Feast of St. Brigid: February 1st

To learn more about St. Brigid, the patroness of Ireland, click on over to last year's post in honor of her feastday. In that post, I gave some ideas for how to celebrate St. Brigid's Day, which is the first of February. I list those ideas below, with a few new ones for 2010.

• Volunteer at a local food kitchen or donate to your parish food bank in honor of Brigid's charity to the poor.
• Donate to or volunteer with a local program that helps women and children, in honor of Brigid's selfless care of mothers and their children.
• Consider volunteering your time or other resources to ministries that help pregnant mothers in crisis, as a service both to them and their unborn children.
• Educate yourself about midwifery or pray for a local midwifery practice, in honor of St. Brigid.
• Pray for expecting mothers and their unborn children. You might want to perform a special act of service for a pregnant mother you know: You might offer to do a grocery run for her this week, or perhaps you could take her older children out for an afternoon at the park so she can get some much-needed rest while she grows that precious baby!
• Make traditional Irish foods, such as colcannon, corned beef & cabbage, or soda bread.
• Here is the recipe I use for St. Brigid's oatcakes.
• The recipe for Noreen Kinney's Irish Soda Bread, originally published in A Baker's Odyssey by Greg Patent, is our family's favorite soda bread, and a must alongside a bowl of hot Irish Vegetable Soup. While many soda bread recipes are sweet, this one is savory. The ingredient list may look prohibitive, but if you have access to buying dry goods from the bulk bins at a local grocery store, it is really quite economical--and very nutritious!
• Make a St. Brigid's Cross. Legend has it that during her travels, Brigid sat on the floor of a dying chieftain's home, making such a cross out of the rushes on his floor When he asked her what she was doing, she told him about Jesus, and the chieftain came to faith and was baptized. It became tradition to make these crosses on Brigid's feastday. After the cross was made, it was blessed with holy water and the prayer, "May the blessing of God, Father, Son and Holy Ghost be on this Cross and on the place where it hangs and on everyone who looks on it." It was then hung on the door or in the front window of the house and left up all year to be burned and replaced the following year on February 1st.
• Brigid is the patron of many people, among them cattle and chicken farmers! If you happen to own cows or chickens, you might want to give them an extra treat in honor of Brigid and pray for her intercession to protect your livestock.
• Brigid is also the patroness of poets. You might want to read some poetry with your family today, perhaps religious poetry or something from one of the many wonderful Irish poets. You might enjoy writing poetry, too--consider a homeschool lesson on poetry in honor of Brigid's feast. Limmericks, perhaps? "There once was saint who milked cows..."
• Finally, Brigid is patroness of children whose parents are not married, as hers were not. Please take some time today to invoke St. Brigid's intercession on behalf of those children who find themselves in broken families. If you are close with an single mother or father, think of some practical way to bless them and their children in honor of St. Brigid. Let us be the tangible hands of Christ in this fallen world, as St. Brigid was and continues to be by virtue of her prayers.

Fluffy Whole Grain Pancakes

"'When you wake up in the morning, Pooh,' said Piglet at last, 'what's the first thing you say to yourself?' 'What's for breakfast?' said Pooh. 'What do you say, Piglet?' 'I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?' said Piglet. Pooh nodded thoughtfully. 'It's the same thing,' he said."

- A. A. Milne, The House at Pooh Corner

I adore pancakes! I think I would be perfectly content eating them every single morning. The trouble with pancakes, though, is that they are not necessarily the most healthful food. Adding fruit either in the pancake batter or on top of the flapjack stack is a good start, and a tall glass of ice cold milk helps, too, but adding whole grains to the first meal of the day is the real key to a healthy pancake breakfast. Many of the recipes I have tried for whole grain pancakes, however, prove to be too dense, and they just don't hit the soft spot in my heart reserved for light, fluffly pancakes. However, this recipe has it all: texture, taste, and nutritients. It is now the staple recipe in our house for lazy Saturday mornings.

Fluffy Whole Grain Pancakes

3/4 c. rolled oats
1 1/2 c. buttermilk
1/2 c. flour
1/4 c. whole wheat flour
2 T sugar (white or brown)
1 1/2 t. baking powder
3/4 t. baking soda
1/2 t. salt
1/2 t. cinnamon
1/8 t. nutmeg
1 egg
2 T butter, melted

Soak oatmeal in buttermilk 10 minutes. Meanwhile, combine dry ingredients in a large bowl. Beat egg and melted butter into oatmeal mixture. Stir oatmeal mixture into dry ingredients until incorporated. Pour scoops of batter onto heated griddle. Makes 6 pancakes. Serve hot with butter and syrup. We love ours with berry syrup (2 c. berries heated with 1 c. maple syrup) or sliced bananas.

Mary, Mother of the Son, Volume II

I recently finished reading the second volume in Mark Shea's Mary, Mother of the Son Triology. All I can say is, "Brilliant!" Articulate, accurate, well-researched, fair, and probing, this is the seminal work on Marian apologetics. I am only sorry that my library does not have the other two volumes, and I plan to purchase the entire set soon so that I can read the other books and so that I may pass them on to other Catholics and to those who have questions about Mariology.

The second volume takes a look at the four doctrines of the Church regarding Mary: her title as Theotokos, her perpetual virginity, her Immaculate Conception, and her Assumption into Heaven. As a former-agnostic turned Evangelical turned Catholic, Shea has a unique perspective from which to consider Mariology, and because of this he is willing to ask a lot of the questions that many cradle-Catholic theologians tend to overlook. In his conversational style, Shea approaches arguments against Marian doctrine with confidence and compassion, putting each of them to rest with intelligent logic and a beautiful faith.

