Memorial Day

"National honor is national property of the highest value."

- James Monroe, 1817

God bless the men and women who have lived and died to defend the honor of this great nation and, in doing so, have proven their own. They have made a great sacrifice of the very highest value. Let us honor them today. Let us pray for the repose of their good souls. Let us honor their sacrifice by celebrating this beautiful country and by living with honor, which is both our duty and our humble sign of gratitude.

Sunday

A Reflection

"To become new men means losing what we now call 'ourselves'. Out of our selves, into Christ, we must go. His will is to become ours and we are to think His thoughts, to 'have the mind of Christ' as the Bible says. And if Christ is one, and if He is thus to be 'in' us all, shall we not be exactly the same? It certainly sounds like it; but in fact it is not so.

"It is difficult here to get a good illustration; because, of course, no other two things are related to each other just as the Creator is related to one of His creatures. But I will try two very imperfect illustrations which may give a hint of the truth. Imagine a lot of people who have always lived in the dark. You come and try to describe to them what light is like. You might tell them that if they come into the light that same light would fall on them all and they would all reflect it and thus become what we call visible. Is it not quite possible that they would imagine that, since they were all receiving the same light, and all reacting to it in the same way (i.e. all reflecting it), they would all look alike? Whereas you and I know that the light will in fact bring out, or show up, how different they are. Or again, suppose a person who knew nothing about salt. You give him a pinch to taste and he experiences a particular strong, sharp taste. You then tell him that in your country, people use salt in all their cookery. Might he not reply, 'In that case I suppose all your dishes taste exactly the same: because the taste of that stuff you have just given me is so strong that it will kill the taste of everything else.' But you and I know that the real effect of salt is exactly the opposite. So far from killing the taste of the egg and the tripe and the cabbage, it actually brings it out. They do not show their real taste till you have added the salt."

 - C. S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

Blessings, from my home to yours.

Large Families: "Unleashing the Army"

illustration by Beatrix Potter

In need of some fresh vision (or maybe just some inspiration) regarding large families? Head over to Pursuing Titus 2 where Mrs. Parunak sheds some light on the power of "Unleashing the Army".

"The point of life is NOT to go to work and do really well for ourselves. The point of life is to glorify God. Changing our focus to that goal suddenly gives a big family a whole new potential. There are so many things a small army can accomplish besides farming and blacksmithing, and when it comes to blessing others, every well-trained child becomes a huge asset."

Read the rest here.

A Classic Birthday Cake for James

It is a family tradition for me to make any cake (within reason and realism) requested by a family member for their birthday. For Sophia, last year, it was a peanut butter-and-jelly cake decorated with pink flowers. And, Brian chose a Boston Cream Pie for his birthday last year. Since James can't make his requests known yet, I decided to go with a classic: a tender-crumbed yellow layer cake with semisweet chocolate frosting and a classic message piped in blue icing! As you will see below, James was very pleased with the results.

Moist Yellow Cake

adapted to suit 9'' cake pans, from The Well-Decorated Cake by Toba Garrett 

3 c. flour

1 T baking powder
1/2 tsp. salt
1 c. unsalted butter, room temperature
2 c. sugar
5 large eggs
2 tsp. vanilla extract
1 1/4 c. buttermilk or sour milk

1. Preheat oven to 350°F. Butter two 9'' round cake pans. Line pans with parchment paper rounds and butter rounds. Flour pans, knocking out excess. Set aside.
2. In a medium bowl, sift together the flour, baking powder, and salt.
3. Cut up the butter into 1-inch pieces and in bowl of an electric mixer, fitted with a paddle attachment. Beat for 3 minutes on medium-high speed until the butter is light and creamy in color. Stop and scrape the bowl. Cream the butter for an additional 60 seconds. Add the sugar, 1/4 cup at a time, beating 1 minute after each addition. Scrape the sides of the bowl occasionally. Add the eggs one at a time, beating well after each, and scraping bowl down with each addition.
4. Reduce the mixer speed. Stir vanilla into the buttermilk. Add the dry ingredients alternately with the buttermilk. Mix just until incorporated. Scrape the sides of the bowl and mix for 15 seconds longer.
5. Spoon the batter into the prepared pan and smooth the top with a knife. Lift up the pan with the batter, and let it drop onto the counter top to burst any air bubbles, allowing the batter to settle.
6. Center the pans onto the lower third of the oven and let bake 40 minutes or until the cake is lightly brown on top and comes away from the sides of the pan and a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean.
7. Cool completely in pans on cooling racks.

Chocolate Frosting

taken from Williams-Sonoma Kids Baking by Abigail Johnson Dodge

 

1 1/2 c. chocolate chips

4 T (1/2 stick) unsalted butter, at room temperature

8 oz. cream cheese, at room temperature

2 1/2 c. confectioners' sugar

2 tsp. vanilla extract

1/4 tsp. salt

2 T heavy cream

1. Melt the chocolate chips in a heatproof bowl set over simmering water in a saucepan, stirring often with a wooden spoon until smooth, about 4 minutes. Turn off the heat. Using oven mitts, remove the bowl and set aside to let the chocolate cool slightly.
2. In a bowl, using the electric mixer, beat the butter and cream cheese on medium-low speed until the mixture is smooth and no lumps remain. Turn off the mixer and scrape down the bowl with the rubber spatula. Add the confectioners' sugar, vanilla and salt, and beat on low speed until smooth and fluffy.
3. Add the chocolate and cream and beat on low until well blended. Frost and decorate the cake as desired.

