Score!

Warning: Not appropriate for young readers.

So, awhile back, I wrote a post which asked the vital question, "Where's the married sex?" By this, I meant that, in Hollywood movies, you almost never see marriage portrayed as sexy. When it's portrayed at all, it's usually a honeymoon or (for those movies that begin with a marriage rather than ending with a wedding) a desolate, barren, ball-and-chain trap. Even if a happy marriage does find it's way into a Hollywood film, it's usually portrayed as a sort of "deep but largely platonic" sort of love, as in the kind you might hope your grandparents have. Loving, devoted, but not sexy. All the steamy love-making is traditionally kept between the deeply "in love" but distinctly unwed, bonus points if the couple "shouldn't" be together in the first place.

I mentioned in the original post that one of the rare exceptions to this rule was The Painted Veil, starring Edward Norton and Naomi Watts, one of my all-time favorite movies. Interestingly, the passionate love scene between the once-estranged married pair in this movie was not in the original book. It was added for the film. Score one for Hollywood!

Score two: Julie & Julia! Finally, after months of wanting to, I got to see this fabulous film. In addition to being hilarious and making me want to simultaneously read dense cookbooks, write a blog post, and delve into my kitchen cabinets at ten o'clock at night, it struck a special cord in my heart because of the wonderful way that marriage is portrayed in both *true life* couples--devoted and loving, yes, but also passionate and definitely very sexy, all while earning a PG-13 rating.

Hooray for Hollywood! I'm hoping this is a new trend. I hope it will remind the world that:

1. Marriage is what happens during all those years after the wedding day.
2. Falling in love, while glorious, pales in comparison to the joys of choosing to love and staying the course of life with your spouse.
3. Married sex can be totally hot! (Note to married couples: If this isn't true for you, check out Julie & Julia...and send the kids to bed early.)

Oh, and can I just take a brief moment to say to my darling husband via the "InterWeb":
As Paul Child once told Julia, and as Julie Powell once told her husband, Eric, "You are the butter to my bread and the breath to my life." Thank you for always supporting me and for just being incredible. I love you!


Cheesy I may be, but I could not be more sincere. Or more in love.

Making Memories from Mayhem on a Rainy Day

I had two hours this morning before I needed to get ready to leave for a pediatrician appointment. I had nothing I needed to do as far as housework is concerned, so I decided to can four pint jars of Meyer lemon curd. Meyer lemons have been a fantastic deal at our local wholesale club for weeks, and I found an unbeatable steal on eggs, so I had both waiting for me in the fridge.

What seemed like a relatively low-stress, if time-consuming endeavor evolved temporarily into a complete fiasco. Something went abysmally wrong with my lemon curd recipe and it simply wouldn’t gel. Ten minutes before I needed to get the children ready to go, I had a bowlful of soupy lemon-egg mixture and a hot water canner boiling away, ready to go. I switched off the canner, stuck the watery curd in the refrigerator and prayed with all my strength to keep my cool as I woke James up from his nap and headed for the car.

I won’t bore you with the details of how my energy and patience was progressively whittled away during a doctor’s appointment with shots and a hungry toddler who, despite eating moment before leaving the house, insisted that she was starving the entire time we were gone. Suffice it to say that many prayers were uttered, even kneeling on the floor of the pediatrician’s office while I waited for the doctor, and praise God I don’t think either of my children had any clue about my inward turmoil and the fact that I wanted to burst into tears and throw in the towel on the whole day.

Back at home, Sophia ate, James fussed, and I prayed some more, and somehow, somehow, I got that curd to gel, and I got it in jars, and I got the jars canned. It looks like all four pints have “popped",” though I wasn’t around to hear them since I was nursing one baby to sleep while reading another down for her nap two hours later than usual while the jars rested on the counter.

A word to the wise, don’t attempt to make lemon curd—or can anything—while home alone with a baby and a toddler. But, if you must, or if you’re simply a little foolhardy like me, be sure to pray your way on through, and keep in mind that making memories and preserving peace is more important than canning curd.

Winter's On the Wing

"The snowdrop and primrose our woodlands adorn, and violets bathe in the wet o' the morn."
- Robert Burns

For all that we get a bad rap about the rain, and while I do admit that the months of December and January can be abyssmally desolate, water-logged, and dark, I must say that there are few places on earth so glorious as Western Washington at the tail end of winter.

Brilliant green grass won by the months of late-autumn and gray-winter rain begs you to throw off your shoes and run barefoot on the chilly ground. Daffodils, tulips, hyacinths, and snowdrops awake from their long sleeps to stretches of clear blue sky that belong over plains, not mountains, and to the aching brilliance of bright sunshine. The snowcapped mountains, many miles southwest, can be seen in crisp clarity over the placid water of the lake as you cross from shore to shore, and everywhere, like auguries, the cherry trees bloom.

There are no words to describe how a line of spindly trees flecked sparsely at first and then robed in pink and white blossoms can transform even a gritty, noisy street into a corner of paradise.

The occassional gusts of icy wind that slice your face are the only reminders left to you that it is not yet spring. Not yet.

Apple Cider Mama's Honey Nut Granola

We use a couple different granola recipes in our home, but this one is the sweetest. We serve it over plain yogurt or doused in milk for breakfast.

