floor for most of their waking hours. And, finally, I have pretty nasty allergies and mild asthma. So, dust, cat hair, and pollen accumulating all over our floors is simply not an option in our house. If we let it pile up, we're going to feel it, and we're not going to feel well.

In general, any task that is essential for health--cleaning the bathroom and the kitchen regularly, for example--is something that cannot be ignored, even during stressful seasons. But, even these can vary from household to household. As I said, vacuuming is one of these for me, but if you wear shoes in the house, don't have allergies or pets, and have teenagers rather than toddlers, you may not need to vacuum as regularly as I do.

In addition, keep in mind those little things that make your home truly feel like a sanctuary for your family. Is it candles on the mantle in the evening, pancakes on Saturday morning, a well-kept backyard where your sons can play football with the neighbor kids? Whatever it is, try to make time for these little things that may seem nonessential but really do go a long way toward keeping the family happy and feeling cared for.

Finally, remember to give yourself a timeline for returning to normalcy. Paring back is good and even necessary sometimes, but it's not something that should be done all the time. If that sick parent ends up moving into your home for the next three years, I doubt you'll feel very good about forgoing dusting all that time. And, that new baby is only going to grow into a busy little person who sleeps less and requires more supervision. Sometimes, what was overwhelming in the short term ends up needing to be incorporated into normal, everyday life when the situation becomes more permanent. It is important, therefore, to give yourself a general--or specific, depending on your personality--sense of when you're going to say, "Okay, enough is enough. Let's figure out a way to work those neglected tasks back into the routine." This may require delegation of tasks to household members who previously did less work. It may even require hiring help (sending out suit pants and shirts for dry cleaning rather than laundering and ironing them yourself, for example).

When paring back, remember to keep praying about and evaluating your priorities, keep goodcommunication going within your household to ensure that everyone is continuing to feel cared for and no one is feeling neglected, and be kind--to yourself and to those you make a home with and for.

Autumn Bliss

There's nothing quite like pulling a perfect apple pie from the oven on a wet November evening. My tips for the best apple pie:

1. Slice your apples very thinly.
2. Use lots of cinnamon and a little nutmeg.
3. Make your crust from scratch--and by hand! No food processors. You will get the most tender crust this way.
4. Don't forget to dot the filling with butter before putting on the top crust.
5. Start baking at 425F for 15 minutes, then lower oven temp to 375F and bake until bubbling.
   

And for optimum enjoyment, see if you can cook up a rainy November day...

There Can Never Be Enough

"Whenever I groan within myself and think how hard it is to keep writing about love in these times of tension and strife which may, at any moment, become for us all a time of terror, I think to myself: What else is the world interested in? What else do we all want, each one of us, except to love and be loved, in our families, in our work, in all our relationships? God is Love. Love casts out fear. Even the most ardent revolutionist, seeking to change the world, to overturn the tables of the money changers, is trying to make a world where it is easier for people to love, to stand in that relationship to each other…There can never be enough of it."

- Dorothy Day

More Advent Ideas

A dear friend of mine wrote a great response to my Advent post of the other day. Apparently, the blogger comment application wouldn't allow her to post all of her wonderful ideas--the comment was too long. But, she emailed them to me, and I decided to post them here for you all to enjoy.
I particularly love her suggestions for music. She is a wonderful musician and music teacher, and I am a total novice when it comes to such things, so I always love her input in this area. Enjoy!


Thanks, Bethany, for this post as an invitation to dialogue about Advent! It is truly one of my favorite times of year, and the twelve days of Christmas mean so much more when Advent is celebrated first. Here are a few of my favorite ways to celebrate Advent:

- We really enjoy having the advent wreath on our table for devotions in the weeks leading up to Christmas. In addition to doing a Bible reading, we sing a verse of an advent hymn together each night. There are so many great ones, but they are often ignored in churches that don't really "get" advent! O Come O Come Immanuel in our hymnal has seven verses, so that will get you through the first week of Advent right there...Discipline yourself to save Christmas music for Christmas. Joy to the World, the Lord is Come is so powerful if you wait to sing it until Christmas morning!

- If you like classical music, there are so many wonderful pieces written for the celebration of Advent. Start with Bach's Cantata BWV 140. Read a translation of the text first (it's in German) and then listen to the cantata (really sit down and LISTEN without doing anything else - if you are out walking with your ipod, or riding in your car, it doesn't count...) and meditate on what the music and the text say about Christ, our relationship to him, and his second coming.