If you are a Catholic who wants to learn more about the Blessed Mother or is looking for a way to defend points of Mariology to others, or if you are a non-Catholic who has asked, "Why do Catholics think that about Mary?" I encourage you to pick up Mary, Mother of the Son. This volume, at least, gets four stars (out of four!) in my book!

You can order the three volumes together from Amazon, here.

And, here is an interview with Mark Shea about why he wrote the triology.

* The Bookworm's Library has been updated: Home by Choice: Riasing Emotionally Secure Children in an Insecure World by Brenda Hunter, Ph.D. and The Housekeeper and the Professor by Yoko Ogawa

Homemaking Tip #8: Cake Flour Substitute

If you're like me, you don't have very much pantry space. If you're like me, you also loathe buying gimmicky specialty ingredients. So, when a recipe calls for cake flour, I stick with my plain all-purpose and some good old-fashioned cornstarch. Very easy, economical, and it doesn't take up any extra cupboard space!

There are lots of tips out there for how to sub all-purpose flour for cake flour, but here's what I do: Put 2 T cornstarch in the bottom of a 1 cup measuring cup, then fill to the top with flour as normal and level with the back of a butter knife.

If you need 1/2 a cup, put 1 T cornstarch in the bottom of a 1/2 cup measure and proceed as above. You're all smart; you get the idea! You'll have to use a little more math for more difficult measurements, but as I said, you're all smart. (If you have homeschoolers, let them help you figure out the ratios!)

Cabinet Cooking: Crockpot Chili & Cornbread Cake

How's that title for alliteration? I am such a dork. Ah, well.

Here is another cabinet meal from the Cider Mill. You'll notice that there are a few ingredients in the cornbread that should not be kept in a pantry (milk, eggs, etc.) but they are items that we always have on hand in our refrigerator. So, unless we were returning from a very long trip, I would be able to nab these ingredients in a pinch. The same can be said for the carrot and celery in the chili. However, unlike the milk and eggs in the cornbread, the chili can do just fine without them.

Crockpot Vegetarian Chili

1 onion, chopped
1 carrot, diced
2 celery stalks, diced
3 garlic cloves, minced
1 (15 oz) can corn
3 (15 oz) cans beans (I love to mix and match)
2 (15 oz) cans diced tomatoes
1 (6 oz) can tomato paste
1 c. water
1 c. salsa
1 T chili powder (add more to taste, if desired)
2 t. dried oregano
1/2 t. salt

Combine all ingredients in a crockpot. Cook on high for 5 1/2 hours or on low for 11-12 hours.

Sweet Cornbread

1 c. flour
1/2 c. cornmeal
1/2 c. whole wheat flour
1/4 c. sugar
1 T baking powder
1/2 t. salt
1/3 c. vegetable oil
2 T melted butter
2 T honey
2 eggs
1 c. milk (whole)

Whisk dry ingredients together in a large bowl. Whisk wet ingredients together in a medium bowl. Stir wet ingredients into dry until just combined. Pour into hot greased cast iron skillet (preheat skillet on stove with a little oil or bacon grease). Bake at 350F for approximately 25 minutes.

* The Bookworm's Library has been updated: All Creatures Great and Small by James Herriot

Life Is an Absolute Good

"This list is an absolute good. The list is life. All around its margins lies the gulf... 'Whoever saves one life saves the world entire.'" - Itzhak Stern, Schindler's List

The gulf is still out there. Share what you're doing to save those on the margins.

Reforming Habits

"My Eldest Daughter" by Carl Larssen

Following in the vein of Tuesday's post, I offer this quotation from For the Children's Sake by Susan Schaeffer Macaulay:

“Bad habits make slaves of those who have them. But good habits are like tracks along which our usual behavior runs. This frees us to concentrate on the important choices we have to make in life.”

With it, I propose a challenge for the new year:

Take five minutes or so to reflect on your own bad habits and few minutes for each of your children. Pray that God would open your eyes to faults you might be blind to. Take a sheet of paper for yourself and one for each child. Make two vertical columns. In the left-hand column of each page, write down the bad habits you have noticed. If any of these habits has led to sin, seek repentance. (If it is one of your child's habits, pray for them, and if they are of the age of reason and are receiving the Sacraments, encourage them to make a good Confession and ask for God's graceto uproot this habit.)

Next comes the fun part--at lest, I think it's fun. In the right-hand column of your page, write down a corresponding good habit that might help you in weeding out each of the bad ones. For example, one of my bad habits is venting my anger or other strong emotions to others. I'm not talking about sharing when I really need to. I'm talking about a knee-jerk reaction habit of spilling my guts out to someone the second my blood pressure getsto high or I'm in a bad mood. This causes others to have to unnecessarily bear my misfortunes and can lead to gossip. So, in the right-hand column, I might write, "Go to God first: take three minutes to pray when I'm feeling upset rather than venting to someone else."

* The Bookworm's Library has been updated: Mary, Mother of the Son, Volume II: First Guardian of the Faith by Mark Shea

The Feast of St. Agnes - January 21st

"Eve of St. Agnes" by Millais, based upon the poem by John Keats

Agnes was a Roman teenager who became a virgin martyr of the early Church. Her life, though short, is one full of inspiration, especially in our culture which looks down upon virginity and chastity.

At a very young age, Agnes consecrated herself to God and took up the mantle of lifelong virginity. However, when she was thirteen, her parents contrived to give her in marriage to a pagan--and not just any pagan: Procop, the Governor's son. Refusing to break her vow of virginity, Agnes declared passionately, "Jesus Christ is my only spouse!"