Ingredients:
3/4 c. canola oil
1 c. honey
2 c. wheat germ
1 t. salt
4 t. vanilla extract
7 c. rolled oats (not quick-cooking)
3 c. chopped nuts
3 c. dried fruit (optional)

Directions:
Combine oil, honey, wheat germ, salt, and vanilla. Stir in oats and nuts. Spread on two jelly roll pans lined with parchment paper. Bake at 350F for 10 minutes. Remove and stir granola on pans. Replace in oven, switching positions of pans. Bake 8-10 more mintutes. Cool completely. Stir in dried fruit, if using. Can be stored 2 weeks in airtight container at room temperature.

The Charm in Housework

"Woman with a Milk Pitcher" by Johannes Vermeer 

Some inspiration for your Monday morning! Whether you're a full-time housewife or pull a double-shift as homemaker and out-of-the-home employee, remember that what we do to create home within the walls of our houses is truly a noble, glorious, and--if we choose to see it as such--enjoyable work, indeed.

“I have found that there is a romance in housework: and a charm in it; and whimsy and humor without end. I have found that the housewife works hard, of course—but likes it. Most people who amount to anything do work hard, at whatever their job happens to be. The housewife’s job is home-making, and she is, in fact, ‘making the best of it’; making the best of it by bringing patience and loving care to her work; sympathy and understanding to her family; making the best of it by seeing all the fun in the day’s incidents and human relationships.”

– Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings

* The Bookworm's Library has been updated: 401 Ways to Get Your Kids to Work at Home by Bonnie Runyan McCullough and Susan Walker Monson

Going It Alone

"Faith" by Arthur Hughes

I have received a great number of emails from wives who are considering the Catholic faith but whose husbands are either not interested or staunchly opposed to it. Knowing that I am a Catholic revert (someone who left the Church and came home to it in later life) with a non-Catholic husband, they turned to me to ask for advice. After many months of prayer and discussions with my husband, I have finally drafted my humble answer to all those heartfelt questions.

Before I begin, I just want to point out that I am writing from my own personal study and my own experiences. Three months into married life, I returned to the Catholic Church. My (non-Catholic) Christian husband was overwhelmed by this, and we have since been on a truly profound, challenging journey over the four years of our marriage. Sometimes God guided me in doing right by both the Church and my husband. More often, though, I really botched things. So, what I have to offer here comes straight from the humble and contrite heart of a sinner who nevertheless genuninely wants to serve her God and husband and was taught a few things along the way.

1. The first thing to remember, in contrast to the title of this post, is that YOU ARE NOT ALONE. I'm not talking about the "you're not alone because other wives have trod where you tread," however true that may also be. What I actually mean is that you are not alone because you are a wife. You have a husband. He may not be feeling led in the direction that you are, but he is there--your one-flesh joint heir of the grace of life (Genesis 3:29; 1 Peter 3:17)! Never forget who he is: your husband, your partner for life, the man that God made especially for you! Never forget who you are, either: his wife, his "help meet," his beloved, the woman made especially by God to love, honor, cherish and obey him (Ephesians 5:22-24).
   


2. YOUR SOUL IS AT STAKE. Before I explain that statement, let me say this: We are saved by grace (Ephesians 2:8). Period. Not faith. Not works. Not creed. Grace. God's unmeritted gift of grace. Phew. Okay, now that that's been said, can we move on and say that religion is still important, too? Well, it is. Very.
   
   In 1302, St. Boniface VIII wrote in his "Unum Sanctum,"
   
   

   "That there is one, holy, catholic and apostolic Church we are compelled by faith to believe and hold, and we firmly believe in her and sincerely confess her, outside of whom there is neither salvation nor remission of sins…. In her there is 'one Lord, one faith, one baptism'" (Ephesians 4:5).

   
   That said, the Church does teach that it may be possible for non-Catholics--and even non-Christians to go to Heaven. In Lumen Gentium, the Second Vatican Council wrote,
   
   

   "Those who, through no fault of their own, do not know the Gospel of Christ or His Church, but who nevertheless seek God with a sincere heart, and, moved by grace, try in their actions to do His will as they know it through the dictates of their conscience – those too may achieve eternal salvation."
   

   
   However, Vatican II went on to say in Ad Gentes Divinitus that "those cannot be saved, who knowing that the Catholic Church was founded through Jesus Christ, by God, as something necessary, still refuse to enter it or remain in it" (emphasis my own).
   
   If you are a fallen away Roman Catholic who is feeling drawn back to the Church or if you are a non-Catholic who feels convicted of the truth of the Church's authority in Jesus Christ, then you are morally compelled in the most serious terms to become a member of the Catholic Church and to follow her teachings.
   
   
   
3. WIFELY SUBMISSION. Aye, there's the rub. As much as many people would like to ignore it, God is very clear that a wife ought to be submissive to her husband in all matters (Ephesians 5:24, 44) except where the husband's will seriously and directly conflicts with the Will of God. This is a very fine line to tread. We women are often eager to "claim" the Will or Voice of God when, in truth, we are only following our own sensibilities or personal convictions. We must steep ourselves in the Word of God and in Sacred Tradition.
   
