Friday, December 17, 2010

On Our Fifth Wedding Anniversary

I remember in vivid clarity the first time I held my husband’s hand. It was a handshake on a noisy, perpetually filthy road, and with it I learned his name. It stood out to me so because of it’s candor, it’s honesty, and it’s refreshing formality in a teenaged world of head nods and half-waves. It seemed somehow grown-up.

I realize only now how very young we were.

We have grown up together. For better or worse, our characters have molded each other like grafted vines forming a knotted hybrid.

When we were courting, we each wore a ring. Mine in Hebrew, his in Latin, they bore the words of Solomon: “I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine.” On the morning of our wedding day, I slipped the ring into a little box, it’s promise now fulfilled. My right hand felt strangely naked. He put another band on my left hand, and like a reversal of the Fall, that feeling of vulnerability, of loss and nakedness, seemed to disappear.

The inscribed band is still in its box, and now I have another in its place, a Swedish tradition that marks me as a mother, as if somehow the living reminders would not proclaim loudly or widely enough the miracle of the fulfillment of those Hebrew words, now inscribed upon my life: I am his his and he is mine and we are one and our one became three and then four.

Then came the day when I realized that his hand touching mine no longer brought fireworks or imprinting clarity…

(1401)(1332)(1264)(1547)

…because, like the rings I wear, his hand feels like a part of my own body. The absence of it would be the remarkable thing.

12 comments:

  1. "...because, like the rings I wear, his hand feels like a part of my own body."

    That's really good. I like that.

    Happy Anniversary!

    ~Luke

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  2. Happy Anniversary! Beautiful words.

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  3. Happy, Happy Anniversary!

    Our 5 year is in June, and it's been a hard won 5 years. It hasn't been perfect; in fact, it's been not more often than it has. But thank God for grace, for forgiveness, and for love.

    Enjoy your weekend away. :)

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  4. Happy Anniversary!

    Your closing words brought tears to my eyes.

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  5. Happy Anniversary! Those matching courting rings are such a sweet idea, never heard of that. P.S. I love your wedding dress.

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  6. Beautiful words! Happy Anniversary to you both!!!

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  7. Happy Anniversary Beth and Brian! I can't believe it was 5 years ago I was standing up next to you watching you take your vows, and in a few short months you will be doing the same for me. Love you guys. Have a great time.
    Meghan

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  8. Happy Anniversary Beth and Brian! May the coming years bring you joy, laughter and even a few surprises along the way.
    Blessings and Grace...

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  9. What a beautiful picture of what true love is! Happy Anniversary!

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  10. What a beautiful way to describe it! I sometimes miss the feelings of excitement and sparks that I used to get when my husband and I were dating. Now it is a deep love but so different. I think you described it beautifully-- he is part of me and I would miss him, more than I can even fathom. Thank you for your beautiful insights. And wow what a beautiful bride you made!

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