Procop, however, wouldn't take no for an answer. He tried to win his betrothed over with rich gifts and fervent promises, but Agnes would not be moved.

"I am already promised to the Lord of the Universe," she told him. "He is more splendid than the sun and the stars, and He has said that He will never leave me!"

Finally, Procop became angry and accused Agnes of being a Christian before his father. The Governor had Agnes tried, and she was convicted, put in chains, and finally when she refused to be bribed or coerced to renounce her faith, she was sentenced to death. It is said that even the pagans cried to see so beautiful and sweet a girl going to her death and that Agnes' face shown like a bride on her wedding day as she was led to execution. To those who begged her at the last to save herself, she responded, "I would offend my spouse if I were to try to please you. He chose me first, and He shall have me!"

Agnes' feastday is celebrated on January 21st. She is the patron of betrothed couples, chastity, the Children of Mary, gardeners, Girl Scouts, girls, rape victims, and virgins.

Many traditions and superstitions have grown up around St. Agnes's feast that have to do with girls divining who their future husband will be. For example, in one corner of the world, it is said that if an unmarried girl eats a hard-boiled egg whole--shell and all!--she'll see an image of her future husband in the mirror when she brushes her hair that night. While Christians are forbidden from engaging in fortune-telling and magic, it is absolutely appropriate for a young girl to dream about and especially to pray for her husband. Rather than downing an egg, you might encourage your daughters (and sons!) to say a prayer for their future spouses--whether that spouse be a person or, as was the case with St. Agnes, the God of the Universe Himself.

St. Agnes's feast is also a wonderful opportunity to pray for vocations to the priesthood and religious life and to talk about the consecrated religious life with your children.

If you have teenagers, you might also like to open things up for a discussion on virginity, chastity, and related subjects like religious vocations and dating, once the younger children are in bed--no holds barred. Trust me, they have questions! Truly, it is a blessing and a privelege if you can be the one to give them the answers. If you don't know, write their questions down and consult your Catechism or your parish priest at the earliest opportunity.

Finally, as St. Agnes symbol is a lamb (her name comes from the Latin agnus, meaning "lamb"), you might want to consider making a lamb craft or trying one of these recipes from Catholic Cuisine for a lamb-themed treat.

Laying the Rails

“We have lost sight of the fact that habit is to life what rails are to transport cars. It follows that lines of habit must be laid down towards given ends and after careful survey, or the joltings and delays of life become unsupportable. More, habit is inevitable. If we fail to ease life by laying down habits of right thinking and right acting, habits of wrong thinking and wrong acting fix themselves of their own accord.”

~ Charlotte Mason

A couple of weeks ago, I had one of those "Aha!" moments that we parenting types sometimes have. I realized that, through the sheer amount of time that I am at home with my daughter, I am having a greater impact on the formation of her character than anyone else.

Maybe that seems like it should be obvious. In a cerebral sort of way, it was; I always knew it to be true on an intellectual level. But, my "Aha!" moment came when it hit me in a very concrete way that made me sit up and think, "Wow! I doing something huge here."


The incident, like my epiphany, may seem rather unremarkable. My daughter and son were playing on the floor with some Leggos (Duplos), and Sophia decided she just had to have the one and only Leggo that James was chewing on. She snatched it out of his little hand, and he began to cry and reached for it, but she turned away from him. If I hadn't been sitting right there, reading a book while I watched them play, I would never have noticed it. In a busy daycare or preschool, I doubt anyone would have noticed it, either.

Since I was there, I couldn't very well let it slide. I ordered Sophia to give the Leggo back to her brother. Well, then my little willful two-year-old dissolved into a fit of tears herself. I held her until she calmed down, and then I told her again to give the Leggo to James. More tears, more holding. Another command. More tears. In desperation, I tried to explain to my blubbering toddler that while the Leggos were hers (a fact she kept reminding me of through her tears), it is important to share things with other people so that they know we love them.

Suddenly, her tears stopped, and her face lit up. She rushed over to James and set the Leggo down in front of him and then gave him a big hug. Which brings me to epiphany number 2: children really do understand more than we give them credit for!

All of this was, of course, about much more than making sure my daughter gave back that particular toy to her brother in that particular instance. I was able to go beyond that, to explain to her why we share, how it is one way we can and should show love to others and, through others, to God. I was ableto do this not because I'm a superb parent but simply because I was there. When you add it all up, it's the everyday, ordinary lessons that build a character.

My daughter is far from perfect, and I know that no number of morality lessons is going to make her so. Still, every little bit helps, and by the grace of God, I trust that she will continue to grow in righteousness. We have not had a struggle with or tears over sharing since this incident...at least not yet!

I say all of this not to guilt mothers who cannot be at home with their children nor to set myself up as some sort of paragon--in the words of Jo March, "I am hopelessly flawed!" Rather, I offer this anecdote as an encouragement to all parents to really be present with their children as muchas they are able and to be active always in the formation of their characters--for this is our God-given privelege and duty!

I also offer it as a caution. Remember that by example, instruction, and even ommission, those who spend time with our children are indeed forming their characters. If you are the one spending the bulk of your child's day with him, this should be humbling and spur you on to run the race well (1 Corinthians 9:24-26). If you must entrust your children to someone else or you place them in the company of peers or friends for the majority of their day, then be selective and thoughtful in who these other caretakers and companions are.

As Charlotte Mason said, it is the little things, the every day habits, that form a character and define a life.

* The Bookworm's Library has been updated: Advent and Christmas Wisdom from Henri J.M. Nouwen

Healing After Abortion

In Ramah is heard the sound of moaning,
of bitter weeping!
Rachel mourns her children,
she refuses to be consoled
because her children are no more.