* Apple Cider Mama's Tip: Set aside a portion of the frosting before step three. Dye it whatever color you like (I used Wilton Delphinium Blue for James' cake) and use it to pipe a message or decorative border on the cake. You may need to thicken this mixture with a little more confectioners sugar or lighten it with additional whipped heavy cream to get it to pipe properly.

Happy Birthday, Mister James!

My baby boy turns one today. How quickly a year runs its course.

How precious every moment with my sweet, sweet son. I love you, my Sweet Baby James.

Happy Nameday, Sophia!

Madeleines for the Feast of St. Madeleine "Sophie" Barat

St. Madeleine Sophie Barat, pray for us!

Proverbs 31 Reflection: Verse 13

Picture by Carl Larsson

"She obtains wool and flax and makes cloth with skillful hands."

Does this literally mean that a virtuous wife must spin her own wool and weave her own cloth? Well, in this day and age, I'd say not, unless of course she happens to love doing those things and is able to do so in a timely and economic fashion. The real point of this verse, as I understand it, is three-fold.

1. The virtuous wife is purposeful, especially with finances. She knows what she needs and how to get it. She thoughtfully purchases quality goods and materials, not junk. She purchase what she needs, for herself and for her household. She is not wasteful or capricious. She is also not lax. She doesn't put off her purchases or neglect the important task of clothing her household well. She does her duty and does it with skill.

2. The virtuous wife is capable and skilled in domestic arts and sciences. One isn't born with an innate knowledge of where and how to purchase goods for spinning or how to make those goods into yarn and that yarn into cloth. Back in the time of Solomon, spinning and weaving were necessary skills for running a successful household. Today, the skills might look different, but a woman endeavouring to be a worthy wife would be wise to put her time and efforts into obtraining knowledge and skill with regard to her household.

3. The virtuous wife is domestically-minded. If you notice, our Ideal Wife is currently branching outside her domestic realm a bit. She has now entered the marketplace--but notice what she does there. She buys wool and flax so that she can make cloth to clothe her household. She doesn't waste her time or her money or go hogwild as soon as she leaves the confines of her home. Even if she's not physically at home, that's where her heart is--and it's where she continues to invest her time and resources.

We may not know how to weave and spin, but any wife can be a wise and purposeful consumer, a skilled and knowledgeable homemaker, and a domestically-minded wife. All it takes is the desire, a conserted and sustained effort, and a willing heart and mind.

Sunday

A Reflection for Pentecost

"He pours light into our minds, arouses our desire and gives us strength...
As the soul is the life of the body, so the Holy Spirit is the life of our souls."

- St. Peter Damian 

Blessings, from my home to yours.

Gifts of the Spirit Mobile

First listed in Isaiah 11:2-3 and later expounded upon by St. Thomas Aquinas in his Summa Theologica, the seven gifts of the Holy Spirit are Wisdom, Understanding, Counsel (right judgment), Fortitude (courage), Knowledge, Piety, and Fear of the Lord.

To help my young children gain a very elementary understanding of the Person of the Holy Spirit and the gifts that are bestowed on us by Him, we made a Mobile to celebrate the Feast of Pentecost, when these gifts were first granted and the Church as we know it was officially begun.

It’s fairly easy, if you’d like to make your own. Just draw and cut out seven doves on plain, white paper. You can write each of the seven gifts on the doves.

Then, have your little helper or helpers color another sheet of paper (or otherwise decorate) in “flame” colors—we used yellow, orange, and a red-orange. You can also use a paper plate with the ridged edge removed for this purpose. Cut the paper or plate into a spiral.

Then, glue or tape your doves on in such a way that the colors of the spiral and the words on the doves are visible. Hang wherever your family will best be able to admire and meditate on it. We hung ours from the lamp above our dining table.

Celebrating the Spirit

"Descent of the Holy Spirit" by Tiziano Vecellio

This coming Sunday is Pentecost Sunday, also known as Whitsunday. Since our children are quite small--and since Sophia's nameday and James' first birthday are next week--our celebration will be fairly simple, though we still have some fun things planned. Still, I thought I would share with you all what our family is planning to do to celebrate. Hopefully, you will be inspired as you choose from the myriad wonderful traditions out there to celebrate this feast with your family.

• Sophia is ecstatic that we will be making and flying our own kite. Given the time constraints and the fact that my sewing machine is presently out of commission (long story), we'll be making our kite out of paper this year. But, we look forward to making one out of fabric in the future. Sophia has specified that her Pentecost kite be red--definitely in keeping with the feast!
• Today, the kids and I are making a Holy Spirit dove mobile and talking about the seven gifts of the Spirit.
• Coloring pages from Lent and Easter in the Domestic Church for Sophia.
• Reading about the descent of the Holy Spirit from Tomie DePaola's Book of Bible Stories.
• An all-white breakfast: cake doughnuts dusted with powdered sugar, slices of honeydew, and tall glasses of ice cold milk.
• A pale, if not exclusively white, dinner: celery soup; cold chicken with mustard, cucumbers, and dill; potato salad, and Holy Spirit crackers. I'm considering serving this on a picnic when we go to fly our kite.
• Homemade vanilla ice cream (white for Whitsun) with strawberry "flames" (slices) for dessert!