   If you feel that your husband is asking you to sin, you ought also to seek wise, doctrinally-sound counsel as to how to proceed and to discern whether, in fact, your husband actually is leading you into sin or just asking you to do something that you have decided is sinful. Speak to your parish priest or ask him to recommend a female spiritual counselor for you if you feel you would be more comfortable speaking with a woman. You must also weigh the severity of this sin. If my husband asks me to commit or turn a blind eye to a venial sin and the consequences of failing to submit to his authority would result in a much more grievous mortal sin, then I ought to obey him. If you are confused on these matters, seek spiritual counsel!
   
   Do not take for granted how important your wifely submission is! It is the Will of God that you submit to your husband. Remember this before you go around claiming that you know the Will of God and seeking to reject the Will He has already laid out in His Word.



4. Along these lines, it is vital to remember this: DO NOT USURP YOUR HUSBAND'S AUTHORITY. Scripture is very clear, and so is the Church's teaching. The husband is the head of the wife. This headship has no caveats. It does not hinge on whether your husband is a good guy, whether he is in a state of sin or grace, or whether he is saved. When St. Paul wrote to the Corinthian Church that "the head of every man is Christ, the head of a woman is her husband, and the head of Christ is God” (1 Corinthians 11:3), he knew that he was speaking to some people who had unbelieving spouses. He still said it. No holds barred, no strings attached. If you deny or reject this God-ordained order, you will be headed straight into sin and possibly for divorce--one of the most serious and virulent sins of our day!



5. PRAY. You are between a rock and a hard place. You feel called to join the true "one, holy, catholic and apostolic Church." You know that it is now vital that you do so. You also know that you have to yield to the authority of your husband. All too frequently, these needs may seem to be at bitter odds, possibly irreconcilable. So, what can you do? Pray. Pray. I'm going to say that again: Pray. If you take nothing else away from this post, take this: Pray.
   
   

   Matthew 9:26: "Jesus looked at them and said, 'With
   man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.'"

   Which brings us to my next point.
   
   
6. SEEK HIM, AND TRUST. Have faith that God can and will do what He has promised. It can be so easy to despair, to give in to anxiety, or to try to take control. But, remember what Jesus says in the Gospel of Matthew immediately after teaching his disciples how to pray: "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life...But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own" (Matthew 6:25, 33-34). Don't concern yourself with how you're going to convince your husband of this or that or what will happen if he says no or how it will all work out. Take God at His Word. Seek first His kingdom; pray, and trust.



7. CULTIVATE PATIENCE. Of course, I realize that what I've suggested may be just about the hardest thing ever proposed to you. It certainly was for me. So, cultivate patience. My priest likes to point out that "patience" comes from the Latin "patientia," which means "suffering or enduring without complaint." To be patient is to suffer. This sounds yucky and unpleasant, but a life of patience is exactly what Christ calls us to!
   
   Remember that all suffering in life has the capacity to work for our good. Unite your suffering to Christ's on the cross. Offer it up for the intentions of Jesus' Sacred Heart: the salvation of souls, the reparation for sin, and the reunion of all Christians. Remember that however much you might want to see these things in your own family, Jesus wants to see them so much more--in everyone's family! The world over! Trust me; He's already on it. Just unite your own sufferings to His, and be patient.



8. DON'T COMPLAIN. Remember, that we are not merely being called to suffering, but to "patientia"--to suffering without complaint. Don't nag. Don't pressure. Don't make your husband's life a living Hell because he won't come to Mass with you or refuses to let you enroll the kids in Catholic school.
   
   

   "Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of
   them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives" (1 Peter 3:1-2).
   

   
   Don't preach at your husband; it's not your place, and quite frankly, it won't do a lick of good. Above all, do not succumb to a bitter, complaining attitude. Find joy. Enjoy your husband. Win him over, not by manipulating him or brow-beating him with your edition of the Catechism but by being his devoted, loving, joyful wife. Pray for him; live for God. The rest is in Good Hands.



9. REMEMBER THAT YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S CHANGED. It can be so tempting to waste your time brooding over why your husband cannot see what you do in the Catholic Church. This is unconstructive and unfair. Remember that you're the one who has changed, not your husband. He's just going on being the same man who you married. Meanwhile, his wife has just up and changed her entire worldview, not to mention her spiritual allegiance! Be compassionate. The poor guy probably doesn't know what hit him. He may want to ignore your conversion. He may be angry about it. He may feel threatened by it. He is going to need time and space, not a daily argument over points of theology.
   
   Remember that he is still the man you promised to stand by for better or worse. Love him. Cherish him. Obey him. Let him know that you're still the woman he married--even if you do become a Catholic.



10. DO NOT COVET. Conveniently, in addition to being our tenth point, this is also the tenth commandment. So it should be easy to remember, even if it's not easy to implement. If you haven't gotten to the "covet" stage of your solo conversion yet, you probably will hit it before too long. You may see happy Catholic couples at church. The husband is smilingly holding a hymnal up for one of his half-dozen beautiful, homeschooled children. It's right around that time that the little green monster starts rearing its ugly head in your lonely heart. Do not give into it! It is pure poison in your life!!
    