Thus says the LORD:
Cease your cries of mourning,
wipe the tears from your eyes.
The sorrow you have shown shall have its reward...
There is hope for your future.

- Jeremiah 31:15-1

There is hope after abortion. If you or someone you know is suffering from the after effects of having participated in an abortion, please contact Project Rachel, the Catholic Church's healing ministry to those who have been involved in abortion. Project Rachel is open to people, men and women, of every creed.

Yes, even after abortion, there is healing, love, and abundant mercy.

The Gift That Keeps on Giving

Cookbooks are one of those wonderful gifts that just seem to get appreciated more and more in the weeks and months and years after the wrapping paper has long since been thrown away. This Christmas, I received a whimsical cookbook from my dear friend, Caitlin, with some of the most creative recipes I have ever seen for afternoon tea.

After proverbially devouring the cookbook visually and reading it through, I finally decided to try one of the recipes out. My first attempt was these Chocolate-Filled Almond Biscuits (cookies). They were astonishingly easy to make, even with a baby on my hip, and they looked beautiful laid out on a little platter when Brian got home from work.

We enjoyed them tremendously, and I can't wait to try another recipe soon! Thanks, again, Caitlin!

I recommend Afternoon Tea by Susannah Blake to anyone who loves tea, treats, baking, or just some delightful visual eye candy. The measurements are imperial (I believe the author is Canadian), but there are conversion tables in the back that make it simple to adjust the recipes for American readers.

"We Hold These Truths to Be Self-Evident"

“The common outcry, which is justly made on behalf of human rights—for example, the right to health, to home, to work, to family, to culture—is false and illusory if the right to life, the most basic and fundamental right and condition for all other personal rights, is not defended with maximum determination.”

~ Pope John Paul II, Christifideles Laici 38

I am an idealist. I believe that Americans want to live up to the words that are written on our Declaration of Independence and engraved upon our Statue of Liberty. I believe that we want to protect the helpless, the poor, and the oppressed. I believe that we want to give a voice to the silenced and defend the cause of the weak. There is something unique about Americans' devotion to the underdog and gutteral conviction that all human beings are created equal and have inalienable rights.

I believe that Americans will move heaven and earth to defend the dignity of each and every human person. The trouble is, we have started to forget, as a nation, who is human and where that innate dignity comes from.

There are too many voices out there shouting that we are nothing more than sophisticated animals or--worse--flesh-enrobed Eliza machines. The idea that human life is sacred because it was created Imago Dei has become quaint to many ears, and though it is utterly true, it rings false to those who refuse to listen. And with today's rhetoric, who can blame so many Americans for failing to understand that the nascient life in a woman's womb is a unique person with his or her own inalienable rights?

I do not think Americans are heartless or even that most of us are godless. On the contrary, I think most Americans have very big hearts and all human beings have a longing in their soul for God. I think we are simply misguided and misinformed. I believe that if we could help our fellow countrymen and women to understand the value of a human life and the fact that even a very small, very young human being truly is human, there would be an outcry against abortion in our country, a rejection of the Culture of Death we have built for ourselves, and a loving, passionate embracing of LIFE.

A Mother's Sanctification

"But we all, with unveiled face beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as from the Lord, the Spirit."
- 2 Corinthians 3:18

James is what has been termed a High Need Baby. He doesn't sleep for more than an hour at a time. Ever. He needs to nurse every two hours. He has little to no interest in solid food and only wants to be breastfed. When he is awake, he rarely will tolerate being set down. Since I have another young child, a home to take care of, a husband to love on, and only two hands, I don't have the luxury of indulging all of James's needs exactly when he wants them. So, that means our little Mister spends a greater amount of time crying each day than anyone in our household would like.

When I tell people these things, I wonder if they pity me. I wonder if they worry for my sanity or my health. Do they think that I will spoil him? Do they worry that, because I say these things, I do not love my son or I wish he was different?

Sometimes, I do feel worn to the bone, poured out completely, and meanwhile James is still screaming for more, more of me. Always me. He is a Mama's boy through and through, as High Need babies are. Sometimes, I beg God to let him sleep for just a few hours, for just a few minutes, for some peace. Sometimes, yes, I wish he was different, and I used to pray for this. But, in the past month or so, I have learned to change my prayer.

I have come to the realization that James is probably not going to change, at least not anytime soon. This is not because I don't believe God has the power to help my son sleep through the night; I'm sure He does. Rather, I am beginning to understand that God chose to make my son exactly as he is: needy and snuggly and intense and squirmy and sleepless. I love my son. I love him just as God made him, and this means I have needed to change how I pray.

My prayer now is God, thank you for the gift of my son. Help me to be truly and completely grateful for every day you give us together. Help me to be a good mother to him. Grant that whatever rest I receive will be enough to give me the strength I need to care for my family. Use my son to sanctify me. Help me to serve this little one as I would serve You. Take this sacrifice of myself, and teach me holiness.

Slowly, slowly, I am experiencing grace under fire.

Will I go out of my way to keep my body in shape and better nourished than I wouldotherwise have to to meet my son's needs? Can I smile as I pop him into the sling again while I make dinner, even though my back is killing me and I've been holding him all day? Will I sacrifice this opportunity or that night out with friends to ensure that James will have the comfort of my arms, my devoted nearness without which he seems totally lost? Can I keep myself from screaming back at him while he wails and wails and nothing I do helps at all?