- Continuing the classical music theme, get a recording of the full Messiah by Handel. Do some concentrated listening during Advent to the first section of the oratorio, which focuses on Messianic prophesy. Then listen to the section which covers Christ's birth and the angels/shepherds on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day, and you will feel as giddy with joy as the shepherds were.

(And one last musical tidbit, although this pertains more to Christmas than Advent - every year, on Christmas Eve, the service of lessons and carols is broadcast on the radio from Kings College in Cambridge. Find stations and times online. This is an amazing way to transition from Advent to Christmas!)

- Speaking of the second coming, which I was a few points ago, because Advent is a time of preparing to celebrate Christ's first coming (incarnation) as well as looking forward in anticipation and preparation for the second coming, I like to use Advent as a time to study parables about the kingdom of heaven and Bible texts about the wedding feast that is to come. Start with the story of the virgins and the oil, and go from there.

- I'll differ from Bethany in that I do do much of my Christmas planning in October and November - so that I don't have to do it during Advent. This weekend I am putting new lights on our artificial Christmas tree. The tree will go back into the basement storage tomorrow, but now I won't need to spend a whole day doing this when it is time to get it out again. This kind of prep is so that during Advent I can spend my free time enjoying the season and have peace in knowing that the necessary pieces for my Christmas celebration are already in place. As a grad student and a musician Christmas concerts and finals line up nicely :) and the first weeks of December are so busy anyway, I like to do the work part of the prep ahead of time. Plus, if my shopping is already done before Thanksgiving, I don't even have to witness the secular craze that surrounds everything during December.

- I, too, enjoy books as part of my Advent celebration. A beautiful portrayal of the waiting and anticipation of Advent can be found in "The Twenty Four Days Before Christmas" by Madeline L'Engle. It has been a favorite as long as I can remember and would be great for grade school age children on up.

- In preparation for the abundance of rich foods we enjoy at Christmas, I like to pare back in Advent. Lots of vegetarian meals, less dessert - food and spirituality are very tied together for me (I really don't mean to sound new agey in that, although I admit it does sound that way...) and this is a way to prepare my body for feasting and celebration too!

- Finally, I have never heard anyone else express it quite like this, but I like to think of Thanksgiving as a kick-off for Advent, much like I've heard of my Catholic friends enjoying "Fat Tuesday" as a feast day before Lent. Thanksgiving is a holiday unto itself, I know, but it seems that a huge celebration of the abundant gifts God has given to us is a fitting way to begin a period of time devoted to focusing on preparing our hearts for his second coming, and evaluating the best way to be his hands in this world. Remembering that Advent is the beginning of the liturgical year, Thanksgiving Day is like a huge New Year's celebration for me.

This is very long, but your post got me very excited, Bethany! I love Advent and discussions about how to observe it are so helpful to get ideas flowing, since Advent is pretty counter-cultural in today's world.

Thanks for the opportunity to think about this!

An Advent Primer

'Tis the season to start planning! In most of the secular world, that "planning" is targeted at Christmas, and the malls are decked and the gift lists compiled earlier and earlier each year it seems. But, in our household, as in many other Christian homes, we don't start planning for Christmas in October. Oh, sure, I admit I even start nabbing up appropriate presents on sale in July, but I don't really start planning for Christmas this early in the season. I do that during Advent, and I start preparing for Advent...hmm...right about now.

It was very apropos, then, that I received this question from a reader a few days ago:

I'm a Protestant whose family never celebrated Advent. I find myself wanting to observe Advent this year in some way, even if I don't go all-in with it, but I don't know where to start. Is there any resource that you would recommend--book, website, anything--that would help me get started and provide me with some options even if my husband chooses not to observe Advent with me?

Advent literally means "coming," and it is a four-week season that precedes Christmas. It is meant to be a season of penitence, reflection, and fasting, but as we all know, this is hardly the tenor or focus of the four weeks that precede Christmas for most people. Usually, the season of Advent can be categorized for contemporary Americans by business, exhorbitance, indulgence, and stress. Many Christians try to step back from the temptation to follow the crowd in this regard, but all too often what they end up with is a period of time that doesn't feel preparatory; it merely feels ordinary. We know that we don't want the weeks before Christmas to feel "ordinary," and so we feel torn between cutting back and giving into the secular siren call. In either case, how we usually feel by the time Christmastide rolls around is exhausted and dissatisfied.