* The Bookworm's Library has been updated: Recipes and Remembrances from an Eastern Mediterranean Kitchen by Sonia Uvezian and The New Dare to Discipline by Dr. James Dobson

Our Daily Bread

“I would say to housewives, be not daunted by one failure, nor by twenty. Resolve that you will have good bread, and never cease striving after this result till you have effected it.”

- Marion Cabell Tyree, Housekeeping In Old Virginia, 1878

It takes time to get really good at making bread. To learn just how the dough should feel when you knead it. To pick up the little tricks of the trade that will aid you in making a soft, tender, delicious loaf. To learn which recipes work best for sandwiches and will hold together when you slice them. Then you must also learn the family's preference for flavor and texture and discern how much you will need to make in order to not be baking bread every time you turn around--or turning too much of it into pudding because you overbaked!

I wouldn't say I've perfected the art of baking bread just yet, but I'm making progress.

I have recently upgraded the everyday bread recipe in our home. This is now my fail-safe, fool-proof, go-to recipe for daily bread to have for sandwiches or to serve hot with butter and a bowl of soup. The recipe is for a basic white bread, which we use for tea sandwiches or special occasions. I have also included whole wheat and herb variations, and it is the whole wheat recipe that we use for everyday. It slices well, and is so soft and delicious, and I hope it will get some of you who have heretofore been intimidated by bread making the confidence to start providing your own family with one of the most elementary and nourishing home comforts: freshly baked bread made by your own hand.

3/4 c. warm water

2 1/4 t. active dry yeast

1 t. salt

1 1/2 T sugar

1 T butter

1/2 c. whole milk

3 c. all-purpose flour

3 t. vital wheat gluten (you can omit this as you get better at kneading)

1. Dissolve yeast in warm water 5-10 minutes, until frothy.
2. Add salt and sugar to yeast mixture.
3. In large bowl, microwave butter until melted. Add whole milk. If mixture is slightly warmer than body temperature, you may add the yeast mixture at this point, otherwise, microwave the milk until it is just warmer than body temperature, and then add the yeast mixture.
4. Stir in 2 cups of flour and the wheat gluten with a spatula. Slowly add flour by the tablespoon until the dough holds together when mixed with the spatula. Dust a work surface with flour and scrape dough onto it. Dust your hands and the top of the dough with flour and start kneading. Knead until the dough is smooth and does not stick to the counter. You may not use all the flour called for, or you may use a bit more.
5. Put dough into a buttered bowl and cover with a clean tea towel. Let rise in a warm place until doubled (about an hour).
6. Punch down dough, knead briefly, and shape into loaf. Place in a buttered 1 lb. loaf pan and cover with the clean tea towel. Let rise until 1'' above rim of pan (about 40 minutes in my kitchen).
7. Meanwhile, preheat the oven to 425F.
8. When dough is ready, you can brush with an egg wash if desired and pop into the oven. Immediately reduce temperature to 375F and bake until bread sounds hollow when tapped on the bottom, or about 1 hour. (To do this, you will need to remove the loaf from the pan and tap the bottom with your finger. If it's not ready, just pop it back in the pan and back in the oven for another few minutes. Repeat until you get that hollow sound. There's nothing more discouraging than slicing into a loaf of bread to find that the center is gooey after all that effort.)
9. If you like your crust soft (or your kids are picky about crusts), brush the hot loaf with melted butter immediately upon removing from oven. This will keep the top crust soft.
10. Turn loaf out of pan and let cool on rack for at least ten minutes. You can then serve the bread hot, or let it cool completely before serving.

For whole wheat variation: Replace 1 c. all-purpose flour with 1 c. whole wheat flour in first addition. If you like a sweeter wheat bread, you can add a few tablespoons of honey. Dust with wheat bran after applying egg wash.

For herb variation: Using either white bread or wheat variation, add 1/4 c. chopped herbs (any kind you like) to dough before kneading. Continue as directed.

Proverbs 31 Reflection: Verse 12

"The Confession" by Dicksee

"She brings him good and not evil all the days of her life."

There aren't many wives out there, I think, who would wish to bring evil to their husbands. I mean, unless you're a real harpie, you're not sitting around plotting murder or theft against your spouse.

Of course, evil is a word that we like to think of only in its extreme senses in today's society. We like to imagine that evil only encompasses those things which are really evil, unequivocally evil in every age, every society, and every faith. But, for a Christian, evil = sin. In fact, in my Bible, there is a footnote which innocuously clarifies this verse as meaning that the ideal wife will bring her husband "prosperity and not adversity" throughout her life.

Hm...how many wives are queens at bringing adversity down upon their husbands? I can think of quite a few more than those who are maliciously plotting "evil." One of them is typing this post. Though, admittedly, I'm trying to minimize the adversity and maximize the prosperity I'm sending Brian's way.

How can we fill our husbands' lives with adversity?

• By making unwise purchasing decisions, especially if we're racking up debt to do it.
• By complaining about the things that we have or that he does, or by beleaguering him for the things that we want or the things that we want him to do.
  By challenging his authority in front of our children.
• By criticizing him to our mothers or friends or by doing so in public. By making things harder on him when we didn't need to.
• By undervaluing our chastity, through immodesty, flirting (even playful, purportedly platonic flirtations), ogling movie stars, or lusting over characters in romance novels, and especially by becoming intimate (even emotionally) with a member of the opposite sex.
• By badgering him or jumping to unfair conclusions.
• Even by stubbornly refusing to take out the trash because it's his job, and he's the one who agreed to do it, even though we know he's going to walk in the door from work and be distracted and forget again because he's just "that kind of guy."
• By resenting him.
• By being quick to anger and slow to forgive.