It is humbling how often I fail, and I have had to ask everyone I know for forgiveness of my temper, my forgetfulness, my lateness since James was born. Often, I have to ask James for forgiveness. He doesn't say anything, but I like to think that he understands my contrite heart and the yearning I have to be a better mother for him, every moment of every day.

I stop for a moment, when the house is still and I am alone, and I think how gracious a God I serve that He would choose to sanctify me through service to my sweet, sweet, screaming, sleepless son. There are worse ways to learn holiness.

I AM Testimony

Below is the talk (or "proclaim" as we call them in LIFE Teen speak) I gave at our LIFE Night (youth group) tonight. I don't really know why I'm sharing it here except that it's what I've been working on and what's been on my mind for the past couple of weeks. Enjoy it. Maybe share it with a teen you know.

Our theme tonight was "I AM" and the way Jesus identifies Himself in the Gospel of John. The night began with one of our Core members asking the teens how they would finish the statement "I Am." Then, he talked about how Jesus finishes the statement and the significance of Jesus using the phrase "I am," which was actually the very name of God. (Remember Moses and the burning bush? "I am Who am.")

Next, another of our Core members talked about his "hidden identity" as an epileptic and the journey he walked from denial of how God created him into an acceptance that brought the love of God pouring out into his life.

We took some time in small groups to ask our teens some questions.

• How do you finish the statement "I am_____________"?
• If this aspect of you were taken away, who would you be underneath?
• Have you ever had an experience that changed who you were or how you viewed yourself?
• Is Christ the center of your identity? Or, a part of your identity? If He is, what does that mean and what does it look like in your life? What does it mean for you if He isn't?

And, then came my talk. And, here it is:

When I was in high school, I was really confident about who I was. I had amazing parents who had blessed me with good self esteem. I liked school, and I got good grades. I was a talented actress. I went to a school for the arts, so that was actually cool, unlike in some high schools. I’d known that I wanted to be an actor since I was three years old and that is, in fact, what I went to college to study at a competitive conservatory. Although nearly all my friends drank and used drugs—I mean, I was a theater student, come on—I was perfectly confident in my choice not to do those things, and my friends respected my decision, mainly because they knew it wouldn’t do any good to argue with me. I knew who I was and what I wanted. I was not going to let anyone, not even my friends define me.

When I went away to college, I expected to grow, have some new experiences, but I didn’t expect to change much. I certainly wasn’t looking to change. Unlike most of my peers, I didn’t feel like I needed to “find myself.” But my freshman year, something did happen that changed me completely and totally redefined who I was. I got to know Jesus.
I know some people talk about conversion moments, the day they “came to Christ.” But, my experience wasn’t like that. It was gradual and rational. I was a student of comparative religions (how did I find time to do that with my insanely busy theater conservatory training schedule? I don’t know) and I had a very reasoned journey to faith. Because this change happened so gradually, I didn’t really notice the changes in myself. But, when I came home for the summer, my friends and family certainly noticed. Especially my mother.
My mom had a really hard time with it. That year at school was when I had met my husband Brian, who was a committed Christian, and we started dating. My mother blamed the changes she saw in me on him. She thought that I was changing so that he would like me or approve of me, which seemed like an odd accusation, since I had never changed myself to make anyone like me before. And even though the changes in me were all positive, my mom felt threatened by them. She wanted me back the way that I was. But, I kept telling her, “This is who I am.” That was probably the most surreal part of the whole experience of my conversion. Looking back now, I am only just beginning to realize how much I’ve changed, but I didn’t change into a new person, I became more who I always was—it’s just that God knew me better than I knew myself. I didn’t know myself until I found myself in Christ. The more I followed Him, the more I found out who I was, what I was made for, what I truly wanted in life.
I had had all these plans for myself. I was confident that I knew what I wanted. But, God had better plans for me. He knew better. And, when I started to live in Him and for Him, I started letting Him rewrite my plans, rewrite my life, I discovered that His plans are so much better than what I’d had planned.
I never expected to marry when I was twenty-one. If you’d told me that in high school, I would have said you were nuts. I wasn’t planning to get married until much later. I wanted to go to New York and act on Broadway. I didn’t even think I wanted kids, and now I can’t imagine having a truly joyful life without my two beautiful children. I truly had never wanted these things. Now I know that they are the things I had always truly wanted more than anything, but I never saw it until I found myself in Christ. God might have totally different plans for your life; it might look nothing like mine, but believe me, He has plans.
More important than what I’ve done, though, is who I have become in Him. I am a daughter of God. I am a Christian. That is who I am. It’s who I was created to be. I just didn’t know it until I got to know Jesus.
We’ve been spending a lot of time tonight talking about who we are. How we see ourselves, maybe how others see us. Kyle talked about how Jesus finishes the “I Am” statement. Did you notice, when he went through those verses, that there is something that comes after each of those “I Am” statements?
I am the Bread of Life -- "He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty.”
I am the Light of the World – "Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life."
I am the Gate – “whoever enters through me will be saved."
But, what does that mean for us? It means that because of who Christ IS, we have choices to make. Each of the identities that Jesus claims for Himself demands a response from us. Will we eat the bread of life, or not? Will we follow Him from darkness into light, or won’t we? Will we enter through Him and be saved, or will we stay on the other side of the Gate? He also gives us a promise with each identity. We will never go hungry. We will never be thirsty. We will have the light of life. We will be saved. Not because we deserve it, not because of anything we’ve done, but because of who He is and because of who we can be IN HIM.
In Ephesians 2, St. Paul begins by talking about who we are without Christ. It’s not very pretty. He says, “As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins…” All these labels, all these accomplishments—this isn’t who we are. St. Paul tells us that without Christ, we are dead. We’re nothing. All this other stuff doesn’t matter. What’s a dead guy going to do with popularity? Or a 4.0 GPA? Or a basketball trophy? Nothing. None of those things are bad things—they’re good things—but they’re nothing without Christ. The good news is that we were created to be alive—and to have life abundantly. That’s what Jesus came for. John 10:10 says, “I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”
Back to Ephesians, Chapter 2: St. Paul goes on to tell the Ephesians who they really are. “For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do” (v. 10).
God created us in Christ Jesus. That’s who we are. When we deny that, when we try to be something else or live for something else, we are going against our very nature. We can’t say, “Oh, I’m just not a religious person; that’s not who I am” or “That Jesus stuff isn’t really me.” Trust me, that Jesus stuff is you. That’s how you were created; it’s your very nature. By knowing Him, you come to know yourself as you truly are, as you were created to be. It might look very different from what you expected or who you thought you were, but it’s the truth.
When you eat the bread of life, you satisfy a hunger that you maybe didn’t even realize was there—with food so amazing you didn’t even know it existed. When you see the Light of the World, it’s like a blind person seeing for the first time. The colors were always there, but you never knew what they were before, let alone how beautiful they are. But, there’s only one way to find out who we are. And, that’s to know and follow Him. Jesus told us, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”
If you want to find out who you are—if you want the truth—if you want to live and have life abundantly, you have to respond. You have to respond to Who Jesus is. You have to follow the Way. You have to eat the Bread. You have to seek the Light. You have to open the Gate. And, if you already know Jesus, the true vine, you have to remain in Him.
“I am the Resurrection. He who believes in me will live even though he dies.” The choice is yours. Who are you?