Advent provides a wonderful balance. It is not ordinary time; it is a season set apart in anticipation of the great feast and celebration of Chistmas to come. The very penitent nature of the season prepares us to surrender completely to the celebration of Emmanuel, God with us. The more we surrender to Advent, the more our hearts will be ready to receive the gift of the Christ Child, just as Lent prepares our hearts for the gift of our Resurrected Lord.

That might all sound well and good, but it still doesn't explain how one goes about actually celebrating this holy season. I'm sure I'll write more throughout the season, but here is a primer to help you get started in exploring the many wonderful traditions and customs that make this sacred season so wonderful.

1. 
   
   Remember that Advent is a seaosn of PREPARATION for Christmas. Advent is not Christmas. This distinction may look different in different homes; it's the principle that counts. So start thinking about how your Advent can differ from you Christmastide.
   
   For those who think Christmas just comes of its own accord and requires no preparation, I offer the analogy of a birth in the family. Of course, the baby is going to come at the end of gestation whether you prepare for it or not, but you do prepare. You go to lamaze classes, you set up a nursery, you pray, you reflect, you journal, you anticipate. At Christmas, we celebrate the birth of Christ. Moreover, we are looking forward with hope to His Second Coming. He's going to come, anyway, of course. But, it will be better for us if we're ready for the celebration!
   
2. 
   
   Advent is about PLANNING. Gifts, festivities, devotions, worship, decor, and above all food are integral parts of the Christmas feast. Rather than starting to plan for them at Halloween, give them their proper place and use the peaceful season of Advent to plan and to slowly acquire what you need. Of course, if you make gifts by hand or you see a sale, you'll likely start planning for that particular arena around summertime. Still, I find that if I do most of the other Christmas planning during Advent, I'm more likely tostay focused on the spirit of the season, rather than getting holiday overload by December 1st.
   
3. 
   
   Advent is PRAYERFUL. In our home, this involves an Advent wreath with accompanying devotionals each night, increased times of prayer and reflection individually and as a family, an emphasis on a prayerful attitude especially in our relationships with others, more frequent attendance of daily Mass if at all possible, and on Christmas Eve a blessing of the Christmas Tree. Methods of prayer are, by and large, a product of culture. How you experience God in prayer may look very different from how my family does. That doesn't matter; the important thing is to put some additional time and effort into communing with God in preparation for Christmas.
   
   
4. 
   
   Advent is PURPLE. The traditional color of Advent is purple, the color of penitence. In fact, the other purple season in the Church is Lent. Rather than decking the halls in red and green, why not considering donning some purple decor. It will help you and yours keep in mind that this season is not Christmas; it is the preperatory, prayerful, planning season that precedes Christmas. It helps to have a visual reminder of this distinction.
   
5. 
   
   Advent is PENITENTIAL. When Jesus was born, three wise men brought Him gifts: gold for his Kingship, frankincense for His priesthood, and myrrh for his death. Christmas, Christ's Coming, necessarily points to the Cross, the reason He came. Just as Christmas is a foretaste of Easter, so Advent is a foretaste of Lent.
   
   In preparation of the celebration of Christmas and in anticipation of the day when Christ will return, we take time to reflect on our spirituals journeys, to take count of our shortcomings, to ask God's forgiveness, to seek absolution, to make reparation for our sinfulness and the fallness of our world. We give alms, we fast, we pray, we confess our sins, and we ask God to take us deeper into the life of faith, to make us more like Him.

To help you further in your exploration of Advent, here are some resources that I have found helpful in my own experience. Remember that in order for any tradition to be worthwhile, it must resonate with you and your household. We can't cherry-pick our doctrine, but we can and should cherry-pick our devotions. I hope these resources will help you in that endeavour.

Internet Resources:

• 
  
  Fish Eaters: Novenas, nativities, Jesse trees and more! This is a treasure trove of ideas for Advent, as well as the feastdays that fall within Advent, such as St. Nicolas' Day and Santa Lucia Day.
• 
  
  25 Ways to Celebrate Advent: A stream-lined resource for some quick, easy ideas.
• 
  
  Ideas for Fasting
• 
  
  American Catholic: Some good inspirational articles and how-tos for celebrating Advent, Christmas, and Epiphany.
• 
  
  Focus on the Family: Scripture readings for each day of Advent, and more!
• 
  
  One Sunday Visitor: Inspiring articles and craft ideas.