What do you think? Sound a little more familiar than schemes of murder and theft? Remember, this is nowhere near an exhaustive list. Spend some time thinking about the ways you've brought adversity into your own marriage. Here's a hint: think about those thing that continually come up during arguments discussions. It probably won't be the event that sparked it but those little niggling issues that come up again and again once the sparks start flying.

Alternately, how can we start to cultivate "good" or "prosperity" in our marriages?

• Through prudence, especially with finances and child-rearing.
• By cultivating an attitude of joy and peace in our hearts and an atmosphere of joy and peace in the home. Honestly, you'd be amazed how much "good" this does to your husband--and to your entire family, including you. Yes, you can choose this, by the grace of God. Even on the hard days. I'll admit, though, that it is tough sometimes.
• By choosing to think the best of your husband until given explicit cause to doubt him.
• By supporting him, even when he makes mistakes and screws up--and not broadcasting those mistakes far and wide to friends, family, or anonymous trolls on the internet.
• By choosing to value our chastity as a great prize. Sirach 26:15 says, "Choicest of blessings is a modest wife, priceless her chaste person." Think about it. Better yet, pray about it.
• By looking after the health and well-being of our husbands and our children.
• By helping our husbands to reach their goals. Remember, you were created to be this man's ezer, his holy helper. He needs you. So, find out what he needs from you and then give him a willing hand to aid his efforts. You will both be exponentially blessed.
• By being slow to anger and quick to forgive, just as our Lord is with us.

I find that praying the Lord's Prayer regularly helps me in my endeavours to bring my husband good and not evil, prosperity and not adversity. After all, it is only through the strength of God that any of us is able to avoid evil and continue steadily upon the path of righteousness.

Homemade Hamburger Buns

Did you know that you can make your own hamburger and hot dog buns at home?

I tried it this weekend for the first time, cutting this recipe by half. Ridiculously easy. Ridiculously tasty.

A new summer staple.

Sunday

Revelation and…

“The Spirit and the Bride say, ‘Come.’ Let everyone who listens answer, ‘Come.’ Then let all who are thirsty come that all who want it may have the water of life, and have it free.

The one who guarantees these revelations repeats his promise: I shall indeed be with you soon. Amen; come, Lord Jesus.

The grace of the Lord Jesus be with God’s people. Amen.”

                  - Revelation 22:17, 20-21

…a Recipe


WHOLE WHEAT BUTTERMILK PANCAKES

1 1/2 c. buttermilk or sour milk
3 T melted butter
1 egg
3/4 c. whole wheat flour
3/4 c. unbleached flour
2 t. baking powder
3/4 t. baking soda
3/4 t. salt

Combine milk, butter and egg with whisk in a large bowl. In another bowl, combine dry ingredients. Add dry ingredients to wet, stirring just until moistened. (You can add berries or chocolate chips at this point; blueberries are pictured above.) Drop large spoonfuls onto a hot nonstick (or greased) griddle and cook until bubbly and edges are dry. Flip, and cook on other side until pancakes are cooked through. Serve hot off the griddle with a drizzle of real maple syrup.

Blessings, from my home to yours.

A Breath of Fresh Air on the Stay-at-Home Front

Good morning.

I just wanted to share this incredibly refreshing article with you all. It's an interview with Rachel Campos-Duffy, former Real World star turned stay-at-home mother of six and author of the new book Stay Home, Stay Happy: 10 Secrets to Loving At-Home Motherhood.

So pull up a chair and your mornin cuppa, and enjoy.

P.S. If you want to buy the book, please consider using the link above from my site to purchase from Amazon and give this work-from-home mama a kickback from the proceeds of your purchase.

Baking Day

 

It is worthwhile to have a baking day in the week when you do the majority—if not all—of your baking. Friday or Saturday works nicely for our family, as it enables us to have fresh bread for Sunday tea’s sandwiches. It’s also an ideal opportunity for me to bake dessert for Sunday dinner so that I don’t have to be busy in the kitchen on the Sabbath, and of course, our weekly batch of granola is always in order. I do like to bake something midweek--just because I love baking--whether it's a loaf of fresh bread to go with a soup supper, or if there is a birthday or other celebration that calls for a dessert, or if we have a sudden craving for fresh teacakes!

Bread freezes and rethaws quite nicely. Once it has cooled, I wrap one loaf in plastic wrap, then tin foil, and label it before tucking it away in the freezer. I pull it out midweek and leave it in the refrigerator overnight to thaw, and then we have fresh bread for sandwiches or to slice for toast with our morning eggs. I admit, it's not as good as freshly baked bread, and you don't get that heavenly scent in the house. But, if your family likes toast and sandwiches and you're in one of those seasons where baking a loaf of fresh bread daily or every other day is just not going to happen, it's a worthwhile thing to bake ahead and freeze.