After this, we ended the night with a time of prayer and reflection while my husband and I sang "Who Am I?" by Casting Crowns. Our youth leader closed us all in a beautiful prayer, thanking God for the young men and women gathered together in our midst who were each uniquely created in His image, and pleading that they all hear the call to find out who He is and who they can be in Him.

All in all, a stellar LIFE Night. God bless all our teens--and yours!

Have We Forgotten?

 

“The highest glory of the American Revolution was this: It connected in one indissoluble bond the principles of civil government with the principles of Christianity.”

– John Quincy Adams

Created to Be His Help Meet by Debi Pearl: A Review

My three-star Amazon review for this book was titled "Some fantastic insights...and some stupendous errors," and that is basically my take on this highly controversial but (at least for me) extremely enjoyable book.

The three stars are, perhaps, misleading, as I do not feel that Created to Be His Help Meet is somehow "moderate." There are chapters and sections that I wanted to give five stars to and others that I wanted to give one or zero stars, or perhaps a blinking red star that screamed, "Run away! Run away!" This book is anything but moderate. It's a dynamite. Love it or hate it, it is provocative, and it gets you asking some important questions. I vehemently disagree with some of Mrs. Pearl's theology. I abhor some of the things she suggests in this book. Nevertheless, I believe that my marriage and my walk with Christ are better for having read it, because Mrs. Pearl also espouses some truths that I have not heard phrased so well anywhere else before. Therefore, I cannot do otherwise than recommend this book...with a caveat.

If you are the sort of reader who swallows whatever is spoonfed to you by an author (don't be embarassed about it, just be honest and choose your reading material wisely), then please steer clear of this one--you likely won't pick up on the flaws and errors and might become seriously misguided. However, if you are a self-confident, thoughtful reader steeped in a knowledge of God's Holy Word and Sacred Tradition, then please pick this up and give it a good once (or twice!) over.

Some personal thoughts on Created to be His Help Meet:

• I like Mrs. Pearl's summaries and questions at the end of each chapter. In many books I've read, these sections can be redundant and patronizing, but I found the ones in this book to be insightful and challenging.
  
• If you read nothing else in this book, it's worth buying it to read Chapter 8 on the "Three Types of Men." Truthfully, the material in this chapter is mainly the work of Mrs. Pearl's daughter, Rebekah Anast. I was so impressed with this chapter that I have resolved to give photocopies of it to every woman I know who is engaged to be married.
  
• Get ready to swallow your pride. Okay, I don't agree with all of Mrs. Pearl's assertions about women, and I don't recommend that you should, either. However, I think you will find as you read that, like me, your initial rejection of some of her ideas may stem from a knee-jerk reaction of pride more than anything else. Even where I disagreed with Mrs. Pearl, I found myself challenged to examine why I disagreed with her, and I feel that this really helped me to grow in humility and in cultivating a "quiet and gentle spirit."
  
• Mrs. Pearl is not a Catholic. So, naturally, I disagree with her on certain matters of theology, such as her devotion to the King James Version of the Bible. However, I believe that great truths are espoused from all sects of the Christian faith--and from many other faiths, come to that, and I'd rather separate the wheat from the chaff than throw out the baby with the bathwater. Just be sure as you read to keep your Bible (KJV or otherwise) and Catechism close at hand.
  
• Mrs. Pearl is a "marriage mandater," which means she believes that all women (and men, for that matter) are designed by God to be in a matrimonial state, and marriage is, in her view, the highest earthly calling of humanity. This is not what the Church teaches. For while marriage is held in the immense esteem by the Church, She does not assert that all will be called to this vocation, and indeed, She maintains with St. Paul that the chaste religious life is a vocation even higher than that of marriage (1 Corinthians 7, Catechism of the Catholic Church 916). We must all listen to God's call to us personally in our own lives. Keeping this in mind will be an important grain of salt with which to take Created to Be His Help Meet.
  
