"St. Joseph" by Reni
St. Joseph is the patron saint of many things, but this year, I particularly reflect on his patronage of fathers and of a holy and happy death.
For breakfast, I joined one of my best friends for doughnuts (traditional St. Joseph's Day fare) at Donuts Delite. This little, retro donut shop was the hilight of our visits to our grandparents' houses, three doors down from each other, both of which were within walking distance of the donut shop. Our fathers went there as children. Then, they took us. We went there for holidays and birthdays. Through the window next to our booth, we could see the church where our fathers worshipped as children with their families, the same church where my parents were married over thirty years ago.
Five years back, the little donut shop shut its doors, we thought, forever. I was there on the last day and bought a dozen glazed donuts for my coworkers at the theater where I was interning. So much has changed. Now, I write instead of act. Now, I am married and I have two beautiful children. Now, my father is dead.
While Caiti and I were choosing donuts, a familiar song came over the speaker system. "Blowing in the Wind," sung by Peter, Paul & Mary. They were my father's favorite musical group. I grew up singing that song over and over. On lazy Saturdays, my dad and I would lay down on t he couch and play the CD--well, I suppose back then, it was a tape--straight through. Dad was always napping by the end. When I was nine years old, he took my mother and me to a concert of theirs; it was my first concert. I thought of all this as I ordered my Flying Saucer (it's a donut), but I did not cry.
I ate my donut.
I remembered good times.
I thought of St. Joseph. I prayed for my father, whose death was so very unhappy. I think St. Joseph understands it all: the donuts, the prayers, even the Peter, Paul & Mary song.
"The answer my friend is blowing in the wind. The answer is blowing in the wind."
I'm not sure I will ever know the answer. But, I'm grateful that there is one, all the same.