You can also work with refrigerator doughs which can rest, unbaked, in the fridge until you need them, then shaped or popped into muffin tins for fresh rolls, biscuits, or muffins throughout the week. Personally, I only do this when our monthly refrigerator supply of foods has begun to dwindle; otherwise, I don’t have the room. But, they are handy little recipes to have in your arsenal.

Here you can see my trusty Kitchenaid, a wedding gift from my mother, and one of the most useful and well-loved things that I own. Diminutive tea cakes, studded with currants, sultanas, and chopped dried apricots are cooling on a rack. We’ll toast them later and serve slathered with salted butter.

Below is Simnel cake batter in a prepared pan, ready to be popped in the oven. On Saturday evening, I rolled out the almond paste topping, and voila! It was the perfect dessert to celebrate Mother’s Day—and I didn’t have to lift a finger the day of.

 

Baking all on one day simplifies things tremendously. The oven only has to be heated once, saving energy and time. You can pipeline your recipes so that you can bake a couple of things in the oven at once and time your risings so that no time is wasted—and no heat from the oven. The kids can be involved without having to be de-floured and scrubbed down on a daily basis—or you can arrange to bake during their naps or when someone else is able to entertain them away from the kitchen.

And, of course, when you’re all finished, it’s nice to see those clean dishes resting on the counter while you heat the kettle for a well-deserved rest.

* The Bookworm's Library has been updated: Essentials of Slow Cooking by Denis Kelly, Classic Preserves by Catherine Atkinson and Maggie Mayhew, Ball Complete Book of Home Preserving ed. by Judi Kingy and Lauren Devine, Ball Blue Book of Preserving

An Ascension Thursday Picnic

"A Birthday Picnic" by Arthur Hughes

I had never heard of this before, but apparently, there is an old tradition in some communities of picnicking on hilltops for the Feast of the Ascension (today)! It's just such a fabulous idea, and a great way to get the children connected in a visceral way to the meaning of the Feast. Imagine reading the gospel account to them out in Creation with family and friends relaxing after a perfect picnic dinner. Some people also release balloons (which isn't good for the environment) or blow bubbles. If you wanted to really go nuts, you could release a dove or other bird.

It's gorgeous weather today, and we live in one of the most beautiful mountainous regions in the United States, so who can resist the siren song of the outdoors to celebrate our Lord's Ascension and glory in His Creation? If only I hadn't planned soup for dinner. Hmm...Maybe we'll just stick it in thermoses and go anyway. In any case, I'm definitely packing a picnic next year!

Proverbs 31 Reflections: Verse 11

"The End of the Quest" by Sir Frank Dicksee

"Her husband, entrusting his heart to her, has an unfailing prize."

How much do you think about your husband's heart? How well do you know it? How well are you keeping it?

Do you stop to think that it is in so many ways like your own? Do you realize that, in many ways, it is unlike your own, that it must be handled, nurtured, and kept in ways that are not necessarily identical or even akin to those which are best for your own heart?

There is a saying that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Another idiom says it is through his eyes. Some say that a husband's heart is touched most profoundly through love making. All of these things are true. If you notice, they all have to do with the body.

So many times, we women equate the heart exclusively with feelings, with emotion. In other words, we view the "heart" as something intangible, rather like electricity. Men, however, have hearts that are more like lightbulbs. Resultantly, women have come to be accused by men of being unfathomable and insubstantial, and in turn women have charged men with being simple and carnal. But, I see these differences of heart as something to be celebrated, not ridiculed, and it behooves us wives to celebrate and learn to touch the unique hearts of our husbands.

If you want to be cherished as a peerless, "unfailing prize," then spend some time really considering how you can speak to your husband's heart. Find out what makes him feel loved. Some ideas which may or may not pertain to your particular husband:

Tell him you're proud of him. Be specific about why. Words of affirmation and praise go such a long way with men; often we women (though we enjoy praise in our own right) hardly comprehend how much it means to them.

And please, whatever you do, do not speak ill of your husband. Not to anyone. Not even in jest. It is pure poison for his heart and for yours.

Respect him. Understand that undermining, belittling, or shaming your husband is akin to him shunning you in times of emotional distress. There is a reason Scripture tells husbands to love their wives and wives to respect their husbands. Respect is your husband's "love language." If you value his heart (and if you want to see an increase of lovin' coming your own way), then learn to speak it!

Plan a romantic evening...and I'm not talking about roses and bubble bath. I mean the sort of romance your husband is hankering for. You know what I'm talking about. Plan for it. Let him know you were thinking about it. Make it special.

Incidentally, that stuff I said above about respect? This sort of goes for sex, too. Rejecting sexual advances from your husband is analogous to if you were having a really hard day and you needed his shoulder to cry on and he said, "I'm just not in the mood right now." Think about it. This isn't to say that you're meant to be available for love-making 24/7, just as your husband can't always drop whatever he's doing to comfort you. But, try to be sensitive to the reality of what sex means to and for him, and don't treat him like he's a chauvanistic caveman for coming on to you. If that's what you really think, then you're missing the boat entirely, and the two of you need to have a serious talk, possibly with the aid of a counselor or pastoral mediator.

If you need to let your husband down, do it gently and kindly and above all, let him know how much you still want him even if you really are bone tired just at the moment. Then, make the effort to plan another romantic evening real soon--as in tomorrow!--so he knows that you mean what you say.