• Before reading this book, I recommend reading Pope John Paul II's Mulieris Dignitatem (On the Dignity of Women) and Pope Paul VI's Humane Vitae (In Defense of Human Life). Mrs. Pearl seems to have a skewed theology of the human person, and a firm grounding in the Church's teaching on the dignity of the human person is a must before delving into what she has to say. This should help to balance out any of the dangerous inaccuracies espoused in Created to Be His Help Meet.

An Epiphany Party: Because Christmas Isn't Over Yet!

"Adoration of the Magi" by Giotto

This year, we are starting a new tradition: an Epiphany party! I admit it, I stole the idea from Catherine and Peter Fournier's book, but hey, that's what the book was written for, right?

The festivities will begin around 3:30 or 4:00, when our kiddos are up from their naps, with moms and children gathering to hang out, sip tea and hot cocoa, and enjoy a little storytime. We'll be reading Baboushka and the Three Kings by Ruth Robbins and Nicolas Sidjakov and We Three Kings by Gennady Spirin, which Sophia and James will be receiving as presents in the morning. When the children in our group are older, we'll have crafts, as well. I'm looking forward to decorating crowns and other fun things.

The menfolk will be joining us after work for a potluck and some Christmas carolling--just in our living room, not the door-to-door kind. Here is a list of Epiphany carols, if you'd like to do your own sing-along:

• "The First Noel"
• "We Three Kings"
• "What Child Is This?"
• "O Come All Ye Faithful"/"Adeste Fideles"
• "Ding Dong! Merrily on High"
• "The Twelve Days of Christmas"
• "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen"

And, of course, no Epiphany celebration is complete without an Epiphany Cake! Many cultures have a special King Cake with which to celebrate, such as this one, which hails from New Orleans or the French Galette des Rois. We will be hiding a dried bean inside of this scrumptious-looking Pecan-Spice Cake. The Pecans will symbolize the treasure that the magi brought to the Christ child, and the spices are to represent the exotic Eastern lands from which they travelled, as well as their fragrant gifts of myrrh and frankincense. The bean is essential. Whoever finds it in their slice of cake will be hosting the party next year! We'll just have to be careful that none of the children eat it!

As the night winds down, we'll pass out pieces of chalk to each family with instructions for a Home Blessing service. It is traditional to invoke God's blessing on the family's home on Epiphany by marking the door frame with the year and the initials of the Magi's names (Caspar, Melchior, and Bathlazar) like this: 20 + C +M + B + 10. CMB can also stand for Christus Mansionem Benedicat, which translates "Christ bless this house."

How will you be celebrating?

Be Wary of Fashionable Thought

"The use of Fashions in thought is to distract the attention of men from their real dangers. We [the forces of evil] direct the fashionable outcry of each generation against those vices of which it is least in danger and fix its approval on the virtue nearest to that vice which we are trying to make endemic. The game is to have them all running about with fire extinguishers whenever there is a flood, and all crowding to the side of the boat which is already nearly gunwale under. Thus we make it fashionable to expose the dangers of enthusiasm at the very moment when they are all really beoming worldly and lukewarm; a century later, when we are really making them all Byronic and drunk with emotion, the fashionable outcry is directed against the dangers of the mere 'understand'. Cruel ages are put on guard against sentimentality, feckless and idle ones against Respectability, lecherous ones against Puritanism; and whenever all men are really hastening to be slaves or tyrants we make Liberalism the prime bogey."

- C.S. Lewis, The Screwtape Letters

Take some time to reflect on the "Fashions of thought" in your neck of the woods, your culture or subculture or counter-culture. Do not take them for granted. Hold them up to the light of Christ and see how well they fare. Even those things that are vitues might be blown out of proportion or bent out of joint to suit the Fashion.

True wisdom is not subject to Fashion, nor does it change with the times--for it is as timeless as God Himself, and it is the fear of Him which is its beginning (Proverbs 1:7).

Reflecting on the Springtime

It is the dawn of a new year--a new decade, even--and new beginnings are on the horizon and on everyone's thoughts. This became all the more poingnant for me even before midnight struck here on the West Coast when my best friend called me from Niagara Falls (it was already midnight there) to tell me she'd just gotten engaged!

As I look ahead to her wedding in the spring of 2011, I cannot help looking back, as well. Was it really only five years ago that Brian asked me to be his wife? I remember every moment of that magical, utterly surprising evening. The sound of my husband's voice, back before he was my husband, singing me the song he had written for me. The way the candlelight and streetlamps shimmered on the diamond ring in the black velvet box in his hand. The tiny crepe cafe in Santa Monica where we went to eat afterwards. The way my cheeks hurt from smiling for hours. The way my hands shook as I dialed friends and family to tell them the exciting news. How new and foreign and perfect that ring felt on my finger when he slipped it on for the first time that spring evening.

There is a particular beauty in being at the spring of everything. I remember reflecting earlier this year that I have strolled beyond my own springtime. A few years ago, everything was out "there" somewhere, waiting for me to reach out and take it--college, my first job, engagement, my wedding, my first child, my second. Life was full of dawn and giddy anticipation. Now I am a wife and mother of two. The honeymoon is long since over, but marriage grows sweeter still with time. The ring on my finger has been joined by another and neither one feels strange, but they are both still perfect, and now they feel so right. Now I do not necessarily notice their presence, but I feel naked at their absence. They are a part of me.

The rosy anticipation of spring has swelled to the bright business of summertime. Sometimes it is hard not to look back with nostalgic longing on the freshness and relative peacefulness of those days past--would I ever have realized then just how fresh and peaceful? Then, I feel my little girl's hand in mine. I hear my infant son crying ferociously for his mama. I fall into bed beside my husband at the end of a long day. It is good, oh so good, and while I remember with joy, I would never choose to go back.