    If you're a revert and you find your heart is disastisfied and covetous, get thee to a confessional as quickly as possible. If you're not receiving the Sacraments yet, talk to your priest, repent, and, pray, pray, pray! Moreover, cultivate joy and gratitude right where you are. Remember that your marriage is a sacred covenant ordained by God between you and this man, your husband. Receive your man and your marriage for the GIFTS that they are. Enjoy them, right here, right now! Don't wait for him to convert to enjoy your husband, reverence him, obey him, respect him, honor him, LOVE him. That day may never come. Love him now, just as he is.

I have mainly spoken of principles in this post. I know that there are a lot of pracitical living questions that crop up from this topic, as well.

• What should I do if my husband insists I use birth control?
• What should I do if my husband doesn't want me to go to Mass?
• I'm a revert and I was married outside the Church. I need to have my marriage convalidated, but my husband is against it. What should I do??
• I want to baptize our children Catholic, but my husband doesn't want me to. What should I do???
  

To mention just a few "easy" ones, right? If these or any other quesitons are on your heart, please feel free to post them in the comments section or to email me. Each one probably deserves a post of its own, and I will try to get to them as I am able, though it may take some time and I may not be qualified to answer all of them.

In the meantime, know that I am praying for each and every one of you ladies who find yourselves in this difficult position. May God grant you wisdom, peace, and joy in your marriage as He welcomes you--or welcomes you back--into the community of His Holy Church. May you know true unity in your life--the unity of the universal Church and the unity of Marriage.

Small Home Inspiration!

Our family lives in a smallish third-story condo. No garage, no yard, no basement, no attic. Yeah, things can get a little cramped. However, due to the economic shift over the past few years, we also will not be moving out for another handful of years; it's just not financially prudent. So, what's a growing family to do? Give thanks, and get creative!

Enjoy these before and after photos of a family of three who is thriving in 382 square feet! Yes, you can make even the smallest, humblest home welcoming, inviting, and comfortable with minimal expense if you have the right attitude.

Whether your home is small or large, old or new, give thanks for the roof over your head, and love this home as though it was your dream house! You might be surprised just how close it comes to fulfilling those dreams with a little TLC.

The Reason for the Season

May all my Christian readers have a blessed, humbling Ash Wednesday and a trying, transformative Lent!

"The passion of Jesus is an ugly fact in hitsory. But if we are to continue throughout our lives to drink of the life-giving water of the Holy Spirit, we must continue to draw near to the body of our crucified Lord from whom the saving waters flow. Union with Jesus in the mystery of his passion and death is the indispensable condition for experiencing the power and the wisdom of God in our lives... The day that we cease proclaiming Jesus Christ nailed to the cross is the day that we effectively part company with the gospel.

"And the call to every disciple is also to the cross. Paul told the Galatians, 'You cannot belong to Christ Jesus unless you crucify all self-indulgent desires and passions" (see Galatians 5:15-16). Self-mastery over every form of sin, selfishness, emotional dishonesty, and degraded love is the less-traveled road to Christian freedom. But there is no growth without pain and no integrity without self-denial. (Of course, neither pursuit is particularly attractive apart from the personal love of Jesus Christ.)

"Listen to what Jesus speaks to you from the cross: 'I am dying to be with you. I'm really dying to be with you.'

"And then He whispers, 'Will you die a little be with Me?'"

- The Ragamuffin Gospel by Brennan Manning

Blueberry Blintzes for Breakfast and...

Some cheese blintzes with blueberry sauce for breakfast on Shrove Tuesday. Mmm... Because tomorrow is Ash Wednesday and we won't be able to have sweets, we were forced to eat them all. What a terrible trial it was for us. ;-)

For my readers who have legitimately complained to me about the significant lack of Sophia and James photos in recent weeks, here are a few of my darling girl helping to make heart-shaped scones for breakfast on Valentine's Day!

I'll have to work on getting some pictures of James up next!

* The Bookworm's Library has been updated: Books Children Love by Elizabeth Wilson and The Successful Homeschool Family Handbook by Raymond and Dorothy Moore

A Scandinavian-Inspired Shrove Tuesday

Traditional semlor buns, photograph by Lena Grön, Cult Design

Some call it Fat Tuesday. In New Orleans, it's called Mardi Gras. In Merry England, it's Pancake Day. Whatever it's called, Shrove Tuesday, the last day before Lent begins, is meant to be set aside for two things: shriving (going to Confession) and feasting!

This year, I am combining our family's British and Scandinavian heritage in our Shrove Tuesday celebration. We'll still have pancakes, but this year, they will be in the form of Cheese Blintzes with Blueberry Sauce . Technically, a blintz is Eastern European, but Swedes make their own version, known as Swedish pancakes.

For dinner, we will be feasting on Apricot-and-Prune Stuffed Pork with Mustard Sauce, a traditional Swedish dish for Shrove Tuesday. Alongside, I will be serving Swedish brown beans, another staple dish for the day, and a luxuriant dish of fingerling potatoes cooked in cream and dill. Dessert will be semlor, sweet buns filled with almond paste and whipped cream and served in a bowl of warm milk--a must for any Swedish Shrove Tuesday celebration!