My favorite literary resources for Advent:

• 
  
  Advent, Christmas, and Epiphany in the Domestic Church by Catherine and Peter Founier
• 
  
  Kirsten's Surprise by Jeaneatte Beeler Shaw, illustrated by Renee Graef
• 
  
  Watch for the Light: Readings for Advent and Christmas
• 
  
  Advent and Christmas Wisdom from Henri J. M. Nouwen
• 
  
  Advent and Christmas Wisdom from G.K. Chesterton
• 
  
  Lucia Morning in Sweden by Ewa Rydåker, illustrated by Carina Ståhlberg
• 
  
  The Legend of Saint Nicholas by Demi
• 
  
  The Miracle of Saint Nicholas by Gloria Whelan, illustrated by Judith Brown
• 
  
  The Catholic Home by Meredith Gould
• 
  
  Book of Feasts and Seasons by Joanna Bogle
• 
  
  excerpts from The Story of the Trapp Family Singers by Maria Augusta Trapp

Please, share your favorite resources here! Obviously, a great many of my resources are written for Catholic Christians, though I believe that many if not all of them are applicable to Christians of varying denominations. If you have resources that written specifically from a Protestant standpoint, I'm sure some of my readers would be very grateful. And, for my Catholic readers, I would really love a good book for celebrating the Immaculate Conception with my children. As of now, I don't know of any; so, if you have one, please pass it on.

Best wishes for a blessed Advent season, from my home to yours!

The Ultimate Burnout Survival Guide

I'll let you all in on a little secret: I'm writing. Not at my usual frequency on this blog, as you may have noticed. I'm actually working on a novel right now, and at the moment, the writer's block dam has burst, so I'm spending pretty much every free moment--and there are never enough of those with two little ones at hand!--at the keyboard. So, all that is to say that, for today, I'm going to let someone else do the talking here at the Cider Mill.

Some time ago, my friend Jennifer at Conversion Diary wrote a post on burnout. I thought her advice was bang on and extremely helpful. So, to prevent myself from having to implement her advice myself, I'll direct you to Jennifer's post now.

Catholics "Heart" Sex!

Last night, we had "Sex Night" at our parish youth group. A youth group alum who is now in college and has been dating her boyfriend for over two years came to talk to the kids about her choice for purity. Then, the youth leader gave a talk about the importance of chastity in all of our lives and how awesome our sexuality is and how God created it to be expressed within certain boundaries and that it is in those boundaries, paradoxically, that we actually find freedom and joy in the expression of our sexual selves.

Later on, we sent the guys off into another room and had each of the girls write down a question anonymously on a piece of paper. After a short prayer, we then did our best to answer their questions candidly, truthfully, and compassionately. The guys did something similar in their session. After the Q&A, we came together again, and the boys laid hands on their sisters in Christ, to pray for their purity. Afterwards, the gals did the same thing for their brothers.

It was an awesome experience. I think there are few topics so vital to the faith life of teens today as sex. It's something that we cannot afford to be taboo about in the Church. We need to talk to our kids about sex. We need to tell them how great it is, as evidenced by the giant banner we had hanging in the parish center last night declaring, "Catholics 'Heart' Sex!" We need to make it safe for teens to ask any questions at all about it--and we need to be ready and willing to answer them openly, lovingly, and honestly. If we don't, someone else will, only they might not give our kids the answers we want them to hear, the answers that speak of God's amazing, beautiful, exciting, glorious truth about human sexuality.

I know that what we had to say and share at Life Night was in one ear and out the other for some of the teens. A couple of the guys were cracking jokes and snorting with laughter about the idea of holding themselves back physically in a dating relationship. Some of the girls, I'm sure, are in sexual relationships with boys that they are not willing to let go of at this point in their lives. But, to me, that's the great thing! It's not about preaching to the choir; it's about sowing the seeds.

Last night, seeds were planted. Vulnerable sharing and bold defense of God's truth made it possible for kids who might otherwise never have heard anything other than society's lies about this vital human matter to be exposed to something better. It might seem like a joke to them right now. It may mean nothing for years. But, someday, they may look back and say, "That night was the beginning of God working in my life to lead me to purity."

When the youth left last night, laughing, joking, and dancing to 'N Sync (yeah, I don't know; we were playing "Bye Bye Bye" on the stereo system; I was actually surprised most of the kids even knew what the song was!), we handed them cards with a verse from 1 Timothy on them:

"Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity."

I truly believe that the open communication of godly adults with the youth of the Church and the brave example of those youths to their peers, under the guidance and power of the Holy Spirit, has the potential to move mountains.

Teens today are aching for the truth about their sexuality. They are looking everywhere for answers--and most of the avenues available to them are selling them lies. The Church needs to start speaking up about sex. If she doesn't, someone else is going to.