Summer may not seem as romantic as the springtime, but oh, it is beautiful--beautiful! I have the feeling that the same will be true of autumn and winter. And, isn't that the way with the year, where season gives way to season and we find that each is more beautiful than the last, in its own way, even if we do continue to look fondly back upon the springtime--and forward. Because even in the summer, there is always the promise of another spring.

Congratulations, Meghan! Enjoy every moment of this, your spring, and may your summer be as glorious as the one I'm relishing now! Blessings and love, sweet friend, sister of my heart.

10 for '10

“Marie Kroyer” by Peder S. Kroyer

I realize that what I have here is a rather ambitious list. I won't be starting out by doing all these things on January first when I wake up. These are goals for the year. I will be slowly implementing them one by one (a few I have already begun). Trying to do too much at once will only ensure that none of it gets done, but these are my goals for 2010, and by the grace of God, next year I will be able to come up with all new resolutions because (hopefully) these will all be a part of my regular routine by then.

1. Commit to a having a Holy Hour twice a month.

My parish does not currently have perpetual adoration, though this is a dream very close to our pastor’s heart. Currently, we do have day-long adoration every Thursday. Brian feels it would be best for me to begin by making this a personal practice for the time being, but in the future, I’m hoping to become one of the regular adorers for our parish, helping to make Fr. Nagel’s dream become a reality in our parish!

2. Establish a price book, and maintain it throughout the year.

In her book Family Feasts for $75 a Week, Mary Ostyn describes her system of using a price book to determine which groceries are actually cheapest at which stores and in which brands (or non-brands, as the case may be). Why, with my off-the-Meyers-Briggs-charts “J” score have I never thought of this? I don’t know, but I’m planning to implement Mary’s brilliant advice without further adieu.

3. Pray the Divine Hours daily (Morning and Evening Prayers and Office of Readings).

Brian and I follow the traditional Anglo-Saxon anniversary gift list. Each year, instead of buying each other gifts for our anniversary, we purchase a gift together from the “category” for that anniversary that will benefit our marriage or our family. This year, we had our fourth anniversary, and the traditional gift is “books." So, we purchased a set of the Liturgy of the Hours. We already pray the vespers each evening, but I would really like to start saying lauds (Morning Prayer) and doing (matins) the Office of Readings each day, as well.

4. Recite the Divine Mercy Chaplet every Friday at 3 PM.

Believe it or not, I only just learned about this beautiful devotion, and I am very much looking forward to incorporating it into my spiritual rhythm.

5. Grow a green thumb!

We don't have a yard; just two cement balconies--one facing north, and one facing west. Yeah. This year, we planted two rose bushes, and one did very well; the other did not. This year, I want to plant a windowbox herb garden that can be brought inside (at least partially) during the winter, and some sort of fruit or veggie plant. Wish me luck, and if you feel so led, send me seeds!

6. Go jogging every other morning for at least 30 minutes.

I began this resolution back in October, and apart from a small hiccup just before Christmas, I have been keeping it well. I hope to continue it throughout the coming year, really cementing it as a regular habit for my physical health. Of course, if we are blessed with a pregnancy in 2010, it will have to be amended to “walking.”

7. Arrange at least one get-together weekly with a sister in Christ (by phone, if necessary).

Over the past year, I have realized in a new way just how important these sisters can be in my journey to Heaven through this “valley of tears.” I realize that it is essential for me to intentionally invest in nurturing these friendships, including some new ones that the Lord has blessed me with this past year and which are just beginning to bud. Not only will I commit to investing my time in them, I want to commit to praying for them on a more regular basis.

8. Arrange at least one playdate for Sophia weekly.

Preferably this may be done in conjunction with Resolution #7.

9. Complete at least two sewing projects.

Last year, my dear friend Elizabeth found a sewing machine abandoned next to the trash outside her apartment building. She rescued it, took it inside, and cleaned it up. Remembering that I had said I would dearly love to learn how to sew, she presented it to me, along with a photocopy of her own instruction manual—Providentially, the machine she found was the exact same model as her own sewing machine, so the instructions were interchangeable! I cannot describe to you my joy at the serendipity and generosity that this machine represented. Unfortunately, being the chicken that I am, I have yet to actually use it because—gasp!—that would require planning and initiative, a trip to the library to find some patterns and—horror!—a modest investment in some fabric! But, no more! This year, I am putting Elizabeth’s Providential find to good use. Any suggestions for easy projects to get my feet wet would be most appreciated.

10. Plan one intentional project/outing/educational activity with the kids at least two days a week.

Can I just come out and say this: I’m not a “little kid person.” Don’t get me wrong—I adore my children, and I love babies and toddlers, but I just don’t know what to do with them. There’s a reason I volunteer in the youth group at our parish and not in the nursery. Nevertheless, I know that God has entrusted these dear souls to me to nurture and bless, and I am resolved to be more intentional in that calling this year. I do try to involve James and Sophia in whatever I am doing, and I am rarely apart from them. They “help” me with my tasks around the house; we read many books and spend countless hours each week cuddling, playing, and tickling. But, I want to start doing things for them and not merely with them. Since this sort of thing does not come to me naturally, it’s something I’m going to have to be intentional about. Suggestions would, again, be a welcome blessing!

What are your 10 for ’10? Join the fun by putting your name and linking to your post with the Mr. Linky tool below! I can’t wait to see your resolutions for this brand new year!

Oh, and a blessed Solemnity of Mary, Mother of God to all my Catholic readers! (Don’t forget to go to Mass!!