I know that most Catholic celebrations tend to be centered on the traditions of nations that are still primarily Catholic, such as France, Italy, or Poland. England and Sweden are certainly not considered Catholic countries, but perhaps that is why the traditions have been guarded and cherished so fiercely through the centuries--so much so that even non-Catholics and secular citizens in these countries tend to participate in Catholic cultural traditions, such as the eating of scrumptuous semlor. In any case, I thoroughly enjoy drawing from my own rich cultural heritage for our holiday celebrations, and I feel blessed that there is truly so much to learn and to celebrate!

How will you be celebrating Shrove Tuesday? Do you follow your own heritage's traditions, draw from those of another culture, or invent your own?

A True Valentine

 

February has long been considered the "month of love," a carry-over from the ancient pagan festivals of Rome. I would like to invite my wifely readers to join me in doing something truly romantic that is neither ancient nor pagan. Consider committing to just a few minutes a day for the next month, and join me in 31 Days of Praying for Your Husband. Let's team up and confidently approach the throne of God on behalf of our husbands! I'm starting today. How about you?

The Swedish Table by Helene Henderson

So, I just finished devouring The Swedish Table by Helene Henderson, which I borrowed from our local library, and it was too incredible not to share it here immediately! As a Swedish-American, I was enthralled by the new and exciting takes on traditional recipes, ingredients, and techniques, but I think even non-Scandinavians will appreciate this excellent cookbook and enjoy Helene Henderson's wonderful stories about her fascinating life in Sweden and beyond. Most apropos, it is chock full of excellent vegetarian and fish dishes, perfect for the upcoming Lenten fast. If you can nab a copy from your library, do so, but you might just want to skip the formality and go ahead and purchase it.

Lenten Dinner Ideas

Several readers requested my ideas for Lenten meals. I got the impression that they were mainly looking for dinners, so here is the list I compiled for myself for both fish and vegetarian dinners for Lent.

Please be aware that these recipes are not vegan; many include animal fat, eggs, and broth made from animals (chicken, mainly). You can make appropriate substitutions if your dietary restrictions prevent you from eating these products.

Fish Dinners

• Roasted Cod with Olives and Lemon, Skillet Potatoes with Olives and Lemon, broccoli
• Codfish Cakes, salads, oven-baked “fries”
• Bright Pasta Tonnato, salads
• Baked Red Snapper, rice, salads

Vegetarian Dinners

• Tomatoey Spiced Chickpeas, rice, Moroccan Eggplant Salad
• Pizza with Swiss Chard and Goat Cheese
• Asparagus, Fingerling, and Goat Cheese Pizza
• Colcannon, Noreen Kinney’s Irish Soda Bread
• Swiss-Barley Mushroom Soup, Trapp Family Lodge Oatmeal Bread
• Irish Vegetable Soup, Noreen Kinney’s Irish Soda Bread
• Crockpot Chili and Cornbread Cake
• Spinach-and-Cheese Stuffed Pasta Shells, salads, bread
• Spinach and Ricotta Pie, garlic bread, salads
• Orzo with Artichokes and Pine Nuts, Roasted Fennel and Carrots with Pecorino
• Spinach and Cheese Strata, salads
• African Curried Coconut Soup with Chickpeas, Moroccan Eggplant Salad, naan
• "Greens and Beans", bread
• Cheese Quiche, salads, baguette
• Shallot-Mushroom quiche, salads, baguette
• Onion soup, bread, salads
• Macaroni & Cheese, salads
• Escarole (or Kale) and White Bean Soup, bread
• Minestrone Soup, bread
• Cheese Enchiladas with Green Sauce, salads

Feel free to post other ideas and recipe links in the comments section!

* The Bookworm's Library has been updated: Found Treasure by Grace Livingston Hill, Swedish Cakes and Cookies translated by Melody Flavish

Feast of Our Lady of Lourdes: February 11th

Tomorrow is the Feast of Our Lady of Lourdes, the anniversary of our Blessed Mother's first appearance to St. Bernadette. Rather than repeat myself, I am reprinting my post from last year below.



Since it was to St. Bernadette that the Rosary of the Blessed Virgin Mary was given, you might also enjoy my five-part Introduction the Rosary series on this feast of Our Lady:



An Introduction to the Rosary
Part II: Prayers of the Rosary
Part III: Mysterious Mysteries?
Part IV: How to Pray the Rosary
Part V: What it Means to Me


151 years ago, the Blessed Mother appeared to a poor fourteen-year-old girl in the cleft of rock Masabielle in a grotto Lourdes in Southern France. The young girl would later become St. Bernadette Soubiroux. Mary appeared eighteen more times to Bernadette over the coming months, the final apparition occurring on July 16th. Mary, who appeared to Bernadette as a young woman "Lovelier than I have ever seen," sometimes spoke to Bernadette during these visions. Once, the Blessed Mother told young Bernadette to drink from a fountain that miraculously began to flow from a rock in the grotto where the apparitions occurred. Another time, she bade Bernadette to go tell her local clergy about a chapel that the Blessed Mother wished to have erected there. "I am the Immaculate Conception," Mary told Bernadette.