Treat his tummy. That phrase I quoted earlier about the stomach? It wasn't created in a void. Try, at least a couple of times a week, to cook a meal that your husband truly loves. Make his favorite dessert on Sunday. If he has dietary concerns or particular aversions, be sure to take them into account whenever you cook. And, don't underestimate the power of a good breakfast.

If you can manage it, I highly encourage you to get the whole family at the breakfast table to share a unified meal and time of prayer together to fortify you all through the day. It can be especially important for husbands (and school-aged children, if you do not homeschool) who have to leave the safety and peace of home for many hours.

Do what's important to him. Does your husband value a clean house? Does he like it when you look pretty? Does he enjoy hosting parties? Or is he more of a homebody? The things that you value or enjoy are not necessarily the things that bring pleasure to your spouse. Try catering to some of his desires. If you only have enough time to clean the floors or bake a dessert, and you know your husband loves pie and could care less about clean floors, then start rolling out the dough, sister! If, conversely, you're the one with the sweet tooth, and your husband is stressed by disorder and uncleanliness, then break out the broom!

You may balk at the idea at first and feel like you're playing housemaid, but remember that Christ Himself came not to be served but to serve. Your husband should be your best friend, your partner in life, and your head and the head of your family. Is it really too much to ask that you do a few things his way? You'd want him to do the same for you, wouldn't you?

You're the one who vowed to love, honor, and cherish this man until death--you and no one else! So, devote yourself to speaking to his heart. It is a privelege, and it is meant to be yours exclusively. If you don't, there are only two options: Either no one will, or someone else will. Neither one is something you want to have happen. But, don't do it just to avoid a bad fallout. Do it because he's your husband and he's worth it! No, really, he is worth it. And so is your marriage.

And, so are you.

If you don't feel like an "unfailing prize," then turn over a new leaf. God is more eager than any of us to make all things new, and He will give you all the help you need.

Proverbs 31 Reflections, Part I: Verse 10

"Bride with a Fan" by Marc Chagall

In the coming weeks, I am going to be doing a little reflective series on the Proverbs 31 wife. Just snippets here and there, in between my other posts, as the mood strikes me and the Spirit moves. I hope you will all chime in. In the midst of this world that puts so much undue and misguided pressure on women, we need the support, wisdom, and fellowship of our Sisters in Christ!


So, let us begin:

"When one finds a worthy wife,

her value is far beyond pearls."

This may seem stupidly obvious, but it is worth noting: Being a worthy wife is a worthy endeavor.

Proverbs 31:10-31 is titled "The Ideal Wife" in many English Bibles. It seems like a tall order, but in fact, there is a pervasive attitude today in the world that is much more demanding: that women must be ideal at everything: successful employees, exciting lovers, thoughtful wives, dedicated mothers, clever, creative, well-dressed, trim. The list goes on. Then, when we quite naturally become overwhelmed by the expectations that bombard us from every side, we are told not to worry. Gone are the days of the housewife in heels, gone the days of the power-suit Superwoman; cut yourself some slack, pour a glass of wine, and have your husband take the kids to the park while you soak away the stresses of the day in a hot bath.

Yeah. Right.

The truth is that the world is spinning a vision of womanhood that is both too restrictive and demanding and, conversely, too unrestricted and indulging. However, a return to the days of yore--be they the power-suit '80s, the lassez-faire '60s, the June Cleaver '50s, or the idyllic turn-of-the-century--is not the answer. Yet, there is no need to reinvent the wheel as we look for a way to lead lives as modern women who wish to find fulfillment both in this life and the next. We don't have to consult the handbooks of yesteryear. God lays it all out for us in the greatest handbook of all, His Holy Word.

All those other hats we put on, the myriad roles we play each day and through the different stages of our lives--we can't put them all first. Something must take prominence. And, for those of us who are wives, it okay--and good--and worthy to give this role a place of honor, privelege, and priority. How do we know?

Because, to use the words of an old Sunday School song, "the Bible tells me so."
With all that is vying for our attention and time, it is all too easy to take our marriages for granted, to let the role of wife fall by the wayside or to set it on the backburner. After all, we may think, this is the one thing in my life that shouldn't be transient. This is 'til death do us part. I've got time to work on the wife thing when my other ducks are in their rows.

But, this is foolish thinking. Earlier in Proverbs, we read that "The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands, the foolish woman tears hers down." To be wise and worthy wives, we must build our houses. We must invest in our marriages, which are meant to be earthly demonstrations of Christs relationship to His Bride, the Church.

Don't wait for tomorrow. Determine today that you will pray for a vision of true Godly womanhood, and strive today--and every day--to become a worthier wife. It is worth your time. It is worth the effort. It is a worthy way to spend a life. If you are already doing these things, be encouraged, and keep fighting the good fight, living the good life.

A Cup of Early Grey

"Marie Kroyer" by Peder S. Kroyer

"Computer:
Tea,
Early Grey,
Hot."

- Sir Patrick Stewart as Cpt. Jean-Luc Picard

Perhaps it is a silly thing to glean so much pleasure from a scalding cup of earl grey tea on a drizzly spring morning. But, if it is, then so be it. I am a felicitous fool.

Incidentally, Patrick Stewart is currently starring as William Shakespeare, the Bard himself, in Edward Bond's Bingo at the Chichester Festival, and I am left with yet another reason why I wish I was in England.

A Vision of Home: Repost

I came across this post again yesterday, and it really spoke to my heart. It's a little strange and wonderful when your own writing can inspire you. This is one of the reasons why I always encourage people to keep journals. Anyway, I hope that you all can find some encouragement for your own hearts.

Have a blessed weekend, and I wish a very happy Mother's Day to all my mother-type readers!

"The Milkmaid" by Johannes Vermeer

I have always loved this painting. The radiance of the simplicity in both composition and subject speaks powerfully to me of the greatness inherent in little acts. Martin Luther once said,

"What you do in your house is worth as much as if you did it up in heaven for our Lord God. We should accustom ourselves to think of our position and work as sacred and well-pleasing to God, not on account of the position and work, but on account of the word and faith from which the obedience and the work flow."

That is precisely what this painting speaks to me.

Sometimes, I need to look at this painting again, to remind myself that the work I do in my home and for my family is of great worth, if not in the eyes of the world, then in the eyes of God, and in the lives of those that I love. And, it is of worth to me. As this painting is of great worth to me, so to is the way I live out it's message. Sometimes, amidst the dishes and the laundry and the diapers and vaccuuming and cooking and baking and scrubbing, I forget. I forget the vision that I hold so dear: of a loving family, a warm and happy home, a space for God to dwell richly in me and mine.

I think that we can make the mistake of looking at housewives and stay-at-home mothers and come to one of two conclusions: "Oh, she just loves it; she was made for this," or, "Poor woman, she's trapped!"

I think that all of us who have chosen a life (or a stage of life) in the home have felt both of these things. Sometimes, when we've had a glorious day cuddling our baby or we pull a perfect-looking piping hot pie from the oven, we say to ourselves, "This is paradise. I was made for this kind of work, these kinds of rewards. I can think of nothing else I would rather do." And every once in awhile, we look with envy at our working friends with their "success," their careers, their neatly styled hair and their sweet freedom, and we say to ourselves, "Why did I ever do this? I can be so much more. I can do so much more. Why am I trapped here in this house with these babies and all this thankless menial labor?"

However, it is unfair to think that because there is some merit to these two stereotypes that they are all there is to a housewife. I think the reason most of us who stay at home do so is not, ultimately, because we enjoy housework or raising our children up by hand nor is it because we are trapped by oppressive, over-bearing macho husbands. It is because we have a vision. We have a vision of the kind of family, the kind of home, the kind of peace, the kind of life that we want for ourselves and for our loved ones.

But it's not primarily about the home-cooked meals, the clean bathrooms, or the homeschooling, either. We have a vision of the blessings that God pours out on us somewhere between the family gathered at the breakfast table, the newly ironed sheets, the evening stroll to the park, and the heartfelt goodnight kiss. Yes, these things are blessings in the themselves, but the true blessings can be found when God meets us in these humble daily moments. The peace of a well-ordered home speaks to its inhabitants and guests of our Lord, "For God is not a God of disorder, but of peace" (1 Corinthians 14:33a). The love of a family who grows and prays and eats and spends much time together speaks to us of the strength of love that we can find a committed life lived for God. The sacrifices of a mother for her children, a wife for her husband, teaches us the true joy found in being "a servant of all" (Mark 10:44).

I stay home not because I love ironing clothes or serving home-cooked meals (though I actually do love both) nor do I stay at home because I have no other choice. I stay at home because when I look at Vermeer's "Milkmaid," when I watch The Waltons, when I read about the Weasley family at the Burrow or Proverbs 31, I am given a glimpse of something so beautiful that I will give up much in order to gain that vision. I know that, perhaps, I could be or do "more," and by more I mean, something else. But, I also know that whatever else I put on my plate will take away from the vision I have and place my energy, my time, my efforts, my talents, and my love elsewhere. I stay at home not because I want to be less than what I could be but because I want more of the life that I call "good." And when I do my work at home as unto the Lord, I find that home can be the field Jesus speaks of in Matthew 13:44

"The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field."

I have found that treasure in my home. Wherever you find it, I hope you sell all you have and go to claim it with joy.

Butter Biscuits

I made these crisp, buttery sandwich cookies from Martha Stewart Living last night. I'd been dying to try the recipe for years and had simply never gotten around to it. I recently unearthed a copy of it, and as I was itching to bake and had a jar of chocolate-hazelnut spread to hand, I figured, why not?

They are so good! I say "are" because we are still slowly eating them; fortunately, they keep very well for several days. It's tempting to gobble them down at once, but they are so rich, it is far better to savor just one with a perfectly brewed cup of tea. I only made one teensy adjustment to the recipe: I didn't bother wasting an egg to brush the cookies with a yolk-and-cream mixture, as specified. Plain cream does just fine on its own. There are better uses for my eggs.

Brian ate his sandwiched, as in the recipe. I had a single cookie with a little bit of the chocolate-hazelnut spread smoothed over the top. Sophia ate hers plain with a mug of warm milk. Bliss.

A Mother's Prayer Card Bookmark

A bookmark that helps you pray for your kids! 31 brief prayers with accompanying Scripture verses. From NavPress. Mother's Day is coming up. Need I say more?

Check it out.

Where All Is Undismayed

 

Sometimes the injustice of this world overwhelms me until I can feel my knees buckle and angry tears stinging in my eyes.

So, sometimes I need reminders like the one I got today in the form of a poem by Wendell Berry. (Thanks, Adri.)