Naturally, the clergy were highly skeptical of Bernadette's accounts, particularly since no one else claimed to have seen or heard the apparitions, even though there were sometimes people with Bernadette when she saw and heard Mary in the grotto. Four years later, however, the bishop of that diocese declared that the faithful were "justified in believing the reality of the apparition". A basilica was built on the rock of Masabielle and pilgrimages to Lourdes began. The basilica was later expanded as it was not large enough to house all the pilgrims who flocked to the site. In 1901, it was named the Church of the Rosary, and it stands there today.

It is estimated that over 1 million pilgrims a year journey to Lourdes, which has become most famous for the healing powers of the waters in the fountain in the grotto that Mary first bade Bernadette to drink from. Though skeptics still abound, thousands of cures have been reported to have occurred at Lourdes, not including spiritual healings which often escape human detection. Many of these cases have been carefully studied and ratified by physicians and other secular experts as well as by religious authorities.

On the anniversary of Bernadette's first apparition, Catholics the world over stop to remember this miraculous event and to honor the Holy Mother of God, who is the Mother of all the faithful. To celebrate this day, you might consider praying the rosary if you don't already. Your family might also enjoy some French, particularly provencale or Southern French, dishes on this day: things St. Bernadette Soubiroux might have eaten. Our family will be enjoying crepes for breakfast and some pork cassoulet for dinner. Tell your children the story of the Lourdes apparitions. If you can get them where you live this time of year, decorate your home with roses and lilies, which have long symbolized Mary. Wear white and pale blue, the colors that Mary appeared to Bernadette in. If you are musical, do sing "Immaculate Mary," also known as "The Lourdes Hymn." I sang this as a little girl, and it is still one of the most beautiful, simple hymns to my ears.

"Immaculate Mary" Lyrics

Immaculate Mary,
your praises we sing,
You reign now in spendor
with Jesus, our king.
Ave, ave, ave Maria. Ave, Ave Maria!

In heaven, the blessed
your glory proclaim;
On earth we, your children,
invoke your fair name.
Ave, ave, ave, Maria! Ave, ave, Maria!

We pray for our Mother,
the Church upon earth,
And bless, Holy Mary,
the land of our birth.
Ave, ave, ave, Maria! Ave, ave, Maria!

We pray you, O Mother,
may God's will be done
We pray for His glory,
may his Kingdom come.
Ave, ave, ave, Maria! Ave, ave, Maria!

Cooking in the Lenten Kitchen

Lenten regulations have changed quite a bit from bygone days when dietary restrictions abounded. (Although, in the Orthodox churches, there are still some pretty stringent rules to follow.) Before we take a look at what Lent looks like in my kitchen, let's have a refresher on what the Church's official laws are:

• Abstinence from meat on all Fridays during Lent and on Ash Wednesday during for all Roman Catholics over the age of 14.
• Fasting is to be observed on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday for all Catholics 18-58 years old.
• While fasting does not apply to the infirm or to pregnant or nursing mothers, abstinence is for everybody who is over age 14.
• Fasting is encouraged daily throughout Lent and abstinence encouraged on all Fridays, but this is not mandatory.
  

These are only the hard and fast rules. We must remember, however, that Lent is a season of penance, of spring cleaning our souls in honor of Christ's Passion and in preparation for the celebration of His Resurrection! Why do the bare minimum? Ours is not an ascetic household by any means, but if we're going to give something up for Christ, we're going to give until it...well, maybe not until it hurts, but at least until it means something.

So what does Lent look like in my kitchen?

• We abstain from meat on all days except Sundays, which do not count as part of the Lenten season for Roman Catholics, since they are always meant to be a day of celebration! Never is this celebratory air so apparent as during Lent.
• Breakfasts are simple: homemade bread with fruit and milk, granola and yogurt, or porridge.
• Lunches, too, are plain: bread and soup, peanut butter or cheese sandwiches, some veggie sticks and a piece of fruit
• Dinners are vegetarian, with fish on Fridays. We try to cut back on general expense so that we have more to contribute to charitable causes. I make a point of dinners being nutritious and enjoyable but nothing too extravagant, complicated, or rich: good, plain cooking.
• We do not have dessert, except on Sundays, and we cut down on sweet things, in general, though we do still eat fruit and I admit that I simply cannot stand porridge without a little brown sugar.
• We drink only milk, water, tea, and coffee.
• Since I am nursing and since we have young children, we do eat between meals. I give Sophia a morning snack, and I usually will take an afternoon snack. Fruit and vegetables, slices of bread and buter, and cottage cheese make excellent Lenten snacks for those not fasting between meals. I especially enjoy making soft pretzels, a traditional Lenten food. This former Philadelphian prefers hers with yellow mustard!

This week, I'm working on making up a meal plan for Lent. I'm hoping that by doing this ahead of time, I will save as much money as possible, but the main thing I want to save is time: time that will be better spent in prayer and service this Lent rather than in weekly meal planning. I so enjoy pouring over recipes and menus that this is a form of penance in itself!

Feast of St. Josephine Bakhita: February 8th

No one knows what name St. Josephine Bakhita's parents gave to her at birth. Born in the Darfur region of Sudan in 1868, Josephine was kidnapped at the age of 7 and sold into slavery, and the horrific trauma of her early life caused her to forget the name given by her parents. Her kidnappers, in a twist of cruel dramatic irony gave her the name "Bakhita" which means "fortunate."