"To My Mother"

And this, then,

is the vision of that
Heaven of which
we have heard, where those who love
each other have
forgiven each other,

where, for that, the leaves are green,
the light a music in the air,

and all is unentangled,
and all is undismayed.

An Israeli Spread for the Feast of St. James the Just

Today is the Feast of St. James the Just, our James' patron saint. St. James is also known as James the Righteous, James of Jerusalem, James Adelphotheos, or James the Brother of the Lord. He was, as the final moniker indicates, a close relative of Christ, as well as the first Bishop of Jerusalem. He is widely held to be the author of the Letter of James in Scripture and of the Apostolic Decree spoken of in Acts 15. According to the writings of Josephus, St. James suffered martyrdom by stoning after defying the Pharisees by publicly proclaiming Jesus to be the Christ. It is recorded that, even as he was being stoned to death, St. James prayed for those who murdered him. It is speculated that the account in Acts of the protomartyrdom of St. Stephen may actually have refered to the death of St. James, whose name would have been changed to the illustrative "Stephen," which literally means "crown," as in the crown of martyrdom.

Not to be confused with James the Great (brother of John, and another of the original Twelve disciples of Christ), St. James' feast is celebrated on May 3rd (today) along with the feast of St. Phillip.

In honor of James' first Nameday, I made a special Israeli feast in honor of his patron's Jewish heritage and his bishopric in Jerusalem.

An Israeli Spread for the Feast of St. James the Just

Joan Nathan's Falafel
Hummus
olives
veggies
pita
blueberry-pomegranate spritzers

I had wanted to make some Cream of Jerusalem Artichoke Soup (which apart from the name has nothing to do with Jerusalem), but I couldn't find any sunchokes in our grocery store.

When James is older, we will be able to tell him more about his patron, but in the meantime, I think he's already forming a bond with this great saint--or at least forming a love of falafel!

Apple Dutch Baby

So, I wasn't aware until recently, but did you know that according to Seattle lore, the Dutch Baby was created here, at a restaurant called Manca's? Alternately, I've heard it called a Dutch pancake, a German pancake, or a souffled pancake. You whip the eggs hard, pour the batter into a heated skillet, and then sit back while it puffs golden-brown in the oven. No waiting for rotations of pancakes or waffles to come up. Dump it onto a plate, cut it up and serve! (If you have a large family, you can get two or three skillets going in the oven at once, depending on the size of your oven--just be sure to switch their position halfway through cooking.)

Ingredients

• 1 tart apple, peeled, cored, and sliced very thin
• 1 T sugar or brown sugar or honey (depending on preference)
• 3 T butter, divided
• 3 eggs at room temperature 30 minutes, seperated 
• 2/3 c. milk at room temperature
• 1/3 c. flour
• 1/3 c. whole wheat flour 
• 1/4 tsp. vanilla extract
• 1/4 tsp. cinnamon
• 1/4 tsp. salt
• 1/8 tsp. grated nutmeg

Directions
 

1. Place a cast iron skillet in a cold oven and preheat to 450F.
2. In another skillet, sautee 1T butter and apple slices with 1 T sugar and a hearty shake of cinnamon until soft (about five minutes).
3. Combine egg yolks, milk, flours, remaining spices, salt, and vanilla in a large bowl.
4. In the bowl of an electric mixer, beat the egg whites until frothy.
5. Fold half of egg whites into batter. Incorporate the rest of the egg whites.
6. Add the remaining butter, cut into pieces, to the preheated cast iron skillet, tilting to coat. Pour in the batter, top with sauteed apple slices, and place in oven. Bake 15-25 minutes (depending on the diameter of your skillet) until a toothpick inserted in the middle comes clean.
7. Serve hot, with a squeeze of lemon juice and a dusting of confectioners' sugar or drizzled with real maple syrup.

Note: You can also make this without seperating the eggs, but your pancake will not be as puffy. However, the method is faster and clean-up is easier. Just beat the eggs until pale and frothy in the mixer, then add the milk, flours spices, salt, and vanilla to complete the batter. Continue with steps 6 and 7.

Variation: You can also omit the apple, sugar, and 1 T butter, as well as Step 2 from this recipe. Serve with a spoonful of macerated strawberries and freshly whipped cream. You can also serve with any sweet compote, a homemade blueberry sauce, warm jam--whatever sweet topping strikes your fancy!

Apple Cider Mama Waxes Poetic

"Lady Writing a Letter" by Johannes Vermeer

So, I've got three different novels going right now.

One's a pretty heavy YA novel (possibly adult crossover) that deals with a lot of weighty coming-of-age type stuff.

Another is adult fiction, about a woman who was married for only one day, based incredibly loosely off of some family lore about my great-aunt who was married for only one day (and nobody knows the story behind that one).

And, the third, the one that I'm really plugging away at right now, is a YA about a fifteen-year-old boy who decides to become a priest. It's humorous, and a lot of fun, so I'm really sinking my teeth into it at the moment. Unfortunately, between that and taking care of the fam-fam, I haven't had much time for posting. Sorry about that.

So, for today, I thought I would just treat you all to some of my old writing: my poetry. From the archives. Enjoy.

"Finding God in a Clover Field"
"Full"
"What It Means to Me"
"On Proverbs 31"
"The Thin Place"
"Myrrh"
"I bake b'stilla and cherry pie"
"Born"
"only words"