Young Bakhita was sold and resold many times, a humiliating and frightening experience. Finally, in 1883 at the age of 15, she was sold to Callisto Legnani, the Italian consul in Khartoum, Sudan. Two years later, Legnani gave her to a friend, Augusto Michieli to be the babysitter of his daughter, Mimmina Michieli in Venice. Slave and mistress became close friends, and Bakhita even studied alongside Mimmina at Venice's Institute of the Catechumens, run by the Canossian Sisters. During this time, Bakhita felt drawn to the Catholic faith. In 1890, she was baptized and confirmed and took the name Josephine. I wonder if Joseph's ascent from slavery inspired the choice of her Christian name.

When the Michielis returned to Africa, Josephine refused to return with them. The matter was taken to court, and it was eventually decided that, since slavery was illegal in Italy, she had actually been freed since 1885, when she first arrived in Italy. And so, Josephine entered the Institute of St. Magdalene of Canossa in 1893 and made her profession three years later. In 1902, she was transferred to the city of Schio. She assisted her religious community through cooking, sewing, embroidery and hospitality to visitors. This remarkable woman of faith died in 1947 and was cannonized in 1992.

"Be good, love the Lord, pray for those who do not know Him. What a great grace it is to know God!"

The Mother of Invention

an illustration from the first edition of Little Women

I find that boundaries and limitations often prove to be the best impetus of creativity and industry. With the economy the way it is, many of us are finding, like Louisa May Alcott's March sisters, that our own human genius is put to the test and that, if we rise to the occassion with thanksgiving, it is a lot more fun not to have everything our hearts could desire quite at hand--that there is a particular joy in sometimes doing without, learning to make do, and simply in making!

What I saved today:

• Making two gourmet pizzas from scratch instead of ordering in: $30
• Tailoring my own shirt: $20
• Trimming my own bangs: $10
• Cutting my husband's hair: $20
• Spending the morning gardening and the afternoon at the park with my family rather than countless other busy and possibly costly activities: my own peace of mind :-)

What I gained today:

• A healthier dinner to share with my family.
• Knowledge of how to adjust the tension on my sewing machine--and another sewing project for this year. That officially makes two, which was my goal for the year! Now, everything else will be icing on the cake. I'm having so much fun. Thanks again, Elizabeth, for the sewing machine--and for teaching me to use it!
• Confidence in my hair-cutting abilities and continued experience with a useful skill to bless my family with.
• The glorious sunshine and clean air of a mild winter day in the Pacific Northwest. Oh, how I love living in this beautiful corner of the world!
• The joy that comes from learning a new skill.
• The satisfaction that comes of a job well done.

Necessity is, indeed, the mother of invention!

How has your ingenuity and creativity been put to the test recently? Share your triumphs and adventures! I'd love to hear them.

A Banana Cream Pie

When all the bananas ripen at once, what's a girl to do? Why, bake a banana cream pie, of course!

"It is utterly insufficient (to eat pie only twice a week), as anyone who knows the secret of our strength as a nation and the foundation of our industrial supremacy must admit. Pie is the American synonym of prosperity, and its varying contents the calendar of the changing seasons. Pie is the food of the heroic. No pie-eating people can ever be permanently vanquished."

- New York Times editorial, 1902; in response to an Englishman’s suggestion that Americans should reduce their daily pie eating to two days per week.

Chivalry: A Catalyst for Virtue?

"God Speed" by Edmund Blair Leighton

“Love, with the troubadours and their ladies, was a source of joy. Its commands and exigencies made life’s supreme law. Love was knighthood’s service; it was loyalty and devotion; it was the noblest human giving. It was also the spring of excellence, the inspiration of high deeds.”

– H.O. Taylor, The Medieval Mind

Valentine's Day is approaching. If the candy and hearts in the grocery store check-out aisles are any indication, I would say that love is in the air. Of course, what many people today call love, at least romantic love, looks little like the idyllic knight-in-shining-armor fantasy that most young girls dream of. Today, studies are being done and books are being written to try and understand this modern phenomenon of hooking up, casual sex, and slack fidelity.

I'm not going to get up on a soap box and argue about whether or not chivalry is dead. I think that chivalry is alive and well in the hearts of a number of men out there--and dead as a doornail in others. Fascinating as this dichotomy is, it's not actually what I want to talk about right now, though. What I'm interested in is this:

What impact does chivalry have on a man's capacity for excellence? Further, what would be the impact of chivalry (or a lack thereof) on other areas of a man's character and life?

The quotation at the head of this post implies that there is a strong connection between chivalrous love--one grounded in loyalty, devotion, honor, and chastity and which may have been entirely platonic--that enables nobility in a man's character, a sort of driving force for virtuous undertakings. I'm inclined to agree with this viewpoint, myself. It seems to bear out in my own observations and experience.

So, what do you all think? How important is chivalry for a man to reach his highest potential? Where there is a lack of chivalry, what is the fallout in other area's of a man's life? How important is it for us as a society to value and cultivate chivalry? How does a man cultivate a chivalrous attitude? How can a woman help the men around her to cultivate chivalry?

I'm especially interested in the thoughts of my male readers.

* The Bookworm's Library has been updated: Catholic Education: Homeward Bound by Kimberly Hahn and Mary Hasson and Candlemas: Feast of Flames by Amber K and Azrael Arynn K

The Ratings You've Been Waiting For

Curious what the US Conference of Bishops has to say about the moral integrity of your favorite movies? For thorough reviews and a classification of A-I (general audiences) to O (morally offensive), check out this helpful site. 14,000 films are currently reviewed in the database.

Too Good to Miss

Just go read this article.

Candlemas Traditions for February 2nd

"Candlemas Day" by Marianne Stokes

DOWN with the rosemary, and so
Down with the bays and misletoe;
Down with the holly, ivy, all,
Wherewith ye dress'd the Christmas Hall:
That so the superstitious find
No one least branch there left behind:
For look, how many leaves there be
Neglected, there (maids, trust to me)
So many goblins you shall see.

- Robert Herrick

This traditional poem about a Candlemas superstition is a fun reminder that all Christmas decor should come down by the end of the day. This year, I left up a token decoration--our wreath--which we will be burning in the fireplace this evening! Our neighbors should feel reassured that we will not be that family who leaves the outdoor Christmas decorations up year-round.

It is midwinter, the turning point of the year, when we look behind with gladness on the holidays past and forward to the last, bleakest days of cold and to the sobriety of Lent. It is a time for quiet thought, if we can get it. For thoughtful reflection, if we will face it. It is a day for Mass, for family around the fire, for cold hands and warm hearts. And, crepes wouldn't go amiss, either. This year, I'm serving ours up for breakfast (as opposed to the traditional late-night snack) with apple filling and whipped cream. Yum!

Also, did you know that Candlemas lore was the precursor to Groundhog's Day and the rituals surrounding our good friend Puxatawnay Phil? As the old English saying goes,

If Candlemas day be fair and bright,

Winter will have another flight.

If Candlemas day be shower and rain,

Winter is gone and will not come again.

February 2nd is one day of the year when this Seattlite pulls for rain! How's it faring in your neck of the woods?

February

"Woman Sewing by Candlelight" by Jean Francois Millet

"Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home." - Edith Sitwell

February is here--the last month before spring! In Western Washington, this is by far the dreariest time of year. Sometimes we can go for a week without seeing the sun, and being wet becomes a way of life until the March winds blow the rainclouds off. But, as the wise king once wrote, "To everything there is a season and a time to every purpose under Heaven." February is a glorious time for curling up with a good book, enjoying a hot bowl of soup with the family, lighting those last winter fires, and of course dreaming.

With foul weather keeping us bound to home and hearth even more than usual, it is pleasant to fight cabin fever with some good, old-fashioned family celebration. Here are some upcoming holidays to start pondering:

• 
  
  Feast of St. Brigid of Ireland (today!)
• 
  
  Candlemas (tomorrow!)
• 
  
  Feast of St. Blaise (February 3rd)
• 
  
  Feast of St. Agatha (February 5th)
• 
  
  Feast of St. Scholastica (February 10th)
• 
  
  Feast of Our Lady of Lourdes (February 11th)
• 
  
  Feast of St. Valentine (February 14th)
• 
  
  Feast of St. Bernadette Soubirous (February 18th)
• 
  
  Feast of the Chair of St. Peter the Apostle (February 22nd)

Now, let's take stock. How are your New Year's Resolutions coming along? Remember, slow and steady wins the race. If there are some resolutions you haven't accomplished yet--or if you haven't quite stuck with them--take heart! There are eleven months to go, plenty of time to turn over that new leaf.
Here is my rundown of my 10 for '10:

1. I have yet to manage to get a Holy Hour. We'll start afresh in February, and this month I'll be sure to coordinate with Brian so that I have a scheduled time to visit the adoration chapel.
2. My price book has begun! I have ten items and counting.
3. I've been praying the Liturgy of the Hours with some regularity, though I don't get all the hours in every day. Slow and steady.
4. I've only missed on Divine Mercy Chaplet on Friday afternoons. I have so enjoyed adding this devotion to my week.
5. Too early in the season still from growing a green thumb! But, my houseplant is continuing to flourish. I think I need to repot it this spring, though.
6. I have had to cut my jogging down to weekends-only until the sun starts coming up earlier. It is still dark when Brian leaves for work and dark again long before he comes home. Until that changes, I just don't feel safe going running during the hours he is here to watch the kids. But, I knew that would happen. I'm eagerly awaiting the spring when I can get back to my every-other-day routine!
7. I've had some nice phone conversations with some sisters in Christ this month but not many visits--at least, not intentional ones. Need to work on that.
8. Epic fail on setting up playdates for Sophia. Such is the way of cold-and-flu season I suppose. If she isn't sick, then all her friends seem to be!
9. This weekend I did my first sewing project: swaddling blankets for two friends' new babies. A humble beginning, but a beginning nonetheless.
10. Does grocery shopping count as an educational outing for the children? I'm inclined to think it is. If so, then we're on track with this resolution!